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Urban Outfitters Gets Into Korean Beauty

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Our beauty-obsessed souls are smiling. Want to know why, collegiettes? Our favorite hipster hub, Urban Outfitters, just introduced an array of Korean beauty product lines in its stores. Things were taken to another level when we learned that UO launched its first Beauty Store in its flagship Herald Square location in New York City on June 7. Not to worry, non-New Yorkers: UO plans to install Beauty Stores in more locations soon.

To distribute exclusive Korean beauty products, UO now carries an assortment of brands called TONYMOLY, Holika Holika, Mizon, Peripera and Skinfood. Among the buzz-worthy goodies are starfish cream (yes, you read that correctly) and peach sake pore BB cream. As if the formulas aren’t enough, their uber-cute packages make them that much more fabulous. TONYMOLY, one of the Korean beauty lines UO just introduced, is a South Korean-based cosmetics brand comprised of eco-friendly products that haven’t been tested on animals, each packaged as pandas, apples or egg cartons (just to name a few).

Feast your eyes on a few of the stylishly packaged Korean beauty products that UO now sells, below. Then go ahead, collegiettes: run out to the nearest UO and thank the Beauty Gods for answering our prayers.

TONYMOLY Eggpore Shiny Skin Soap ($14)

 

TONYMOLY Panda's Dream Magic Cream ($15)

 

TONYMOLY Tomatox Brightening Mask ($15)

 

Holika Holika Wine Therapy Sleeping Mask ($24)

 

Hello Holika Breeze Kitten Blush ($28)

 

Mizon All-In-One Snail Repair Cream Tube ($15)

 

Mizon Returning Starfish Eye Cream ($32)

 

Peripera Peri's Tint Cream ($14)

 

Skinfood Honey Pot Lip Balm ($12)

 

Skinfood Peach Sake Pore BB Cream ($18)

 

Which of the adorbs packaged products is your favorite, collegiettes? Sound off below!


Orthorexia: When Being Healthy Becomes an Obsession

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We try our best to eat well and stay active, and we always hear celebrities boasting about their newest diets. However, some take it too far and can develop orthorexia nervosa. Orthorexia is when eating healthily becomes an obsession. We all have that friend who likes to talk about everything she eats and her latest juice cleanse, but orthorexia takes it to the extreme. Her Campus figured out what causes orthorexia, its signs and symptoms and how to get help.

What is orthorexia?

Orthorexia is an obsessive fixation on healthy eating. It is not an officially recognized disorder, but is similar to other eating disorders.

“It is a condition characterized by an extreme preoccupation with avoiding foods perceived to be unhealthy—usually foods high in fat, sugar, carbs (for example, donuts, fried foods, pizza, chips),” says Dr. Kim Dennis, CEO and medical director of Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center.

People with orthorexia infuse a morality into their thoughts and beliefs about food—good foods, bad foods, pure foods, toxic foods. There is no concept of balance in their meal plans or food choice; they must eat all “good foods” and no “bad foods.”

What causes orthorexia?

There is no one thing that can cause someone to develop orthorexia, but it is usually accompanied by a bigger underlying issue. Situations where someone is left feeling powerless, such as divorce, trauma or serious mental or physical illness, can be precursors for orthorexia.

“Most people who have it have high amounts of anxiety, are perfectionistic and can be obsessive in other areas of their lives, too,” Dr. Dennis says.

A person with orthorexia may start out by avoiding carbohydrates or cutting out unnatural, processed foods from his or her diet, but then will take it to the extreme. While some people do have strict diets, it’s when a diet overwhelms a person’s life that it becomes orthorexia. Someone suffering from orthorexia won’t just skip dessert, he or she will fixate on why it’s bad and everything in it that is unnatural or impure. An orthorexic’s mind and life is consumed by what he or she eats.

What are the signs and symptoms?

Someone with orthorexia will be more obsessed with maintaining a healthy diet rather than a healthy weight. He or she will fixate on foods that make him or her feel pure and healthy, avoiding foods with artificial flavors, GMOs, fat, sugar or salt. Someone suffering from orthorexia may feel guilt if she has deviated from her healthy eating.

Dr. Dennis says someone has crossed over to orthorexia when “they can no longer have any flexibility in their food choices, when what they eat and its level of perceived purity surmounts all else in importance in their lives.” For example, if a collegiette with orthorexia put dressing on her salad in the dining hall, she may fixate on it and not stop talking about it the rest of the night. She may also suddenly start telling everyone she has a sudden allergy to certain foods without a real medical diagnosis. Dr. Dennis says to watch out for food choices affecting a person’s social life.

“When they cannot go to a social function and enjoy friends and family because the food being served is deemed unhealthy,” it is a problem, she says.  It’s hard to know if your best friend really can’t eat gluten anymore because she actually has an intolerance, or if she is going through something more.

Why is orthorexia dangerous?

Since healthy eating is typically a good thing, it’s hard for some people to realize how problematic this type of behavior can become. “There are a lot less perceived negatives for their healthy lifestyle ‘choice’—which eventually becomes unhealthy and is no longer a choice but a must,” Dr. Dennis says. “This is a big difference from those with severe anorexia nervosa, binge eating disorder or bulimia.” It can just seem like someone is trying to be healthy, when it is actually turning into a sickness.

“In less severe cases, the attempt to follow an extremely rigid meal plan and the obsession with what they put into their bodies can cause negative psychological or interpersonal effects in the person’s life—like depressive symptoms, irritability, social isolation, etc.” Dr. Dennis says. “The focus on food overshadows and outweighs in importance everything else in the person’s life—work, relationships with spouse, friends, kids, etc.”

With such an emphasis on pure and healthy foods, it’s easy for sufferers to become physically ill. Dr. Dennis says some of the physical symptoms can include malnourishment, impaired wound healing, gums bleeding and fatigue associated with anemia.

How can you get help?

If you think you may have an unhealthy relationship with healthy eating, seek professional help. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, orthorexia is not a condition that a doctor can diagnose, but recovery can require professional help.

“It is not a DSM-V diagnosable/recognized condition, but we in the eating disorders world see it clinically,” Dr. Dennis says. She recommends seeing a professional skilled in treating eating disorders in helping to overcome this obsession. This person will be able to “support the person in being more motivated to change, in acknowledging there are problems with the ‘lifestyle’ that it is interfering with the person being able to live a free and meaningful, abundant life.”

If you think a friend may be suffering with this disorder, approach him or her kindly. “Tell them you read this article about it, and support them in seeking help,” Dr. Dennis says. “Tell them what you notice the impact it has had on you in your relationship with them, and any concerns you have about their happiness/health or lack thereof.”

Stay healthy, but don’t let it take over your entire life. If you think you may be suffering from orthorexia, don’t hesitate to get help! 

Google's 'Made With Code' Program Promises More Women in Tech

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Quick math review: women comprise approximately 50 percent of the population. Therefore, in any given industry, they should make up approximately 50 percent of the jobs. Right? Well, last month Google released its first-ever diversity report, and the results weren’t exactly the type that makes you want to say “hooray” for progress. Women only hold 17 percent of Google’s tech jobs.

Thankfully, the tech giant is trying to break up the boy’s club. Yesterday it announced the launch of a new girl-centric website, Made With Code. The site has cool videos from female coders (called makers), resources for parents and a search engine that tells you what coding events are happening in your area, but arguably the most innovative section is about the projects. Girls can learn how to make a printed bracelet, build beats for a song and create an animated GIF. 

For the second part of their initiative, Google is committing $50 million to help get girls into computer science; for example, giving money to teachers who encourage their female students to learn CS on platforms like Codecademy or Khan Academy.

Lastly, they’re collaborating with organizations like Girl Scouts and Girls, Inc., which will introduce Made With Code to their members.

As if that doesn’t sound cool enough, guess who kicked off the Thursday launch party in NYC? Some of our favorite female rockstars, Mindy Kaling and Chelsea Clinton.

Google found that most girls decide whether they want to learn to code before they ever enter college — so this youth-targeting project will play a huge role in increasing the number of women who code and, hopefully, who work at Google and in Silicon Valley.

“My school-age daughter instinctively knows how to play games, watch videos and chat with friends online. She understands technology. And she likes using technology. But, she never expressed any interest in creating it herself,” Susan Wojcicki, CEO of YouTube and one of the campaign’s founders, wrote on Google’s blog. “Nowadays, coding isn’t just a skill useful for working at a tech company; engineering isn’t just for engineers. Interior design. Medicine. Architecture. Music. No matter what a girl dreams of doing, learning how to code will help her get there. Their future — our future — is made with code. Let’s do what we can to make sure that future is as bright as possible.”

Dating Someone Who’s Not Out: How to Deal

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You know how amazing it is when you start seeing someone new. You've started to pick up on the things that make her laugh, and, more importantly, you try to protect her from things that make her upset. Then, things start to pick up and get a bit more serious; it’s finally time to DTR. You start talking about becoming more exclusive, and you couldn't be more excited at the prospect of starting a serious relationship with this phenomenal individual.

But there's one problem: your new girlfriend isn't out, and she doesn’t plan on coming out any time soon.

Here’s what you need to know and what you can both do in order to deal.

Why your partner might want to stay in the closet

So you, as the out-and-proud queer collegiette you are, might wonder to yourself, “Why would anyone want to stay in the closet?” But there are countless reasons why your new boo might not be ready to come out.

Mary Gorham Malia, the founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach, says the biggest reason that the typical college coed isn't out is she fears losing her parents' financial support. Considering the cost of college, this can be particularly overwhelming for her.

And the reasons don’t stop there, according to LGBT relationship specialist Christina Spaccavento.

“One of the most common reasons is fear of rejection, judgment, criticism or isolation from their family community or religion,” she says. “This could manifest in any way, from verbal put-downs or abuse, to financial or other supports being removed, to being disowned and thrown out of the family home.”

One collegiette, Carmen*, a senior at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, says that she simply hates the concept of coming out.

“I understand that it's a very important, empowering moment in a queer person's life, but I don't understand [why] whom I like or whom I'm interested in is anyone's business,” she says.

Another reason might be that her sexual orientation is a new part of her identity that she’s still in the process of exploring. She's still trying to figure out what she likes and doesn't like, and you might just happen to be a part of that process.

“A key factor in why I didn't want to come out in the beginning is that I wasn't sure what my sexuality was and wasn't ready to answer the questions I would be asked about it,” Carmen says. “Sexuality is fluid, but still bisexuals are criticized in the queer community for not fitting in the standardized concept of a homosexual.”

However, it’s important to pay attention to how this will affect you, as the person who is out. It can be difficult to be a person who is very public and open about her sexuality and have a partner who isn't as out and proud as you are.

“If you're the out one in the relationship, you can feel ignored [and] let down, as if your partner doesn't really care and love you,” Malia says. “But it's important that you both talk to each other and listen to each other.”

