Just last week Beyoncé stopped the world by announcing that she's expecting twins. Now another Hollywood heavy hitter can say the same. The Talk reports that George and Amal Clooney are having twins, too!
After years of wondering whether George would ever settle down, I thought seeing him happily married to Amal, who is not only a badass lawyer but also a fashion goddess, would be the highlight of my (and his!) life. But now we're going to be blessed with not one but TWO gorgeous, intellectual Clooney babies. I. Can't. Breathe.
The Talk is also reporting that the little bundles are due in June, so T-minus four months until the world is saved.
Today, February 9, is National Pizza Day. That means you should order a pie and eat it as fuel for online shopping (I apologize for being a bad influence), because you're going to want these pizza-themed fashion pieces in your life. Crust trust me.
1. Yo Sox Pizza And Beer Socks ($8.79 at BoxLunch)
After a series of bitter and tense confirmation hearings, Jeff Sessions was confirmed as Attorney General on Wednesday by a vote of 52 to 47 that essentially stuck to party lines, The New York Times reports.
Like so much else these days, the confirmation hearings highlighted the partisan divide in the Senate, with Republicans toeing the party line and the outnumbered Democrats doing their best to put up a fight. Throughout the process, Sessions was dogged by accusations of racism that stem from his time as a U.S. Attorney in Alabama. These same accusations kept him from being confirmed as a federal district court judge in 1986. This time around, however, it wasn’t enough to keep him from being elevated to one of the most powerful positions in the cabinet.
While Sessions’ confirmation was more or less expected, the fight leading up to the final vote took some dramatic turns, including the Republican-led vote to silence Massachusetts senator, Elizabeth Warren, after she tried to read a letter by Coretta Scott King that criticized Sessions for using “the awesome power of his office to chill the free exercise of the vote by black citizens.” Republicans cited the little-used Rule XIX which states that a senator may not “directly or indirectly, by any form of words impute to another Senator or to other Senators any conduct or motive unworthy or unbecoming a Senator.” The move sparked criticism from Democratic senators, as well as a backlash on social media, where Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s words—“She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless she persisted,"—became a rallying cry. #ShePersisted was trending on Twitter, as was #LetLizSpeak.
While Sessions’ supporters believe that his time as U.S. Attorney in Alabama makes him uniquely qualified for leading the Justice Department in these turbulent times, others find his confirmation cause for major concern. Sessions is well-known for his ultra-conservative politics and is expected to lead the charge in fighting for President Trump’s immigration policies. According to The New York Times, many Democrats and civil rights organizations fear that he will also undo the work of the Obama administration’s efforts to increase institutional transparency and accountability, such as in the case of police departments' racial biases.
There’s also a concern that Sessions may not be able—or willing—to stand up to Trump. While he insisted during his hearings that he would not be afraid to tell the president “no,” he was also one of Trump’s earliest supporters, which calls his objectivity into question. “It is very difficult to reconcile for me the independence and objectivity necessary for the position of attorney general with the partisanship this nominee has demonstrated,” California senator Dianne Feinstein told The Los Angeles Times before the vote.
Up first for Sessions will be defending Trump’s not-a-Muslim-Ban. The fight is expected to eventually make it to the Supreme Court.
The Gigi doll was created as part of the company's "Sheroes" series just in time for Gigi's Tommy Hilfiger Fashion Week show! The details on the doll are incredible: the facial features scream Gigi Hadid in every way possible (check out those eyebrows!).
Even though the ladies are technically diverse in their ethinicities, the magazine seemed to fail at representing all women. Some social media users commented on all of the models being a similar height and size, with Graham being the only exception, and all having light skin tones. That doesn't seem like diversity to me.
The magazine might have had good intentions with this cover shoot, but that didn't stop people from voicing their concerns on social media. One Instagram commenter wrote, “Vogue, you've been my favorite magazine since I first picked up an issue when I was 12. I’ve read every issue cover to cover and lived for the pages that you produce. I'm so bummed to see that you had an opportunity to be different and to be inclusive of ALL women and ALL body types, yet chose to put thin, size zero looking women on the cover to represent ‘all women.’ You had such a great chance here and I've never been more disappointed. I hope that in the future you'll finally start taking a chance on women that represent real bodies and real standards.”
Another went on to point out the slightly suspicious placement of Graham's arm (see how everyone else has their arms around one another?" and the incredible length of Hadid's arm (can a hand even stretch that far?!).