Problems you may run in to and how to deal

There will be many points at which your relationship might experience some turbulence.  Ultimately, it’s up to you to figure out what will be best for you and your significant other to make things work, but here are a few scenarios that you might find yourself in with your closeted cutie along with ways to fix them.

You feel forced back into the closet, but she’s feeling forced out of it

You’re only allowed to kiss when you’re alone in closed spaces, so you live for those moments in the elevator, stairwell and bedroom. Posting anything about the two of you on social media is definitely off-limits, so you just scroll through the pictures in your phone nonstop on your own. You’re tiptoeing all over the campus, dodging questions from your friends, like you’re on some sort of secret mission, and it can be exhausting.

Being with someone who’s in the closet makes you feel like you have to go right back in there with her. While she’s sitting there comfortably, you know that you’ve outgrown this dark, suffocating space.

If you’re not totally okay with your partner not being out, this can create increasing levels of conflict in your relationship. On a social level, you two will never be acknowledged as having “couple status.” You’ll have to come to terms with always being seen as “the perpetually single friend” or “the one who's always with that other person.” This can be extremely frustrating for you, since it’s totally understandable that you’d want to tell the world about the love you have for your girlfriend.

But you do need to understand that she has her reasons for staying in the closet, too, whatever those might be.

“This relationship can only last as long as you both let go of expectations of each other and being out,” Malia says. “You will both have to be okay with not doing some things together that other couples can easily do, like attend a dance and do a waltz together. You'll have to be quick to forgive each other.”

Another thing that you'll have to do is learn to trust your partner. Being in a relationship with someone who isn't in the closet puts her in a very vulnerable situation. You have to be able to be just as vulnerable as she is in trusting that she’s doing the best she can to give you, and the relationship, her all.

The communication isn’t there

There might come a time where both of you become too complacent with not bringing up certain issues. At first they’re so small that you may think you’re being nitpicky, so you figure it’s best not to bring them up. But sooner or later, they all start to build up until you’re both ready to explode.

Let’s be realistic: No relationship has ever worked out without proper communication. Things are bound to get harder if you and your girl aren’t talking out your problems. Even if they turn into an argument, there are some fights that need to be had.

“If the couple does not openly explore and discuss any concerns and issues around their situation, it could mean a lot of grief for their relationship,” Spaccavento says. “What is most important is that the couple communicates honestly, openly and clearly about the situation so that each person can express their feelings and needs.”

Carmen says that it helped when she and her partner discussed topics such as sexuality, coming out and how they both felt about it. However, she admits that as her relationship went on, she and her girlfriend stopped communicating, and they never talked about how hard it was for each of them.

“We both struggled for different reasons, and I think being more open about them in a respectful way would have helped just to understand what we were each going through,” Carmen says.

Communicating is the first step to healing. If you haven’t laid everything out on the table yet, it’s probably high time that both of you put on your big-girl panties and talked it out.

The relationship isn’t progressing

It’s a few months down the line, and you can’t ignore the fact that your relationship feels… well, ignored. You’re living a double life, and while you’re definitely into her, you’re not into keeping her a secret. What can you do when you can’t hold out much longer and you’re on your last limb?

Steven Bereznai, author of Gay and Single...Forever?, says that keeping your relationship under wraps will compartmentalize the relationship and limit its potential for growth.

“Think of it like a potted plant that's in too small of a pot,” he says. “What happens to the roots? How does that affect the rest of the plant's growth?”

If you’ve tried everything that you could to keep your beautiful little flower happy, maybe this relationship wasn’t meant to blossom. Sometimes it’s just best to let go gracefully and say goodbye.

“In the long run, [a closeted relationship] will probably mean a lot of disagreements, a lot of hurt feelings and a relationship that doesn't have what it needs to last a long time,” Malia says.  “If you can't do PDA because she's not out and she's actually inhibited about being sexual along with not being out, you're not going to be very happy over the long term. So it's an important thing for someone as an out LGBT person to recognize that this difference will eventually mean the relationship can't grow and move forward.”

Whether or not you choose to keep your girl around, it’s important to remember that coming out is a personal and sometimes scary experience. You can’t force her out the closet; not only is that extremely scarring, but it might lead to the end of any type of contact with her, friendly or romantic. Remember how significant it was when you came out—don’t you want the same type of incredible feeling for your girlfriend?

While she might be a huge part of your life, there are so many ways that you can still be out and about. So get out there and celebrate your pride with your queer besties—just enough for you AND your favorite closeted girl. 

 

*Name has been changed.

8 Best Stores for Sunglasses

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Collegiettes: is your future so bright you gotta wear shades? Or maybe it’s that powerful summer sun that's making you squint. Either way, we’ve got you -- and your eyes -- covered. Read on for our favorite stores for sunglasses.

1.  Urban Outfitters

For quirky, cool, so-hipster-it-hurts glasses, there’s no better place than Urban Outfitters. Here, you’ll find adorable heart-shaped and cat-eye versions, classic Ray-Bans, glasses that look like they could have belonged to John Lennon and more. They range in price from $12 to $385, but the vast majority are an affordable $16.

2. Forever 21

If you’re the type of girl who loses her sunglasses on the first or second day of vacation, consider buying your next pair at Forever 21. At $5.80 a pop, your wallet won’t shed any tears if you have to buy two pairs before the summer is up (or four, let’s be real). Plus, Forever 21 has some super cute options, from American flag-themed to glam animal print.

3. Etsy

You might think of Etsy as the place for monogrammed iPhone cases and pretty jewelry, but the site actually has a great selection of vintage sunglasses. Although these tend to be a little more expensive than the pairs you can buy at the mall, you’re guaranteed to be the only girl at the beach or bonfire that has ‘em.

4. Modcloth

Have you always felt like you were born in the wrong era? Then you’ll love Modcloth’s retro sunglass styles. You can channel your inner pin-up girl with an oversized pair in tortoiseshell, or your favorite Mad Men actress in some sorbet cat-eyes.

5.  Wet Seal

If your style is more Hollywood than historical, try Wet Seal. They offer dozens of variations on the traditional oversized sunglasses that celebrities love to rock. Bonus: each pair is only $7.50, meaning that you don’t need Nicole Richie’s fortune or designer connections to look like her.

6. ASOS

Variety is the spice of life, and British fashion retailer ASOS is big on variety — especially when it comes to glasses. For the collegiettes who waltz through the store and can’t find a single thing they like enough to buy, we challenge you to search through ASOS’s 400-plus selection and not fall in love with at least one pair. Our favorites include their chunky, futuristic sunglasses and their traditional aviators.

7. Anthropologie

Everyone needs a dash of whimsy in their life, and Anthropologie’s sunglasses will charm the socks… er, flip-flops off of everyone you come across. From their gorgeous, watercolor-inspired light blue Tana sunglasses to their striped, Mondrian-esque Tucker glasses, Anthro has the most feminine fare we’ve ever seen.

8. Nordstrom

Oh, you fancy huh! Sometimes, nothing but the best will do, so if you’re craving statement-making sunglasses, and you’re willing to part with the equivalent of, like, 30 hours of pay from your summer job, then go to Nordstrom for designer glasses. They offer lust-worthy brands like Prada, Ferragamo, Dior and Valentino. The one thing all of those brands have in common? The ability to produce sunglasses that go beyond mere useful accessory into work-of-art status. You may lose your paycheck, but you’re practically getting a Picasso. 

So don't worry if you can't find your favorites from last summer, because there are tons of great places to hit up in your search for sunnies. Whether you love crazy styles or the classics, we guarantee there's a pair out there for you.

Want to See the Set of Pitch Perfect 2?

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Having trouble waiting until May 15, 2015 to see Pitch Perfect 2? Have you ever wanted to see the place where the aca-magic happens? Enter Universal Pictures’ new contest on Facebook and you could win a trip to see the set of Pitch Perfect 2!

Entering the contest is as easy as horizontal running—just go to the Pitch Perfect Facebook page, make up an aca-mazing caption for the featured photo, and say why you’re the biggest Pitch Perfect fan!

The contest ends on June 22 (Sunday!), so if you’re 13 or older, enter now! Official Rules here.

 

The 5 Best Things About Being Single This Summer

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We all realized long ago that Noah and Allie’s summer love from The Notebook might have been too good to be true. (Just kidding…we didn’t. But girls can dream, right?)

And although a summer romance does seem exciting and captivating, the reality is that sometimes (and by sometimes, we mean most of the time), boys cause more problems than they solve. And who wants problems over the summer?

Whether you’re taking a break from your relationship at school for the summer or just continuing your stint with the single life, here are a few reasons to embrace your summer of solitude and enjoy the sweet, simple, testosterone-free parts of life.

1. You’ll stress less

Summer is all about relaxing and de-stressing from the pressures of school. So why carry any stress into your vacation time? Boys equal stress. Whether you’re trying to decipher his ambiguous text messages, freaking out over what to wear to a movie date, or dealing with the pressure from your fling to do things physically, if your guy is causing more stress than he’s relieving with his movie-star smile, he’s not worth it, plain and simple. There will be plenty of guys waiting to stress you out when you get back to school in the fall–you can be sure of that.

And, if you absolutely can’t resist...

2. You’re free to have fun, flirty flings

Let’s set a few things straight: just because you’re not seriously dating anyone doesn’t mean you have to stay 100 percent clear of boys this summer! When you’re not tied down to one guy, you’re at liberty to have hot summer flings with whomever you want. If you keep an open, carefree mindset, you won’t prevent yourself from having fun.

Embrace your freedom and the fresh, go-with-the-flow vibe that accompanies summer. If an attractive boy comes your way, don’t be afraid to just go for it! Beach trips, fireworks, and ice cream cones are often better shared, whether it’s with one boy or two (or three). And even if you don’t want to hook up with people this summer, you’ll still have the freedom to dance and flirt with other guys, guilt-free.

3. You can take a technology detox

You shouldn’t be wasting away in front of a computer monitor when it’s beautiful and sunny out—same goes for a cell phone screen. Summer is the perfect time to go on a cleanse of the technology (not juice!) variety. With school on hold for three months, you no longer have to stay on top of emails from professors, club list-servs, or text message party invites. The same goes for the technology overload that always accompanies male interaction. Technology is a huge part of the college dating world, either in the form of constant texting, Facebook stalking his ex, or taking the daring step of following him on Instagram. Spend your well-deserved vacation on the beach, going on a hike with friends, or in your backyard with family—not texting him, waiting for him to text you, wondering why he didn’t text you back… you know the rest.

4. You’ll have more girl time

It can be really difficult to split time between your guy and your girl friends during the school year, but it becomes even harder at home over the summer when you have a lot of catching up to do with your high school friends. Everyone will also be on different schedules based on when they return from and leave for school, if they have summer jobs and internships, or if they’re traveling, so you’ll want to have as much time as possible to spend with all of them! Whether it be checking out the concert scene (Bey and Jay, 'nuff said) near you or just having a backyard barbecue, use your few summer weeks wisely to reconnect with the girls who mean a lot to you. You’ll realize how much you missed the people who know you so well, and they’ll only reinforce your confidence in the fact that you don’t need a guy to make you happy!

5. You’ll have more YOU time!

It’s hard to realize how much time boys can consume until you’re no longer dating one. This freedom will only get better during the summer months when classes, club meetings, and 12-page papers aren’t filling up your schedule. With all this free time, you’ll be surprised at how much you’ll get done and how great you’ll feel about it!

Madison, a student at Colgate University, is trying to make the most of her single summer and flexible schedule. “I’m interning and living in New York City with some friends this summer, and by the time we all get home from work around 6 p.m., we’re exhausted and excited to just have girl time,” she says. “It’s nice not having to worry about looking hot for my guy or planning dates when I’m really wiped from work.”

Madison says being single for the summer lets her do what she really wants to do. “I also love that since I’m not tied down by a boyfriend, I can plan awesome trips with my roommates to museums and shows that boys wouldn’t really want to go to,” she says. “I even have enough free time to take an Arabic language class on Thursdays and Fridays, which I’m really excited about.”

Don’t want to take a class? Try knocking some books (or movies) off your bucket list, finding a new running trail, learning a new skill, finally trying those awesome DIY projects you’ve pinned on Pinterest, or taking a road trip with your family. They miss you! You are more important than any summer fling will be, so take some time to focus on you.

Whether you’re packing in the activities and adventures or just taking time to breathe post-school, you should focus on what makes you happy this summer...whether that includes a guy or not is up to you!

Happy summer, collegiettes! 

How Progressive Is Entrepreneurship Barbie?

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Presenting Entrepreneur Barbie, the doll ready to play and work! According to Time, Mattel launched the Amazon sale of the 2014 “Career of the Year” doll this week.

Entrepreneur Barbie wears a tight pink dress, black heels, and a dazzling necklace. She comes with a briefcase, tablet, smartphone and clutch. On Amazon, “Barbie Entrepreneurship Doll” is white, but one can also purchase “Barbie Entrepreneurship Hispanic Doll,” as well as dolls in Asian and African-American ethnicities.

Mattel partnered with eight female entrepreneurs, such as Jennifer Fleiss of Rent the Runway and Reshma Saujani of Girls Who Code. In an interview with TechCrunch, Fleiss praised Barbie “as a role model, an icon in the form of an entrepreneur [...] and the best form of inspiration.” Saujani said, “You can’t be what you cannot see,” and “inspiring young girls to be entrepreneurs is exactly what we need.”

But to what degree is Entrepreneurship Barbie a step forward? While young girls will see that Barbie is a businesswoman with what Mattel calls “smart, professional touches,” Barbie should perhaps be criticized for maintaining her unattainable silhouette. One questions how much progress this Barbie career woman can incite if, at the end of the day, she’s still the same Barbie in different clothing.

“If they can dream it, they can be it – anything is possible!” says Barbie on Mattel’s website, yet, no matter how much girls dream, they will never be able to mimic Barbie’s impossible frame. Barbie’s fitted dress—not the pantsuit of many women professionals—remains pink and fitted, perfectly matching the heels she could theoretically forgo.

While Mattel must still produce an attractive doll that girls will want to buy, one could assume that the momentum of the Barbie name and branding could inspire real change if Mattel took more of a chance with the actual doll. While the idea behind the doll is undeniably valuable, to what extent will young girls look beyond the exterior of the doll to realize the message she presents? Will young girls think that imitating an entrepreneur means holding a tablet in a tight dress? Instead of taking the opportunity to shift a frequently criticized ideology of outer rather than inner beauty and an unrealistic figure, Mattel took the easy way out when the company could have given the doll a less feminine outfit and a more realistic body image.

Mattel has also been using the hashtag #unapologetic to accompany Barbie’s new drive and independence. Barbie first introduced this concept in a controversial statement made in response to criticism of her Sports Illustrated 2014 cover, where she said, “The reality of today is that girls can go anywhere and be anything. They should celebrate who they are and never have to apologize for it." In other words, Barbie does not have to apologize for her girly appearance.

Many today would argue that the first sentence of this statement does not ring entirely authentic when women hold CEO positions in only 4.8% of Fortune 500 companies and millennial women today still make less than their male counterparts (though this argument does not come without dispute). The recent movement to change universities' reactions to cases of sexual assault, the shootings at UCSB, and #YesAllWomen hashtag on Twitter imply that our society still must implement more measures for true gender equality. Barbie, in contrast, seems to be speaking from the ideal, not the reality. Girls and women should feel that they can do anything, but if Barbie wants to be a driving force for gender equality, she should be advocating more rather than claiming an equality that does not exist.

While women in general do not have to apologize for wearing high heels and sporting pink every day, Barbie is more than just a woman. She is a fashion icon, a millionaire, and an ideology to which millions of young girls around the world subscribe. If Mattel wants Barbie to actually incite a change in how the girls view themselves and their place in society--and not shortchange the inspiring entrepreneurs with whom it has partnered--perhaps Barbie's appearance in her new career actually does have some explaining to do.


Bullying: Surviving It, Overcoming It & Changing It

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Have you ever been put down by someone you thought was a friend, or maybe even a stranger? Have you ever been bullied because of your sexuality?

 According to 2010 statistics from the National Youth Association, nine out of 10 LGBTQ+ students have experienced harassment at school. That may have been four years ago, but collegiettes across the country still face problems today because of their sexualities.

But what can we do? We explored the problem of bullying within the LGBTQ+ community deeper by talking to a lesbian collegiette who has survived bullying and Sue Scheff, author, parent advocate and Internet safety advocate.

Surviving it

Surviving bullying can be extremely difficult for LGBTQ+ students, especially considering it’s usually part of the coming-out process, which isn’t always a goodexperience.

Natasha*, a student from the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh, says that in high school, she feared being expelled for being a lesbian because of the many anti-gay talks that were given in chapel lessons at her private high school. She recalls getting called into the office of her dean, who asked her about a friend whom teachers suspected was a lesbian.

“I remember sitting in the dean’s office, hearing him talk about how evil and dark she was,” Natasha says. “It wasn’t even the case that she was a lesbian! It was really scary sitting there... and for a minute, it made me question if I was evil and dark because I liked females.”

The bullying and prejudice Natasha faced at her high school forced her to keep her sexuality a secret. At her school, she remembered that tormentors would accuse girls of being lesbians or “being butch” if they didn’t wear makeup, or accuse male students of being gay if they had high-pitched voices.

For Natasha and many other LGBTQ+ students, college was the first step to overcoming the sturggles she had faced in high school, though there weredifferent challenges ahead.

Overcoming it

“Being in college was my first step to finding a new normal,” Natasha says.

Natasha remembers coming out to a guy she used to date to keep up appearances, saying he went from being respectful of her to being a bully, suggesting lewd and inappropriate things that sexualized lesbian relationships.

“I remember that he texted all of his coworkers saying that I came out, and I just cried and cried,” she says. “It’s hard to be honest in relationships, which is something I’m overcoming in college, too.”

Natasha discovered new freedoms in college. She found an LGBTQA group on campus at the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh called HOPE whose members have been supportive of her. She highly recommends that other collegiettes who are facing similar difficulties about their sexuality seek out campus support, too.

“My close friends and the people I choose to associate with are accepting of me, and I’m a more honest person because of their acceptance,” Natasha says. “The more self-worth and self-confidence I have, the less worried I am about the bullies’ stereotypes and rumors.”

Part of the process of overcoming bullying is overcoming your own personal fears, which Natasha is doing in the college setting. Thankfully, she’s felt more accepted at college than she did in high school.

“Even now, I am careful about who I come out to,” Natasha says. “If I don’t stay careful, I may run the risk of my family finding out, and if they do, I would be kicked out of the house. I’ve been comfortable at Oshkosh, though.”

Everyone overcomes bullying differently. Sometimes there’s no way to completely get over it, but there are ways to get better.

Changing it

Inspiring change in your campus community may be the first step to making a better world for yourself and the people around you.

Scheff also says bullying usually starts for children when they mirror authority figures, such as their parents, or maybe their older siblings. “Adults need to be in check with their own behavior, to start educating youth on peer cruelty,” she says.

Here are a few tips for how to create a better environment for the LGBTQ+ community on your campus and how to take those crucial steps to becoming bully-free:

1. Listen up

Listen to your friends’ problems and offer your support and encouragement. Whatever situation they’re going through, whether it’s overcoming a rough day at work or a bully in class, it’s important that you listen attentively and earnestly.

2. Live your attitude

Don’t be the girl who says you accept anyone, no matter their differences, and then make mean comments about someone’s behavior or personality later. Mean what you say! Being accepting isn’t that hard if you give it an honest try. Attitude changes don’t happen overnight, sure, but they’ll never happen if you don’t try to make them happen.

3. Advocate

If you feel strongly about an issue, do something about it! In this case, we hope it’s advocating against bullying against LGBTQ+ students on your campus. Check out your campus’s LGBTQ+ support group, or hey, maybe even create your own. Make Pride Week or Anti-Bullying Week “a thing” on your campus and get people involved.

 

Whatever you do, collegiettes, make your attitudes strong and your actions stronger. Speak out against bullying and stand up for the LGBTQ+ community!

* Name has been changed.

How to Avoid Being the Jealous Girlfriend

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Do you get the urge to sneak a peek at the screen when your boyfriend’s phone goes off?  Do you call your girlfriend every hour, just to check where she is? Do you scroll through your SO’s Facebook page in your spare time to check out his latest tagged photos?

Alert! You might be that jealous girlfriend. Although devoting your undivided attention (and then some) to your significant other may seem like a sure way to establish a great relationship, this overbearing behavior can send a happy couple on the fast track to heartbreak. It may be hard to kick the habit, but getting over your jealousy and learning to trust your boyfriend or girlfriend is the key to a strong, healthy relationship. Her Campus talked with Dr. Jane Greer, relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship ,to figure out how to avoid being the jealous girlfriend and how to use all that anger to spice up your relationship instead!

1. Let your SO go out with his or her friends.

If you’re jealous, you may start to feel possessive. You may not want your SO to spend time with others because you’re afraid he may be lying about where he’s going, or you worry he may run into another girl.

According to Dr. Greer, some signs of jealousy include starting to check your SO’s phone for text messages, drilling your partner with questions about where he or she is going even if he or she already told you all the details and getting upset and feeling rejected if he or she doesn’t want to spend time with you. You may accuse your SO of seeing other women when he claims to be “out with the guys,” feel offended that he would rather spend time with his friends than with you or claim that his friends are a bad influence on him. In turn, you more or less start to hold him hostage, coming up with excuses to be around him all the time, or calling him and claiming to have an “emergency” that requires him to come to you right away.