Woah woah... This #VogueCover ... photoshop gone wrong (Gigi's hand), trying to make Ashely look thinner (only one with hand down) & more pic.twitter.com/BsgDjrPlA8
Apart from the underrepresentation of all ethnicities and the Photoshop fail, there's still an obvious issue with this cover. If Vogue was trying to go for a "beauty revolution," why did they pick some of the same models that have graced their covers several times in the past? A true revolution would be breaking down some of the barriers we still see in the beauty and fashion industries, and would help pave a way for all people. Maybe next time, Vogue.
When Jane the Virgin began, I was a firm member of Team Rafael. Rafael was the father of Jane’s baby. He was her onetime crush who had popped back up in her life in the most telenovela of ways. Jane’s chemistry with Raf was off the charts, and that dreamy first kiss sealed the deal for me.
I was initially very opposed to the idea of Jane being with Michael, the man she had started out the series engaged to. He seemed like the typical nice guy, but I was turned off by his actions after finding out Jane was pregnant. The way he manipulated her into almost giving her baby to Petra and Rafael, even though he knew about their marital problems, was unforgivable.
I’m a sucker for a love triangle and usually choose sides without wavering. But when Jane boss Jennie Snyder Urman revealed that in Season 2 Jane would choose a man and stick with him, I figured I was going to have to live with it, whether the situation went my way or not.
Jane picked Michael, and at first I was upset. Once they were solidly a couple, their love story grew on me, though. From their playful nature to their tearjerker of a wedding, I was wholeheartedly on board with Mr. and Mrs. Cordero.
Then Michael was shot shortly after marrying Jane, and I panicked. I saw Jane and Michael’s pairing as one of the brightest spots in an already glowing show.
Since this cliffhanger left Michael’s life hanging in the balance for an entire five months, I had plenty of time to think about the show without him. I rationalized that I’d survive if he didn’t.
Michael did pull through, and I was surprised by my relief. It wasn’t so much that I wanted Michael to live—I just didn’t want him to die. Even when I longed for Jane to end up with Rafael, I didn’t want Michael to be erased from the show. I had hoped his fun, lighthearted presence could remain a part of this universe.
As Season 3 continued and Jane and Michael’s marriage grew stronger each week, I came to adore their relationship even more. Whether Jane was losing her virginity or Michael was trying out his stand-up comedy routine, this couple had legs. They were built to last.
So in this week’s episode, when Michael died suddenly of complications from being shot, I was devastated. Just when I thought he was safe, a permanent part of Jane’s world, he was gone.
It’s going to take me a long time to get over Michael’s death. I don’t know where the show is going from here, and I wasn’t always Michael’s biggest fan. But his absence—and the loss of Jane’s love-filled, happy marriage—will surely be felt.
It’s easy to let a foundation stain ruin your morning, and any kind of wine night is just an outfit waiting to be ruined – and don’t get us started on period stains. Luckily, some of these seemingly permanent stains are actually easily fixable with the right laundry know-how. Read on for seven common stain struggles and how to save your favorite pieces from them.
1. Sweat stains
You can officially stop throwing out your favorite white tops and shirts just because the armpits have turned a gross yellow color from sweat stains. Before washing, simply pre-treat the underarms of the shirt by spraying them with lemon juice. If the stain is particularly obvious, it’s also not a bad idea to scrub the area with a toothbrush to ensure none of the yellow color is left behind. After letting the lemon juice soak on the area for around 30 minutes, wash the shirt according to the directions on the tag.
Side note: if you’re looking to go a more preventative route, consider swapping your antiperspirant for an aluminum-free formula – it’s actually the aluminum in some deodorants that causes sweat to stain and turn whites yellow.
2. Wine
Wine stains during Monday night Bachelor viewing sessions happen – but don’t panic. The key here is to make sure that the stain isn’t allowed to sit on your clothes for too long before being treated. To get rid of a wine stain, combine three parts hydrogen peroxide to one part dish soap and apply it to the problem area. Just make sure to blot and never rub a wine stain, or you’ll risk sinking the stain even further into the fibers of your clothing.
3. Coffee
It’s basically a tragedy that two of our drinks of choice stain so badly, but luckily, there’s a miracle solution for removing coffee accidents just like there is for wine. First, wet the stain with warm water, and pour a teaspoon of baking soda over the affected area. Allow the baking soda to sit and treat the stain for as long as possible before washing the stained piece of clothing like you normally would.