Real Live College Guy Dale says his ex was guilty of this.

“To start, according to her, I wasn't ‘allowed’ to have friends,” he says. “I was more than supportive of her going out with her friends (guys included), but the second I wanted to hang out with my guy friends for a night, she was certain that I was up to something,” which lead to their breakup. 

Give your man some time to let off some steam, play video games, drink beers, go golfing, play poker or do whatever it is that guys do in their free time. Rather than thinking of all the things your boyfriend could possibly be doing while he’s out without your supervision, take this new free time to go and hang out with your girlfriends as well. Couples quickly forget that they don’t have to spend 24/7 with each other, and a breather to just go and relax with your BFFs makes for a great (and long) night when you come back home and realize how much you missed each other while you were apart (wink, wink).

2. Check your boundaries.

There’s a time and place for GPS tracking. Save the mad-scientist locating devices for sci-fi movies and automobiles – not your SO. Following him to work? Hacking her Facebook and e-mail? Showing up unexpectedly a little too often? While you may think tracking your SO’s every move will keep him or her close, it’ll actually push him or her farther away. “Do not keep checking up on or react to his actions and behaviors,” Dr. Greer says. “Instead of being negative and critical about what he’s doing with other people, focus instead in a positive way on what you want more of with him!”

Find a way to plan time together that won’t make him or her feel smothered. Dr. Greer recommends a simple approach, such as saying, “I understand you want to go out tonight, but it would be great if we could spend more time together. Let’s set aside a day to spend together this weekend.”

Tell you SO how you feel about him spending time with other people, but also acknowledge that you understand that he needs his space and that you only feel this way because you’re so into him. However, don’t forget that mystery is always sexy, and not knowing every little detail of what your significant other is doing can actually add to your chemistry. 

3. Focus on yourself.

So what if the girl who just walked by has platinum-blond hair, big boobs and mile-long legs? You have a boyfriend, and no matter how much he looks at her, he’s coming home to you. If you can’t contain the jealousy, Dr. Greer advises to use the envy in a positive way. “Don’t let it heighten your insecurity,” she says. “Let it heighten your confidence.”

Take some alone time to indulge in yourself. Work out at the gym, get a mani/pedi, cut your hair – shake things up! Rather than looking at everything you lack, do things that make you happy, give you a nice boost of self-assurance and challenge you to stop thinking about everything you’re unhappy about.

“Focus your energy not only on yourself, but also on having a fun relationship!” Dr. Greer says. “Then, you won’t worry about him having to stray.” If you’re happy and comfortable with yourself, you can be happy and comfortable with your boyfriend (who, sadly, probably won’t notice the haircut or freshly painted nails, but will be totally turned on by your newfound confidence).   

4. Know how to communicate.

Get on the same page! Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, and people can’t read our minds. Although it’s not a good idea to complain about every little thing your SO does, it is important to let him or her know if something he or she is doing makes you upset.

“I think the best way to avoid being the ‘jealous girlfriend’ is to communicate with your partner,” Dale says. “No one talks anymore; they resort to passive-aggressive status updates and situations like, ‘What's wrong? 'Nothing.' If you have concerns or if you're jealous, then you need to speak up. Otherwise, your partner isn't going to understand what went wrong in the first place, and assumptions/misunderstandings frequently lead to breakups.” 

Relationships take work! If you want more PDA or a simple, “Hey, you look fabulous” every once in a while, say so. If you want to save it for the bedroom, let him know. “Keep focused on what you want more from your significant other, and convey it in a playful and positive way,” Dr. Greer says.

“Hey, babe, I really enjoyed that dinner date we had last week. I would love to get dressed up and go out with you more often,” works a lot better than “You only take me out like once a week. Why are you acting so cheap and who are you spending your money on?!” Remind your SO that you’re happy in the relationship, and you just want to take care of a problem before it gets out of hand and causes the relationship to fall apart.

Also keep in mind that communication works two ways, meaning that you need to sit down and talk (not yell) things out and hear your SO’s concerns and needs, too! There’s a difference between sorting out a problem and simply criticizing every little thing that’s not going your way. Don’t lay everything out on the table at once; concentrate on one thing at a time, and then tie it back to the bigger picture. In the end, it should always be about the two of you and how you are going to get through things together.

5. Embrace the “T” word.

Say you’re out grabbing a bite to eat. Do you get angry if he gets chatty with the waitress when you’re ordering dinner? When he gets up to go to the bathroom and takes more than five minutes, do you start questioning him about where he was and what took so long? Do you accuse him of eyeing the girl at the table next to yours and storm off, leaving him staring after you with a blank and confused look on his face because he just wanted to ask the waitress about her day, the line at the bathroom was super long and the girl at the table next to yours distracted him because she had accidentally dropped something?

It’s time to embrace the “T” word: trust. Trusting your partner is just as important as communicating with him or her. As soon as you realize that his or her intentions are always in your favor, the green monster will be banished and you’ll be on your way to a healthier, happier relationship!

Harvard undergrad Danai Kadzere says it best: “Ultimately, he's with you and no one else because he wants to be with you over being with anyone else. If he no longer feels that way, he'll end it (if he's mature), and you deserve to be with someone who really wants you!”

YOU are in control of your jealousy. While it’s a hard beast to tame, letting go is definitely doable, and it’s the key to being a happy couple. Rather than letting envy consume you and control the relationship, allow it to show you how invested you are in the relationship and turn your jealousy into love and affection. “Always focus on the positives!” Dr. Greer says.

Just don’t forget to listen to each other, give space when needed and take the time to work on yourselves individually as well as a couple! 

5 Ways to Stay Gorgeous in the Summer Heat

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Now that our time in the sun is finally upon us, we don’t want the heat to ruin our summer-goddess look! Whether you’re interning or on vacation, Her Campus and beauty vlogger Victoria Vargas (omgitsvictoriaXD) are here to save the day. Fight frizz and keep your makeup in place all day with these summer beauty secrets from the sassy beauty guru.

1. Use a primer

If you have oily skin, wearing makeup in the summer can be a nightmare. Whether you’re outdoors at the beach or interning in an office, the high temperatures can make your foundation melt quickly, which is never attractive.

“Primer is always a must for me, no matter the season,” Vargas says. “It's particularly more important in summer because it's so hot, and most foundation and other face products have a harder time staying on.”

Primers seal in your moisturizer and create a barrier between your skin and your makeup so no oils can get through. Apply a makeup primer before your foundation to keep the shine at bay, like Vargas’s favorites, Benefit Cosmetics The POREfessional ($31) and Rimmel London’s Fix & Perfect Pro Primer ($7.99).
 

2. Try waterproof makeup

Spending the day at the pool doesn’t have to mean going makeup-free. Unlike regular products, waterproof makeup lasts through swimming, sweating and all the rest of your summer activities.

“It's so important to have waterproof eye products, especially if you plan on being in the water and don't want to come out looking like a raccoon,” Vargas says.

 Prestige Cosmetics’s waterproof eyeliner ($5.49) and Vargas’s tried-and-true pick, L’Oreal’s Voluminous Million Lashes Waterproof Mascara  ($8.99), prevent smudging and smearing, making them great summer choices.

3. Blot away sweat

If you notice some shine on your T-zone (your forehead, your nose and the area around your mouth) during your lunch break, try a blotting sheet before you touch up your makeup.

“I absolutely LOVE oil blotting sheets!” Vargas says. “Of course, my favorites are my Clean & Clear Oil-Absorbing Sheets ($5.99). Before I touch up my foundation with powder, I have to use my oil-blotting sheets, because you never want to put powder over oil or sweat.”

These absorbent sheets remove oil, sweat and dirt without ruining your look. Keep them in your purse for a quick pat anytime, anywhere.

4. Fight frizz

Summer humidity can dry out your hair, causing frizz and breakage. Victoria keeps her relaxed tresses smooth by wrapping her hair at night (check out her tutorial ), but not without moisturizing with Chi Silk Infusion ($24.50) beforehand.

If you hair is extremely dry, try the moisturizing duo of leave-in conditioner and hair spray. Spray It’s a 10 Miracle Leave-In Product ($17.99) on towel-dried hair for added hydration during the summer months. It’s packed with ingredients that smooth hair cuticles, moisturize your hair and even protect your hair from hot tools. After styling your hair, finish with a hairspray like One ‘n Only Argan Oil Hairspray ($11.99) to tame flyaways and achieve a sleek look.

5. Spay your fragrance on your pulse points

You love your body splash, but by midday, the scent fades. Sue Phillips, the owner of The Scentsorium, a custom fragrance studio in New York City, says your pulse points (your neck, your elbows, your ankles and behind your ears) generate more heat than other parts of your body, diffusing the scent.

“I apply my perfume in spots that won't rub off easily, like the nape of my neck,” Vargas says. “Also, you can use a shower gel and lotion similar to your perfume, and that'll give your perfume an extra kick.”

 

Don’t let your looks suffer this summer! Conquer the heat with these tips for your best beauty look yet.

A Collegiette's Summer Bucket List

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This summer is going to be sweet. It’s going to be unforgettable. You don’t know how or when or with whom, but you’re going to do something magnificent. Before the last lingering dregs of August have dried up and you must return once again to that peculiar place hundreds of miles away where they lecture at you and grade you and make you do all these things you don’t want to do, you’re going to spend this summer doing only the things you truly desire to do.

Before your summer kicks the proverbial bucket, you’re going to check off those boxes on that list you’re making to confirm that yes, you finally did that thing in that place with those people that you’d been wanting to do forever, and boy, did you do it right. So whatever your summertime goals may be, here’s a little inspiration to get you going.

summer sports outside activity tennis athlete

Learn how to play that sport you’ve always wanted to play. You’ve always wanted to know how to play tennis. Or perhaps for you, it’s golf. Maybe you’re just looking for an excuse to get the country club pro's arms around you, guiding your swing as he whispers sweet, sweet nothings into your ear like, “I don’t think you’re getting it,” and “your putt is crap.” Sigh. So, whatever the reason, go get 'em girl. Leave it all out there on the court—or whatever those sporty types say.

Read a great classic novel. You’re not fulfilled flipping the pages of that flimsy tabloid and you know it. In red, caps-locked lettering, its cover proclaims: “WORST BEACH BODIES OF 2014,” and you hate yourself vehemently for the intrigue it incites. Your literary heart is empty, and you must fill it only with something truly substantial. Will it be War and Peace? Anna Karenina, perhaps? Oprah featured the latter in her book club, and you’d never deny an endorsement by Lady O. And hey, if you prefer American lit to that of Russia, re-read some Fitzgerald and drop lines of his work at the next particularly Gatsbian party you attend, you wild West-Egger, you.

eiffel tower couple paris romance date

Actually take that trip you’ve wanted to go on for, you know, ever. Every morning when you wake up, you open your tender eyes to the same 8x10 black and white poster of that couple kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower. You tacked it on your ceiling during that Francophile stage you had senior year of high school. The truth is, you have no idea who that couple is, and you’ve never actually seen the Eiffel Tower in the flesh, and both of these things make you really, really, desperately sad. So change that. Check out flights. Go there alone. Go there with friends. Just do it.