4. Makeup
We all have that one shirt that we can’t manage to put on or remove without getting foundation all over the collar Every. Single. Time. If you wear a liquid foundation, hydrogen peroxide is the ideal quick fix here – work a few drops onto the stain with your fingers to get the stain out. For powder foundations, your best bet is a bit of regular laundry detergent and water applied to the stain.
If lipstick is the problem product that you can’t seem to wear without getting it everywhere, it can easily be cleaned with anything designed to fight grease or oil since it’s an oil-based product. Start by rubbing off any excess lipstick and wetting the stain. Follow with a drop of dawn rubbed into the area and allow it to sit for 15 minutes. Repeat the process until the stain is completely gone and the garment is ready to be washed.
Our least favorite time of month is already stressful enough already, and we don’t need to be spending hours in the laundry room trying to clean period stains out of our fave pairs of undies. (Because it’s always your cutest pair that gets ruined first, let’s be real.)
If the stain is still wet, immediately soak it in cold water. Next, rub the stain with bar soap. If the stained clothing is light colored, you can also dab it with a bit of hydrogen peroxide to remove any particularly stubborn areas.
Don’t freak out if you have to wait until the blood is dry to treat it, either. Instead, spray the stain with a pre-treatment stain remover such as Shout. Next, apply a small amount of ammonia diluted with water, and immediately launder the stained clothing afterward.
6. Grease
Your greasy guilty pleasure food and salad dressings don’t stand a chance! For any oil- based stain, sprinkle with baking soda and apply a dishwashing liquid that’s designed to remove grease. When you wash the piece afterward, wash it in the hottest water the tag will allow.
7. Deodorant marks
White deodorant marks on any and all dark clothing are pretty much inevitable – but there’s an easy fix you can do and still make it out the door on time. Just grab a dryer sheet (it can even be used as long as it’s completely dry!) and rub it on any white streaks or stripes. They’ll disappear immediately!
Accidents happen, and a stain doesn't have to mean the death of your favorite piece in your closet - with a few easy tricks you can make any piece look just like new!
In October 2016, Jerrod Blandino teased his Too Faced Summer 2017 collection. He first shared the Peanut Butter and Honey palette, and we’ve been waiting impatiently ever since. After twisting our fingers and thinking about the new Too Faced collection for so long... The wait is over, beauty addicts. No more enigmatic instagram pictures—we now have all the deets!
The makeup brand is launching new palettes, highlighters, brow pencils and liquid lipstick. And the whole collection launches March 9! So close, yet so far.
A photo posted by Jerrod Blandino (@jerrodblandino) on
"You Light Up My Life", "Blinded by the Light", and" Ray of Light" are so appropriately named. As a huge fan of the Sweet Peach Glow palette, I'm super impatient.
A photo posted by Jerrod Blandino (@jerrodblandino) on
This is glorious! Just look at these shades. This palette contains 30 shadows, which makes it the biggest Too Faced palette ever. And the packaging is SO pretty.
Peanut Butter & Honey Palette
Nine shades inspired by the sandwich, for the girl who loves food as much as makeup.
Chocolate Brow-nie
This is a brownie-scented pencil that literally has cacao powder as an ingredient. It tints and conditions arches for a natural look that lasts up to 12 hours.
New Melted Mattes
Your lips won't feel left out.
Save the date, makeup addicts! On March 9, these beauties could be yours. Everything but the Peanut Butter & Honey palette will be on toofaced.com! You can find the PB&H palette at ULTA.
In case you hadn't noticed, Gigi Hadid is one of the coolest supermodels on this planet. She looks fabulous wherever she goes, and also just casually got a Barbie doll in her image. Gigi is undeniably a badass, and her career keeps getting bigger and bigger. In one of her latest ventures, Gigi collaborated with Tommy Hilfiger on a clothing line, which was presented in a splashy fashion show in Venice, CA, on Wednesday, with celebs like Lady Gaga, Gigi's sister Bella and Fergie also in attendance. The pieces in this spring 2017 collection are mesmerizing—trust me, you’ll want everything from this ready-to-wear fashion show. See for yourself:
Valentine’s Day is coming up and you don’t have a date, but who cares? This Hallmark holiday is pretty overrated anyway. You’d much rather do something more useful (and less painful) with your time. Here are 19 better things to do than go on a date for Valentine’s Day.
1. Shave your legs
Then you can cuddle under your freshly dried sheets all by your damn self because who needs a valentine?
2. Get your period
You can lay in bed crying while eating all the Valentine’s Day-themed chocolate your hormonal self desires.