Make a dream board. Remember when The Secret by Rhonda Byrne came out and every celeb was all, “OMG, this book is everything!”, so then everybody else was all, “OMG, this book is everything!”? And maybe you don’t buy into the book’s claim that you can get anything you want by simply hoping for it, but Byrne does tout the merits of one DIY your creative heart can’t turn away: an inspiration board. When it’s all complete, you’ll hang it on your bedroom wall, stare at it every day, and practically hear it ask: “Here are your dreams: glued, cut, layered, decorated, and arranged to perfection. What are you doing to reach them?”

hot air balloon

Go up in the air. Will it be a hot air balloon or a hang glider? Skydiving or a little cliff jumping at your friend’s cottage on the lake? It doesn’t matter how; you just need to get your feet off the ground. It’s hot down here. It’s humid and it’s muggy, and have you seen what happens to your hair when you lay out long in this climate? Find a pilot and seduce him, if you must. Just get up and into the sky and find a way closer to that fine, clear air you’re so crazy about.

Do something bad. You’re so good. You’re too good. You’re good all the time, and frankly, you’re bored. Something’s lacking. So be a little bad. Spike your morning orange juice with champagne. Go skinny dipping at midnight off the pier. Take a pole dancing class. Put streaks in your hair. Get that piercing you’ve wanted forever (just do it professionally, please!). Go braless at least biweekly, and flash your city from a rooftop terrace that isn’t your own.

road trip happy girl free spirit

Road trip somewhere. You don’t have to go that far if you don’t feel like it; just go as far as the playlist you doctored for the trip takes you. Open the windows. Open the sunroof. Flip a coin when you reach a fork. Heads you go right; tails you go left. If you’re too type A for that uncertainty, map out a route and go for miles. If you’re really ambitious, tackle Route 66. Go all Jack Kerouac in your parents’ minivan and drive into the sunset. Or hey, if you only have a free afternoon, just skip the town limits and get back before dinner.

painter girl art painting

Paint a canvas. You’re not really an artist. You’re not really sure you even know how to handle a paintbrush; the last thing you got artsy with was a galloping paint-by-number chestnut stallion in grade school. You have no idea what you’re doing, but you’re going to figure it out as you go, and you’re going to figure it out with liberal globs of neon oil paint. Are you painting a flower? A face? A frankfurter? You’ll never tell. If people don’t get your abstractions, they’re not deep enough to understand (you’re not sure you necessarily know what you’re painting either, but whatever). The concept of “good art” is so regressive, anyway. You’re above judgment, so go ahead and get messy.

Be a kid. Climb trees. Scrape your left knee on the bark on the way down and forget about it until later. Wrap it up in Barbie Band-Aids when you finally remember. Jump through a sprinkler in your clothes. Eat so many Creamsicles you stain your lips orange and look kind of weird. Screw your summer job and sell lemonade on your front lawn. Rope swing into a pond and shriek all the way in like you’re five years old and hate getting wet, and oh my god, do you have any idea the kind of fishes in there that might eat you?!

Disconnect. Turn off your cell phone. Shut down your Macbook. Take the batteries out of your pager, if you’re still living in 1999. Stop being so plugged-in all the time. Stop checking your email and unsubscribe from at least half of the newsletters clogging your inbox (except Her Campus Study Breaks, obvi). And when you’re done disconnecting, reconnect with nature. Go hiking without a GPS in your pocket. Stop asking if there’s “an app for that.” Maybe there is, but you can manage without it.

summer fling love couple relationship

Have a summer fling. You’re looking for love—but only four months’ worth of it. You want someone to stroll along the boardwalk with and stay up with all night with watching the sun set and then rise again. You want someone to pick you up and toss you into the pool and then you can water gun them down with a Super Soaker in revenge. You don’t need 50 Reasons, you just need to go for it now while the temperature’s still hot—and so are the boys.

So go out there and be somebody, kid, ‘cause it’s only the summer for so long and you’ve gotta strike while the fruit’s still ripe, the sand’s still warm, and the days are still long.September will come eventually, but the summer is still young; what are you going to do with it?

11 Crazy-Inspirational Kanye West Quotes

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Love him or hate him, there's no denying that Kanye West is a symbol of our generation. If you could use an emotional pick-me-up, check out these inspirational (?) quotes from the man of many words.

1. "When someone comes up and says something like, ‘I am a god,’ everybody says, ‘Who does he think he is?’ I just told you who I thought I was. A god. I just told you. That’s who I think I am."

2. “For me to say I wasn’t a genius, I would just be lying to you and to myself.” 

3. "I am Warhol! I am the number one most impactful artist of our generation. I am Shakespeare in the flesh. Walt Disney. Nike. Google. Now who's going to be the Medici family and stand up and let me create more?" 

4. "Come on now! How could you be me and want to be someone else?"

5. "When I think of competition, it's like I try to create against the past. I think about Michelangelo and Picasso, you know, the pyramids."

6. "I hate when I'm on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle."

7. "I am so credible and so influential and so relevant that I will change things."

8. "I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it."

9. "My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live."

10. "You can’t look at a glass half full or empty if it’s overflowing."

11. "I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice."

6 Tips for Managing Your Money After Graduation

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As glamorous as Macklemore makes it sound, popping some tags with only 20 dollars in your pocket probably isn't a financial situation you ever want to be in. Being a billionaire, buying all of the things you never had and smiling next to Oprah and the Queen on the cover of Forbes magazine is more like it. While we can't promise that you'll become the next billionaire after reading this article, we can make sure that you're headed in the right direction and getting into good money-managementhabits so you can handle your finances after graduation with no problem. Check out these six things you should know about money by the time you graduate!

1. Budgeting is key

Trust us, budgeting is definitely not overrated. In fact, it's the best way to manage your finances, hands down. You can start practicing budgeting right now while you're still in college. Basically, budgeting is creating a plan to spend your money. It ensures that you'll have enough money for things that you need and keeps you away from debt.

"Don't let others budget for you—only you know what your personal necessities are," says Reyna Gobel, author of CliffsNotes Graduation Debt. "For instance, I need my lattes and budget for them. Someone else may budget for magazines or expensive makeup. Your needs are not subject to anyone else's opinion as long as you can pay for them."

In order to budget your money effectively, always balance your expenses with your income. Write down monthly income sources, including parental allowances and wages, and your estimated expenses for the month, including food and personal-care items.

And as much as you don't want to think about your loans, you can't pretend like they don't exist when you're allocating your budget.Student loanswill likely be a burden to you and your bank account for years after you graduate, so make sure to factor paying off loans into your monthly budget, says Beverly Harzog, credit-card expert and author of Confessions of a Credit Junkie.

"Your loan is an investment in your future, so try to think of that as a good type of debt,” Harzog says.

Gobel suggests putting off picking a student-loan-repayment plan until after you've been out of school for at least two or three months. That way, you'll have had time to try out different amounts of loan repayment with your monthly budget and figure out what payment size you can actually handle. You don't want to repay so much that you feel like you don't have enough money left for your other expenses, but you also want to pay off those debts as soon as possible to avoid crazy interest rates. Try to find a balance between the two. After two or three months have passed, have in mind an appropriate monthly amount for loan repayment and then choose the repayment plan you know you can handle.

A lot of great budgeting apps are literally right at your fingertips. The iPhone app iReconcile comes with a budget tracker tool that allows you to set up daily, weekly, monthly and yearly budgetsMoneyWiz and Level Moneyare also apps than allow you to create custom budgets. By sticking to your own personalized plan, you'll be on your way to successfully managing your own budget.

2. Spend less than you earn

It's a simple matter of mathematics, or so it seems. Spending less than you earn is, surprisingly, a lot easier said than done.

"It's really important that graduates embrace the idea of spending less than you earn," Harzog says. "This simple rule will help you stay out of debt. But to practice this rule, you also need to have a budget in place and track spending."

One way to make sure you're spending less than you earn is to automatically put a certain amount of your income into your savings account every month and not touch it. That way, the money that you put away is out of your reach and you won't be tempted to use it. The rest of your paycheck can then be budgeted and spent accordingly, but it's nice to know that you'll always have an emergency stash of money in the bank that will hopefully just keep growing and growing, but can also be taken out in case of emergencies (and no, a really great sale at the mall is not an emergency).

3. Track your spending

Little purchases can certainly add up as much as big purchases. Those extra lattes every morning or the occasional splurges on makeup that seem to happen on every shopping trip have a way of making a dent in your bank account, don't they? They're sneaky, but you can be sneakier! By tracking your spending and making sure to budget for the extra expenditures you know you can't resist, you'll be able to fend off any surprise hits to the bank account courtesy of these little purchases.

"I never got into trouble in college from buying big items—it was always a cumulative effect of small items that eventually added up to hundreds," Gobel says. "Thus, it's important that college students stick to a budget but all also treat it like it's a living organism. In other words, budgets change as your needs, wants and financial understanding changes."

Get into the habit of tracking your spending regularly, like once a day or once a week. Maybe you like taking a few minutes before you go to sleep every night to go through your receipts and track your spending. Or maybe you like to give yourself a chunk of time one day a week to get your records all up to date. See what works for you and make a commitment to stick to it, leaving yourself reminders if you need to.

To help track spending, Harzog suggests using free online money management software or a smartphone app. "It's helpful to see how much you spent and where you spent it," she says. "You also need to know how close you are to your budget for a category." For example, if your clothing budget is $100 per month and you've already spent $97 this month, you should think twice about taking another weekend trip to the mall.

Harzog herself, along with her children, uses the online personal finance management tool Mint. Other popular tools include Quicken and AceMoney, although both cost money and require you to install them on your computer. Harzog recommends Mint for people who are more visually inclined because you can see your budget in pie charts and graphs. Plus, it's free and doesn't require installation. By choosing software that works with your style, you'll be able to easily create and stick to your budget and track your expenses.

4. Use—don’t abuse—credit cards

Those banks keep sending you persuasive mail about the latest credit cards that you have to have, and those shiny, beautiful, magical cards keep calling your name! No more cash? A swipe here. Not a lot of money left in the bank? Another swipe there. And while college is a great time to start building credit, it's also easy to get carried away and incur a huge amount of debt because, well, credit cards are just so easy to use. Sometimes it's easy to forget that you have to pay all that money back eventually, plus interest if you’re late.

"One of the biggest mistakes is not tracking your spending on a credit card and then having to carry the balance for a few months, or worse, longer," Harzog says. "Don't use credit cards unless you're sure you will pay the bill in full by the due date. Paying interest expense is a terrible waste of your hard-earned money."