3. Have your wisdom teeth removed
You’d much rather be confused from laughing gas than from a date who sends mixed signals.
4. Retake your most difficult class
You’ll come across less obstacles with this than with trying to figure out a person.
5. Drink straight out of a handle
Better chance of getting drunk = better chance of forgetting Valentine’s Day.
6. Listen to Kidz Bop on repeat
This hurts less than getting your heart broken.
7. Play 16 squares
You’d rather get hooked on this than a crush.
8. Go to the gym
There’s a better chance of you fulfilling your New Year’s resolution of getting fit than actually getting a date.
9. Eat cereal without milk
This is just about how dry your phone is.
10. Run a race without practicing
You don’t need a crappy date to prove that you’re a failure.
11. Relive Election Day 2016
Watch the country slowly crash and burn, just like your love life.
12. Get lost without GPS
You have a better chance finding your way back on the right path than finding your way out of a horrible date.
13. Rub your eyes after doing your makeup
Better to have your makeup ruined than your dignity.
14. Wear heels for the rest of your life
This will be less painful than an awkward date.
15. Wear a bra
This is less annoying than Valentine’s Day.
16. Ruin your nails after a manicure
At least you can fix this, unlike the douchebag who asked you to be their valentine at the last minute because they had no one else left.
17. Buy a faulty curling iron
This can be taken back, unlike a day wasted on a Valentine’s Day date.
18. Have cramps
This is more bearable than someone confessing their love to you.
Let me start by saying, sitting in a courtroom was the last thing I thought I would be doing during a break from school. This whole thing started with my grandpa and me talking about possible careers that I could go into. I just posed the question “I wonder what it would be like to be a lawyer?” We talked about how hard you have to study and how long it takes to become a lawyer. The next day, my grandpa texted me and asked, “Sam, would you like to check out a court room?” I said “Sure! Sounds fun!” I must say, I have the most creative and awesome grandpa ever.
So, we arrived at the courtroom around 10:00 am. The courtroom was bustling with activity. The security men took our bags and put them through the metal detector. You could tell who the lawyers were by their suits and briefcases.
First, we went upstairs and walked into a district courtroom where arraignments were taking place. Arraignments, for those not addicted to Law & Order, are when the defendants are informed of the charges against them. There was the judge, sheriff and attorney in the room. The judge looked like the kind you see in the movies. She was an older, yet pretty white woman. She had her hair in a bun and her glasses rested on her nose. She seemed like a very tough, intelligent and professional woman. The kind of woman I’d aspire to be!
The judge was actually speaking to the prisoners through a web cam. I could see the prisoners in their orange jump suits on the TV screen. She discussed bonds, terms and conditions for pre-trial, and recommendations for them. Many of them could not afford a lawyer, were unemployed, on supplemental security income (SSI), or had a history of drug use. It showed me just how hard it is for people to get back on their feet once they get out of prison.
After seeing the arraignments, we decided to check out a different courtroom. This one was larger and looked like it was used for more serious offenses. It was the traditional courtroom you think of when you imagine one. The judge’s bench was in the center with tables for the counsel to the right and left of him. The bailiff stood against one wall to keep order. I was sitting in the separate group of seats where the public sits.
We waited for a little while and watched the lawyers prepare. A very upset woman approached the stand. She spoke Spanish so I listened to her translator. She began to cry as she explained what happened. Her boss had violated her and was putting cameras in the bathroom of the workplace. He was there and so were his wife and daughter. The judge found him guilty and sentenced him to 12 months in jail with a six-month suspension. He tacked on a two-year probation as well. I couldn’t believe I witnessed someone get sentenced to time in jail!
The main takeaway I got was that the courtroom would be a really interesting place to work. I think a law-related job would be exciting because you would see different cases every day. This experience has led me to research careers outside of just becoming a lawyer; I didn’t realize how many jobs there are that keep the entire courtroom running smoothly.
The atmosphere was tense, serious, yet exciting. I would say you have to put your emotions and beliefs aside with this kind of work. To be a lawyer, you may have to defend someone who you know is guilty. Being a judge would be difficult because of the decisions they must make. The decisions they make have permanent effects on people’s lives. However, we need the law and court system to keep society in order. This is not to say the criminal justice system is free from flaws. We need people that will work to make it better.
I’m not an expert and I only spent a small amount of time in the courtroom. However, it was a memorable experience and I’m glad I tried it. It sparked a new interest in the criminal justice system for myself and broadened my career choices. If you are interested in a certain field, I would challenge you to get some first-hand experience. It will help you find your passion and allow you to really envision yourself in that field. Always remember that you can be anything you want to be.