While it's important to start building a good credit history early, don't risk overextending. Make sure not to use credit cards unless you know you’re sticking to your budget and won't overspend. When you're about to buy something, ask yourself if you really need it. Thinking before you buy is so clichéd, but it works! Weigh the benefits of purchasing something now with waiting a little longer when you have some spare cash.

Speaking of cash, try not to use your credit card when you can use some bills instead, especially when you're making small purchases like snacks, groceries and restaurant bills. In fact, if you can, keep your credit cards in a safe place at home instead of in your purse 24/7; you'll find yourself saying "put it on the card" a lot less.

5. Pay on time and build good credit

When you gotta pay your bills, you gotta pay your bills. And on time, too. Such is the life of an adult. Otherwise, you'll waste money on late fees and your credit score will just keep dropping.

Credit score, you say? Pshh, big deal. But while your credit score seems like an innocent enough three-digit number, it's actually calculated from your credit report and used by lenders to determine your creditworthiness for everything from a car loan to an apartment rental, and it can affect the interest rate you're charged. It can also mean the difference between being denied or approved for credit.

"One of the most important things is to always pay your bills on time—all of them," Harzog says. "Even a late cell phone bill can get reported to the credit bureaus, and this can make your credit score drop like a rock. Having an excellent credit score will actually help you save money in many areas of your life, including health insurance, car loans, car insurance and more."

To help you pay your bills on time, try signing up for online bill pay if your bank offers it to save time and postage. With bill pay, you can actually tell the bank how much money you want to pay, to whom and when you want it taken out of your bank account. The bank then sends the money to the payee for you, just like that. You can also set up text or email reminders from banks and via budgeting software like Mint about due dates. Auto-pay is also an option, but try to avoid it if you have issues with cash flow, since you need enough cash in your account to cover an automatic payment.

6. Set financial goals and plan ahead

Have your eye on a new laptop? Want to save up for a vacation with your besties? Whether you're thinking big or small, it's never too early to start setting up financial goals for yourself.

"Having some goals will actually help you stick to your budget, and I'm not just talking about saving for retirement, though that's obviously important, but think about other big items, like buying a house someday," Harzog says. "And you can also have goals for fun things, too. If you want to take a vacation next year, save for that now so you can take the trip without going into debt."

In addition to striving for these long-term goals, it can also be useful to think ahead on a month-by-month basis. Especially if your income varies, like if you have tip income, always try to think at least one month ahead. "You don't want to be short on rent because tips were lower one month than another," Gobel says. "To incorporate this idea, stash any money beyond your average monthly tip amount in your checking account." This way you'll be okay the following month, even if tips are lower. Who knows, maybe you'll even have some money left over to save up for that new laptop or vacation!

Entering the real world as a new grad can be intimidating. On top of everything else, you'll have to manage your very own finances and bank accounts. Luckily, you're now armed with the basics of good money management and ready to put them to use!

Make a vow to yourself to follow the rules. "For instance, if you want to check your budget and your spending every day to make sure you're on track, then make a vow to do that," Harzog says. "Choose a time that works into your schedule easily so you don't just blow it off. Over time, good money habits, such as tracking expenses and paying bills on time, will become a part of who you are." You'll be managing your finances like a pro in no time!

Links We Love 6.22.14

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Why we’re loving Hilary Duff these days. [Your Tango]

What happened to Easy Bake ovens?! [Spoon University]

The 13biggestmyths about alcohol. [Greatist]

How to beproductive when your energy is gone. [The Muse]

A note to past and present graduates. [I Want Her Job]

What your Twitter bio says vs. what it means. [BuzzFeed]

#FelonCrushFriday became a thing due to Jeremy Meeks. [People]

More bad news for recessiongraduates. [The New York Times]

Summer bikinitrends. [Betches Love This]

New documentary explores the lives of an interesting pair of conjoined twins. [Jezebel]

 


Why You Should Think Twice Before Going Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, or Vegan

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I recently found myself eating dinner with friends at a macrobiotic, vegan, Japanese restaurant because it was the only place that could accommodate each of my friends' dietary restrictions. One cut out carbs years ago to lose weight, another is pursuing a vegan diet to stay thin. When my boyfriend asked for sugar with his tea, the waitress admonished him and offered all-natural maple syrup instead. Since when did diets become so complicated?

Using eating excuses to lose weight – like eating gluten-free regardless of whether you have Celiac Disease – is becoming a common practice on college campuses. We turned to Connie Diekman, Registered Dietitian, past president of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, and Director of University Nutrition at Washington University in St. Louis to learn more.

Do eating excuses lead to weight loss?

Eating excuses are popular on college campuses because they seem like a quick fix – just cut out a certain food group and bam, you'll be able to zip up your sorority formal dress again...right? Not quite. According to Diekman, “These diets will often lead to weight loss, but are the girls healthy once they've lost the weight? The answer, of course, often is no. They are missing some key nutrients. In addition, it is possible that they have lost muscle mass, not fat mass, so they might be a lower weight, but not a healthier weight.”

While the weight might come off for a short period of time, you're not likely to maintain your weight loss in the long run.

Why are girls choosing to diet this way?

When JoEllen, a recent grad of Tulane, wanted to lose ten pounds, she turned to the Internet for research. She discovered sources claiming that gluten and dairy caused weight gain and acne, the two body issues she struggled with most. Despite negative allergy tests to both gluten and dairy, she says, “I genuinely believed that these two products were the root of all my body issues. I even told a number of my friends that I couldn't go out to dinner since I 'found out' I was allergic to these products.” Although she maintained her diet for months, she never lost the ten pounds.

Of course, it's completely normal to try a low-carb or low-fat diet to drop a few pounds or to maintain your weight. And no one would ever criticize girls who exclude gluten, dairy, sugar, or any other type of food for medical reasons, such as Celiac Disease, lactose intolerance, or diabetes. But there does seem to be a trend of girls who have adopted these eating practices in order to lose weight drastically or revamp their whole lifestyle – these aren't girls looking to drop just five pounds.

Diekman, who consults college girls about nutrition on the Washington University in St. Louis campus, says, “As I see patients here on campus, there does seem to be an increase in girls who are using an acceptable diet – vegetarian being the big one – to justify their need to lose weight due to body image concerns.”

It's not just girls on college campuses who are eating this way. Open any tabloid and you'll see celebs praising their new diet du jour, whether it's Miley Cyrus cutting out gluten or Beyonce's famous Master Cleanse. Veganism, too, is taking Hollywood by storm. Lea Michele, Olivia Wilde, and even Betty White stick to vegan diets. Does their influence – and enviable bodies (hey, if we can look like Betty when we're ninety, we'll be happy!) – have something to do with college girls turning vegan?

“[The trend] also ties into what they see occurring with celebrities who try these diets and lose weight,” confirms Diekman.

What should you tell your friends?

For many girls, it's easier to adopt a certain eating excuse and stick to it rather than explaining to friends that they're trying to lose weight or that they're working on limiting certain foods, especially when dieting comes with a stigma. According to a 2012 survey by Glamour, thin women are viewed as “conceited” or “superficial” eight times as often as heavy women, “vain” or “self-centered” four times as often, and “bitchy,” “mean,” and “controlling” more than twice as often. Women are quick to judge others; it's no fun to get slapped with the “bitch” label just because you're trying to slim down.

Diekman explains, “Following a diet for a medical reason is much more acceptable than trying to lose weight when you don't need to.”

University of Virginia student Katrina adds, “It sounds obnoxious to say, 'I'm not eating carbs.' Sometimes, if I want to eat healthier in a restaurant, I'll tell them I'm gluten-intolerant because it's easier to say than, "I don't want any bread in my product.' It's like a politer way of dealing with the idea of cutting carbs out of your diet.”

It can be embarrassing to admit that the Freshman 15 got the better of you and that you're trying to diet. Offering a medical excuse – whether real or not – can cover up your efforts to diet and simply put the focus on healthy eating. Next time your friends ask why you're passing on ice cream, be straightforward but brief. There's the all-purpose, “I'm trying to eat healthier,” or you can get more specific:

  • “Carbs/dairy/sugar makes me feel sluggish.”
  • "I've always wanted to try going vegan. I'm not sure I'll stick with it, but I'm trying it for now.”
  • “I feel like I have more energy when I stick with healthier foods.” 

Are eating excuses a form of disordered eating?

Disordered eating is used to describe an array of eating behaviors that aren't quite severe enough to be considered full-blown anorexia or bulimia, but definitely aren't healthy, either. “There is no question that [eating excuses] often reflect disordered eating and can result in limited nutritional intake,” says Diekman.

The problem with this method of eating is that it's highly possible that, by removing one or more food groups from your diet, you're not taking in enough nutrients. According to Diekman, “College-age women need to meet their nutrient needs by consuming adequate whole grains, vegetables and fruits with the appropriate amounts of healthy fats, low-fat or fat-free dairy, and lean protein choices.”

How to do it the healthy way

While gluten-free and vegan diets can be excuses for disordered eating, that doesn't mean they aren't safe, legitimate diets in their own rights. “Vegetarian diets, including vegan can definitely be healthy if well-planned; the same applies to gluten-free,” says Diekman. She suggests consulting with a registered dietitian to learn how to safely balance a diet that excludes one or more food groups.

Nicole, a vegan and student at New York University, says, “I chose to go vegan after reading a book called Eat To Live last year. I found that when I cut out animal products and ate mostly green vegetables, fruits, beans, and nuts, I lost weight right away and felt so much better. But a word of advice: healthy veganism doesn't mean potato chips and starchy grains. It means more nutrient-dense, natural foods.” Nicole's diet is healthy and safe because she focuses on getting a wide variety of nutrients she needs – not because she's cutting out food groups for fun.

 

Regardless of whether you're a strict vegan or a strict potato chips-only kind of girl, it's crucial to take a good look at your eating habits and make sure you're taking in enough nutrients. You probably haven't looked at the food pyramid since middle school health class, but take another look. The updated pyramid is customizable to your height, weight, and lifestyle, and provides recommendations for how much of each food group you should be eating. If you're considering cutting out a food group – whether for medical reasons or simply to lose weight – you should talk to a nutritionist about creating a balanced diet.

9 Signs You're Piper From 'Orange is the New Black'

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She may be privileged, naive and a little bit crazy, but Orange is the New Black star Piper Chapman is as determined as they come. Read on to find out if you're actually soul sisters with our favorite blonde WASP!

1. You can be a little naive at times.

2. Sometimes you miss the big picture.

3. You can make the most of even the worst situations.

4. You always try to look for the positives.

5. You hate being ignored.

6. You're the queen of sass.

7. You're not one to admit your faults.

8. In general, you try to avoid conflict...

9. ...but once your tough side takes over, it's game on. 