It's definitely hard to explain to other people what living in Kansas is like. When you tell someone you're from the Sunflower State, common responses include references to The Wizard of Oz, or "What do you even do there?" Kansas may not have mountains like Colorado or an ocean like California—but there are some things that come with the territory. Those who grew up here know the following to be true:
1. There is no middle ground when it comes to college sports
You're either raised a K-State or KU fan. Most of the time, you absolutely loathe the opposite team, too.
2. If you didn't have a pool, you were miserable all summer
You were so jealous of your friends that did (and spent most of your time at their houses).
3. Hot summers don't compare to the harsh winters
The only good part about all of the snow was getting days off from school.
4. Driving through the Flint Hills is the worst
So. Boring.
5. You know what the "Little Apple" is
"Where are you from?" "Manhattan." "Oh, New York? Wow!" "No, Kansas."
6. The parties you went to were straight out of a country music video
Bonfires, kegs, sitting on truck tailgates—you name it.
7. You know that harvest is the most important time of the year
Especially for your friends that had to help with it.
8. Unless you're from Johnson County
A.K.A. the Beverly Hills of Kansas.
9. Driving around and listening to music with friends was the best way to spend your weekends
Although, driving around did get old after looping the same five blocks over and over again.
10. You constantly have to explain that Kansas City belongs to both Kansas and Missouri
It's just too much city for one state, okay?
11. You've had a Cozy Inn burger
And loved it, of course.
12. And even though the Chiefs and Royals are in Missouri, you still rooted for them
Through the good and the (mostly) bad.
13. Worlds of Fun was your yearly family vacation
Worlds of Fun one day, Oceans of Fun the next.
14. Facebook is flooded with sunflower pictures in the fall
Practically everyone had their senior pictures done in a sunflower field.
15. Nearly everyone is a Republican, unless they're from Lawrence
You also referred to Lawrence as the "blue dot in a sea of red."
16. Your friends from college have no desire to visit
*Pretends not to understand why someone who lives in California wouldn't want to vacation in Kansas.*
17. But that doesn't make you love it any less
Even though you complain about it all the time.
18. And it will always be home
The only quote from TheWizard of Oz that's relevant.
Rejoice, KatyCat fans! Katy Perry has finally released a new song, and we are going absolutely crazy. Friday at midnight, Katy took to Twitter to announce her new single "Chained to the Rhythm," which has a super upbeat sound that will make you get on your feet and dance. We promise, it does not disappoint.
Just six months after releasing "Rise" ahead of the Rio Olympics, Katy is expected to perform this new dance hit at the Grammy Awards on Sunday night.
You can listen to the full song on Spotify, Amazon, iTunes or Apple Music, but we suggest watching the lyric video Katy shared on YouTube. Tbh, this vid is probably better than the song itself since it features a giant hand preparing food and an adorable hamster eating in a teeny-tiny kitchen.
This past weekend, Ariana Grande brought her 90-year-old grandmother and her brother Frankie to the second show of her Dangerous Woman tour. V sweet, but it's her grandmother's reaction to her music that is completely priceless.
As you can see in this fan video, Frankie is freaking out and taking selfies while Nonna is not amused.
I don't know what's funnier. The side eye Nonna gave to Frankie, or how shocked she is by Ariana's performance pic.twitter.com/bR70GbzFqD
Sure, it was probably a tad too loud in the stadium, especially since her grandmother was front row and surrounded by screaming millennials. But the reaction fans managed to catch when Ariana started cursing in "Bad Decisions" made it seem like Nonna was watching a horror movie.
In reality, we all know that Ariana and her grandma are inseparable and Nonna couldn't be more proud of her granddaughter's success.
That said, I would love to see more Nonna reactions at future Ariana concerts because this is golden.
J.K. Rowling’s Twitter account is made even better by her witty responses to internet trolls, but this is a new kind of trolling. A fan recently tweeted about the popular wordsmith’s death, and as one might expect, Rowling was a little taken aback by the post.
The tweet in question contains a meme that details how fans will likely react when Rowling dies. In true J.K. Rowling fashion, she responded with genuine concern that people were planning for her death.
This is very sweet, but I won't be offended if you untag me when making plans for my death. pic.twitter.com/LfLSTuTxQO
According to The Telegraph, a fan added fuel to the fire by predicting that the tweet will “blow up” when Rowling does eventually pass away. The author shut it down from there.