How to Avoid Being the Jealous Girlfriend

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Do you get the urge to sneak a peek at the screen when your boyfriend’s phone goes off?  Do you call your girlfriend every hour, just to check where she is? Do you scroll through your SO’s Facebook page in your spare time to check out his latest tagged photos?

Alert! You might be that jealous girlfriend. Although devoting your undivided attention (and then some) to your significant other may seem like a sure way to establish a great relationship, this overbearing behavior can send a happy couple on the fast track to heartbreak. It may be hard to kick the habit, but getting over your jealousy and learning to trust your boyfriend or girlfriend is the key to a strong, healthy relationship. Her Campus talked with Dr. Jane Greer, relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship ,to figure out how to avoid being the jealous girlfriend and how to use all that anger to spice up your relationship instead!

1. Let your SO go out with his or her friends.

If you’re jealous, you may start to feel possessive. You may not want your SO to spend time with others because you’re afraid he may be lying about where he’s going, or you worry he may run into another girl.

According to Dr. Greer, some signs of jealousy include starting to check your SO’s phone for text messages, drilling your partner with questions about where he or she is going even if he or she already told you all the details and getting upset and feeling rejected if he or she doesn’t want to spend time with you. You may accuse your SO of seeing other women when he claims to be “out with the guys,” feel offended that he would rather spend time with his friends than with you or claim that his friends are a bad influence on him. In turn, you more or less start to hold him hostage, coming up with excuses to be around him all the time, or calling him and claiming to have an “emergency” that requires him to come to you right away.

Real Live College Guy Dale says his ex was guilty of this.

“To start, according to her, I wasn't ‘allowed’ to have friends,” he says. “I was more than supportive of her going out with her friends (guys included), but the second I wanted to hang out with my guy friends for a night, she was certain that I was up to something,” which lead to their breakup. 

Give your man some time to let off some steam, play video games, drink beers, go golfing, play poker or do whatever it is that guys do in their free time. Rather than thinking of all the things your boyfriend could possibly be doing while he’s out without your supervision, take this new free time to go and hang out with your girlfriends as well. Couples quickly forget that they don’t have to spend 24/7 with each other, and a breather to just go and relax with your BFFs makes for a great (and long) night when you come back home and realize how much you missed each other while you were apart (wink, wink).

2. Check your boundaries.

There’s a time and place for GPS tracking. Save the mad-scientist locating devices for sci-fi movies and automobiles – not your SO. Following him to work? Hacking her Facebook and e-mail? Showing up unexpectedly a little too often? While you may think tracking your SO’s every move will keep him or her close, it’ll actually push him or her farther away. “Do not keep checking up on or react to his actions and behaviors,” Dr. Greer says. “Instead of being negative and critical about what he’s doing with other people, focus instead in a positive way on what you want more of with him!”

Find a way to plan time together that won’t make him or her feel smothered. Dr. Greer recommends a simple approach, such as saying, “I understand you want to go out tonight, but it would be great if we could spend more time together. Let’s set aside a day to spend together this weekend.”

Tell you SO how you feel about him spending time with other people, but also acknowledge that you understand that he needs his space and that you only feel this way because you’re so into him. However, don’t forget that mystery is always sexy, and not knowing every little detail of what your significant other is doing can actually add to your chemistry. 

3. Focus on yourself.

So what if the girl who just walked by has platinum-blond hair, big boobs and mile-long legs? You have a boyfriend, and no matter how much he looks at her, he’s coming home to you. If you can’t contain the jealousy, Dr. Greer advises to use the envy in a positive way. “Don’t let it heighten your insecurity,” she says. “Let it heighten your confidence.”

Take some alone time to indulge in yourself. Work out at the gym, get a mani/pedi, cut your hair – shake things up! Rather than looking at everything you lack, do things that make you happy, give you a nice boost of self-assurance and challenge you to stop thinking about everything you’re unhappy about.

“Focus your energy not only on yourself, but also on having a fun relationship!” Dr. Greer says. “Then, you won’t worry about him having to stray.” If you’re happy and comfortable with yourself, you can be happy and comfortable with your boyfriend (who, sadly, probably won’t notice the haircut or freshly painted nails, but will be totally turned on by your newfound confidence).   

4. Know how to communicate.

Get on the same page! Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, and people can’t read our minds. Although it’s not a good idea to complain about every little thing your SO does, it is important to let him or her know if something he or she is doing makes you upset.

“I think the best way to avoid being the ‘jealous girlfriend’ is to communicate with your partner,” Dale says. “No one talks anymore; they resort to passive-aggressive status updates and situations like, ‘What's wrong? 'Nothing.' If you have concerns or if you're jealous, then you need to speak up. Otherwise, your partner isn't going to understand what went wrong in the first place, and assumptions/misunderstandings frequently lead to breakups.” 

Relationships take work! If you want more PDA or a simple, “Hey, you look fabulous” every once in a while, say so. If you want to save it for the bedroom, let him know. “Keep focused on what you want more from your significant other, and convey it in a playful and positive way,” Dr. Greer says.

“Hey, babe, I really enjoyed that dinner date we had last week. I would love to get dressed up and go out with you more often,” works a lot better than “You only take me out like once a week. Why are you acting so cheap and who are you spending your money on?!” Remind your SO that you’re happy in the relationship, and you just want to take care of a problem before it gets out of hand and causes the relationship to fall apart.

Also keep in mind that communication works two ways, meaning that you need to sit down and talk (not yell) things out and hear your SO’s concerns and needs, too! There’s a difference between sorting out a problem and simply criticizing every little thing that’s not going your way. Don’t lay everything out on the table at once; concentrate on one thing at a time, and then tie it back to the bigger picture. In the end, it should always be about the two of you and how you are going to get through things together.

5. Embrace the “T” word.

Say you’re out grabbing a bite to eat. Do you get angry if he gets chatty with the waitress when you’re ordering dinner? When he gets up to go to the bathroom and takes more than five minutes, do you start questioning him about where he was and what took so long? Do you accuse him of eyeing the girl at the table next to yours and storm off, leaving him staring after you with a blank and confused look on his face because he just wanted to ask the waitress about her day, the line at the bathroom was super long and the girl at the table next to yours distracted him because she had accidentally dropped something?

It’s time to embrace the “T” word: trust. Trusting your partner is just as important as communicating with him or her. As soon as you realize that his or her intentions are always in your favor, the green monster will be banished and you’ll be on your way to a healthier, happier relationship!

Harvard undergrad Danai Kadzere says it best: “Ultimately, he's with you and no one else because he wants to be with you over being with anyone else. If he no longer feels that way, he'll end it (if he's mature), and you deserve to be with someone who really wants you!”

YOU are in control of your jealousy. While it’s a hard beast to tame, letting go is definitely doable, and it’s the key to being a happy couple. Rather than letting envy consume you and control the relationship, allow it to show you how invested you are in the relationship and turn your jealousy into love and affection. “Always focus on the positives!” Dr. Greer says.

Just don’t forget to listen to each other, give space when needed and take the time to work on yourselves individually as well as a couple! 

Her Story: My Sister Died of Alcoholism at 30

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If Céline had been conscious, she would have thought we looked ridiculous at her side, dressed in matching yellow hospital gowns and latex gloves. “Who among the four of you deemed it wise to impersonate an overgrown patch of dandelions?” she would have asked, one eyebrow raised in a feat of facial muscle control I could never master.

Had she been conscious, she would have seen me swallow as I tried to contain my involuntary response—one of too unsympathetic repulsion—to her appearance. Even after years, I was embarrassingly unaccustomed to the physical manifestations of cirrhosis: green skin, bloated midsection, flaps of flesh hanging from atrophied arms. In my 30-year-old sister, the brilliant Columbia graduate turned Ph.D. Classics student turned teacher, these symptoms of advanced alcoholism were downright terrifying—only marginally less bearable than the clumpiness of her deep chestnut colored mane, washed too infrequently during I.C.U. stays, and the puke bucket by her side at all times.

But she was my sister.

She lay, comatose, unable to speak, let alone laugh; unable to appreciate our dandelion outfits; unable to learn, as I did, with unwarranted frustration, that our papery gowns were not a protective measure on her behalf, but necessary to reduce the risk that we might contaminate other patients with the E. coli bacteria threatening her defunct immune system. Other patients? I didn’t have the bandwidth or the will to worry about anyone else.

I was the last to arrive on Sunday, April 5th, 2009, the third consecutive day we all showed up to the hospital in Stamford, Connecticut since Céline first lost consciousness. Uncertain how long my sister would remain in a vegetative state, and how many forthcoming treks I'd have to make to the suburbs, I had originally planned to stay in the city that day. Did she have to collapse in Connecticut? I had that thought.

Towards the end, Céline spent most of her days in Staten Island, where she lived with her 73-year-old boyfriend (or “companion,” as Mom called him), Johnnie, in between prolonged hospital stays. Increasingly often, Johnnie, who always wore khakis and a safe colored shirt, would transport my sister to St. Vincent's Hospital in Manhattan’s West Village, which was conveniently close to my office. It was a habit of mine, in fact, to exploit Céline’s sickliness, telling sympathetic colleagues that I had to leave early or show up late because my sister was “having a procedure.” Words like “endoscopy” and "bloody vomit," when paired with “30-year-old sister,” are exceptionally effective when you need to weasel out of something, be it an hour of work, or a blind date. Naturally, my manipulative behavior was the theme of jokes between Céline and me.

“Thanks for being such a f*ck-up,” I’d say.

“No problem. It’s your soul,” she’d counter.

Evidence of my humanness pleased her.

At St. Vincent’s, I would sit with Céline while Johnnie trotted around outside, seeking food she could eat without regurgitating. Céline adamantly refused all hospital food, not because it was terrible (it was), but because spurning it with a dramatic, how-dare-you-suggest-I-eat-that expression was intrinsic to who she was.

"You plebeian!" she used to accuse me growing up, mocking my preference for pasta over Mom's home-cooked chicken cordon bleu or steak au poivre dishes. By her late teens, Céline could whip up a sauce béarnaise expertly and do things like flambé. But by her late 20s, Céline’s illness prevented her from digesting fancy food.

Meanwhile, through a relationship with a college boyfriend who introduced me to Quaaludes, cocaine, hallucinogenic chocolate mushrooms, and food, I’d cultivated a palate of my own. How I managed to avoid a serious recreational drug habit, I don’t know. Unlike Céline, though, I always knew when to say “no.” Maybe discipline was ingrained in me during my early years as a serious gymnast. Maybe self-control is hereditary, and Céline got f*cked out of a genetic trait. Maybe it has to do with consequences, or lack thereof. I experienced hangovers. Céline claimed she did not. But why did I get so lucky?

Truthfully, as time went on, I looked forward to hospital visits. I can’t say that I stopped by every day she was a patient, because I didn’t. I may have done the bare minimum. But those recurring stays had an upside: At the hospital she was sober, by way of saline solution drip and lack of access to alcohol. Never mind the backless robe that fell at unfortunate moments to reveal her sagging breasts, or the terrycloth booties that screamed I'm sick louder than any pair of socks could. In the I.C.U. she may have been a shell of herself—spans of Morphine-induced haze punctured by moments of half-clarity—but she was not drunk.

When it came to appointments on the outside, it was impossible to predict if my sister would show up, let alone if she’d be sober or drunk. I counted myself lucky to see her walk through the door of a coffee shop on time once, until I realized that she was too inebriated to stand up for more than 30 seconds. Eventually, Johnnie collected her wobbly a** and drove her back to Staten Island in his defective red hatchback. There, she slept off whatever quantity of raspberry flavored vodka she’d purchased, with whatever loose change she’d found, or stolen, at whatever liquor store she’d managed to pop into when unsupervised. Later, she’d awake to a threatening message from me, if Johnnie chose to relay it.  “Pull that shit on me again, and you’ll lose the right to talk to me—again,” I had instructed Johnnie to warn her. Did I have any other leverage?

Céline wouldn’t listen. Wouldn’t go to rehab. At least, she wouldn’t stay. And as an adult, she couldn’t be forced, plain and simple. The few times Céline agreed to undergo in-patient treatment, she manipulated whoever diagnosed her mental condition. Could I blame her? Recovery through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) requires recognition of a greater power—a notion that’s been anathema to Céline and me since I can remember. I’d laugh in the face of that sh*t just like she did.

Moments after reaching my sister’s bedside on April 5th, I witnessed the new foreboding symptom that had prompted my parents to demand my presence in Connecticut a third day in a row: incessant seizing. Random, impossible-to-watch-without-weeping convulsions had interrupted my late morning meeting with a college friend in Williamsburg; forced me to get on the train to Connecticut; caused my dad to part with characteristic composure in screaming at me over the phone.

"Get on a train now, Mélanie. I do not want to have to ask again. Now."

Death, when it looms, fosters unprecedented transformations. It also breeds love and quick absolution.

At the Stamford Hospital, I found my forgivable father grasping his eldest daughter’s hands to stop them from twitching near her chest. Mom flanked Céline’s face with her palms to prevent head shaking. My brother, Damien, clutched her ankles. Before all that uncontrolled movement, I stood, paralyzed. Perfectly ironic, right? That seizure lasted minutes. Throughout the afternoon, it happened again and again.  

It had been difficult enough to stand by the limp spinach noodle that was my sister for two days pre-seizing, monitoring her vital statistics. Those numbers, though I made little sense of them, were a welcome distraction from the tubes inserted down her throat—one charged with breathing, the other with sucking blood from her abdomen. The crevices between Céline’s straight white teeth, the sole physical trait about which she used to boast regularly, were blood stained. Was it best she’d never know this?

Come day three, the additional shock of unpredictable writhing was too much. I knew this had been coming.

But she was my sister.

Mélanie Berliet is the author of Surviving In Spirit: A Memoir About Sisterhood and Addiction. She has written for Vanity Fair, Elle, Cosmopolitan, New York Magazine, and the Atlantic, among other publications.

 

Do you have a story to share? Submit your story to Her Story!

How to Design Your Own Business Cards

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By now you've learned how important networking is for your future career, but all of your networking efforts might be futile if the people you meet can't contact you. That's why it's important to have business cards on hand! But making business cards can be tricky—so HC is here to answer all your questions, from what to put on the cards to where to buy them.

Where To Buy Your Business Cards

MOO: With MOO’s easy-to-use online design tool, you can design a one-of-a-kind card with your choice of colors, fonts, and images. You can even upload photos from your Facebook or Flickr. Choose from one of Moo's super-stylish templates or upload your own design.

Vistaprint:Vistaprint has one of the best deals around on business cards: If you use one of the site's simple, premade templates, the cards are free—you only pay for shipping! Even if you're feeling more creative and want to use a different template, Vistaprint’s premium business cards are pretty inexpensive, which is great for collegiettes on a budget. Using your own design or one of Vistaprint's premium templates, which are a bit more chic than their free designs, only costs $20 for 250 cards on their standard paper.

Overnight Prints: This site has more great deals and templates to choose from! You can also upload your own design or choose from a template with this site. The best part is, as the name suggests, if you order by 8 p.m., you can get these cards overnight if you need to. This should be your go-to website if you need your business cards by a specific date!

Zazzle: If you're looking for business cards that are specific to your career field, Zazzle is for you! This site offers hundreds of free templates for tons of industries from fashion to music to fitness and more.

Make your own: If you’re feeling ambitious and know your way around Photoshop, printing your own cards is possible, too. After designing your card, print the image on heavyweight cardstock and cut carefully along the edges. Check out HC’s detailed how-to for step-by-step instructions.

The Text

What exactly should go on your business cards? There are lots of things to consider, so we asked Sara Moore, a career center specialist at Des Moines Area Community College, for advice one what to include on a card. “In addition to their primary purpose—to share contact information—business cards can also communicate a great deal about the person who created them,” Moore says. “Business cards can reflect a job seeker’s industry, sense of style, level of tech-savvy, personality, and other things through their design and content. Keep in mind that the cards need to be a polished and professional representation of who they are and should also be appropriate for their industry/job target.” Check out her tips below

  1. Your name. This goes without saying, but make sure you put your name on the card! Your name should be the most prominent and noticeable element on the card. Make it stand out by using a bigger or bolder font.
  2. Your personal brand. If you’ve started your own personal branding, you can extend it on to your business card by using the same elements from your resume, website, or other professional materials. “One way I’ve seen students incorporate their personal brands into their business cards is by including personal logos, slogans, taglines, or favorite quotes that reflect their personality and/or job target,” Moore says. “These same elements can then be used on the student’s other materials so there is a consistent look/message being communicated across their various contact points.” Have your own logo or a tagline you always use? Make sure you put it on the card! If you haven't created a personal logo, now is a great time to try it.
  3. Your contact information. The whole point of a business card is to keep in touch, so make sure your contact information is correct and up-to-date. Include your cell phone number and a professional e-mail address. Of course, don't use the e-mail address you created in sixth grade (if it ends with @aol.com, forget it!). “I usually recommend using a personal e-mail address [as opposed to a school-issued e-mail address] because students will retain access to their personal e-mail accounts throughout school and beyond, they tend to check them more often, and they are sometimes easier to access than their school accounts,” Moore says. You might want to create an e-mail account to use solely for job searching and networking so that important professional messages won’t get lost among school-related or personal e-mails.
  4. Your personal website. If you have a personal website with an academic or professional focus, you can include the website's URL or a QR code on the card, Moore says. These websites are a great way for your connections to learn a little more about you. However, if the site is more personal in nature, it’s probably a good idea to exclude it.
  5. Your social media accounts. Putting links to your social media accounts on your business cards can be a good idea—but it isn't always necessary. Moore only recommends including social media accounts “if they contain professional or academic content that might further impress a potential employer.” For example, it's wise for aspiring photographers to include the URL to their Flickr profile so connections can find samples of their work. For collegiettes who are going into film or broadcast journalism, sharing your YouTube profile can help people get a sense of your talents. Include more social accounts like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram only if you use them in a professional way. “In general, students should always be careful about what they post online and who they choose to share information with,” Moore advises.
  6. A title. Once you have a job after graduation, your business card will likely have your job title. But collegiettes often have multiple part-time jobs, work on campus, or switch jobs in the summer. So what should you put for your title? Moore has seen many variations, which can be simple or creative. Here are a few options to consider:
  • Student
  • Current Student
  • (Your School) Student
  • (Your Major) Student
  • Future Leader in (Your Career Field)
  • Creative (Your Major) Student
  • Aspiring (Job Aspiration)

The Design

Your business card leaves a lasting impression, so make sure it represents you well. We asked Stephanie Shore, vice president of marketing for North America for MOO, for business card design tips. “Either go super-restrained or totally over-the-top. Anything else will be interpreted as average,” Shore advises. “A card should be memorable. Not only should it stand out in a stack of other cards, but it should add… to the impression given to the recipient. Every choice we make represents who we are, and how we want to be perceived.” Read on for more design tips!

Choose easy-to-read fonts

Trendy fonts may look fun on your screen, but when printed on a card, they might look childish, or they could be hard to read. Stick to a simple font that you know is legible. Both serif fonts (the ones with flourishes on the ends, like Times New Roman) and sans serif fonts (the ones with straight ends, like Helvetica) can work, though they convey different messages. “There are countless serif fonts, and all of them communicate a classical and safe personality,” Shore says. “Conversely, the sans serif style communicates modernity and strength, possibly a degree of risk or a nontraditional way of doing things.”

Most importantly, the text needs to be large enough to read. Shore suggests making it at least eight-point in a readable color. “Anything smaller than eight-point may look fine on your monitor, but may appear as a fuzzy, smudged-out line when printed,” she says. The most important information can be highlighted in a bigger font or in bold.

Use color wisely

Don’t be afraid of a little color! A pop of purple can make your card stand out and showcase your personality. Just don’t get too crazy with color—Shore says you can use up to three complementary and aesthetically pleasing colors. “A mish-mash of bright and bold colors may make your card stand out in a stack of 50, but it could be for the wrong reasons,” she says.

There are a few things to keep in mind when choosing your colors. Again, think about your personal brand. “Try to keep your color scheme consistent throughout your own media—website, Twitter, e-mail signature, etc.,” Shore says. Another factor to consider is the connotations of the colors you choose. For example, if you’re applying for a job in the NFL, a pink card might not send the right message, but in the fashion field, it would be fine. So don’t choose colors arbitrarily—use color with a purpose!

Include a photo (for some fields)

Putting an image on your business card can be a hit or a miss. Of course, it depends on your field of work. For example, Shore says that including a headshot is ideal for actors, models, real estate agents, and other jobs where your face is part of your personal brand. “If you’re a creative type, then your business card can double as a portfolio,” Shore says. For photographers, painters, fashion designers, and other artists, a picture of your work can show a sample of your talents and make you more memorable. However, use photos with caution: If the image doesn’t add anything to the card or your personal brand, it may seem out of place.

Consider the unconventional

Typically, business cards are printed horizontally on a 3.5-by-2-inch card. Choosing this size is a safe bet, especially if you’re going into business or another traditionally conservative field. But if you’re in a creative field, doing something unusual is acceptable. For example, Shore says printing the information vertically on a business card is a more contemporary style. You can also get an alternative look by ordering cards in a different size or shape, like a long, skinny rectangle, a triangle, or a square. Or, try using cutouts to make your card stand out. You could have a letter cut out in the middle or get rounded edges. In any case, there are tons of ways to make your business card extra special!

With these resources, you should be all set to order your new business cards. Next time someone asks you for your card, you can confidently hand it over!

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