Although there may be some truth in the tweet, it would be a little weird for anyone to hear people talking about reactions to their death when they are clearly alive and well.
Seriously, tweet whatever you like. I just don't want to be tagged in on the funeral plans. It's... weird. https://t.co/d98WEwsvKl
Do you recall something being off about Kelly Clarkson at the 2006 Grammy Awards? She won Best Female Pop Vocal Performance and Best Pop Vocal Album but was told she could have cancer shortly before the show.
"Here's the horrible part: I went the whole day crying," Clarkson recently revealed on Billboard's Pop Shop Podcast. "They redid my makeup like four times because I was like, 'Wow, so young.' I was just completely freaking out. Then when I won, I thought, 'Oh my God. This is like God giving me one more thing before something horrible happens.'"
The next day, the doctor's office told Clarkson they'd mixed up the results and she wasn't at risk of having cancer. She obviously wasn't happy about the confusion but was grateful she didn't have cancer.
She says she doesn't "remember anything but being terrified." We don't blame her!
President Donald Trump faced a blow to his agenda Thursday night when a panel of judges from the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that his travel ban, which stopped citizens of seven Muslim majority countries from entering the U.S., should remain blocked. Of course, he immediately tweeted his reaction:
SEE YOU IN COURT, THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE!
“SEE YOU IN COURT” might not be the best response when a court literally just ruled that your ban doesn’t stand up in court, but that’s our president for you.
So, why did the court rule this way? The three judges on the panel, who voted unanimously to block the ban, felt that the Justice Department did not provide enough evidence that there was a legitimate threat of terrorism from the banned countries (Iraq, Syria, Iran, Libya, Somalia, Sudan and Yemen). There have been no deadly terrorist attacks on U.S. soil perpetrated by a person from one of the seven countries, though there have been three non-deadly attacks, according to Poltifact.
The judges also thought the ban might be discriminatory, writing in their decision, "the public has a powerful interest in national security and in the ability of an elected president to enact policies...the public also has an interest in free flow of travel, in avoiding separation of families, and in freedom from discrimination."
Basically, rather than provide evidence of danger from the banned countries, the Justice Department made the argument that the executive branch of the government has the power to enact bans like this one in the interest of national security—and that the judicial branch should let them do whatever they want. The judges weren’t about that argument, writing, "Although our jurisprudence has long counseled deference to the political branches on matters of immigration and national security, neither the Supreme Court nor our court has ever held that courts lack the authority to review executive action in those arenas for compliance with the Constitution."
According to Reuters, Trump’s administration now has a few options. They can have the rest of the judges from the appeals court review the panel’s decision, or they can go all the way to the Supreme Court. But SCOTUS still has only eight justices, meaning they could split 4-4 on this case. When that happens, the lower court’s decision is confirmed, and the travel ban would be in real trouble.
As Vox points out, the court decisions about the executive order so far have been about whether or not the ban can stay in place as the courts decide whether or not it is constitutional. In other words, the Thursday decision said the ban must stay on hold, not that the ban is unconstitutional or illegal. But the judges of the appeals court didn’t express a lot of confidence in the executive order, writing, “we hold that the Government has not shown a likelihood of success on the merits of its appeal.”
Your boyfriend is truly amazing, and you’re perfect together…but sometimes, he doesn’t think twice about letting out a little sexist comment. He doesn’t realize it, but it can be offensive to your feminist ideals. Or maybe you’ve tried explaining feminism to him and he rejected the concept for some reason that evades you. Whatever the reasoning (or lack thereof) behind his attitude, it bothers you that he doesn’t support you in this way. Luckily, we’re here to help you make sense of this situation.
Even when we don’t realize it, feminism is a big part of our lives as modern collegiettes. We’re no longer pursuing our “MRS degrees,” and our world is getting closer and closer to embracing gender equality. We aren’t quite there yet, and this comes through in your boyfriend’s macho banter.
If your boyfriend tells or laughs at sexist jokes, he might just not realize that he’s being inappropriate. But if he undermines the concept of feminism specifically, this could be based on the all-too-common misconception that feminists are man-hating, domineering, cold women.
“It’s important to remember that just because a college woman’s boyfriend—or any other male peer—misunderstands feminism doesn’t necessarily mean he’s anti-feminist,” says Julie Zeilinger, author of A Little F’d Up: Why Feminism Is Not A Dirty Word and feminist blogger. Instead, Zeilinger says, it’s important to understand that “men today are raised in a culture that largely promotes (false) anti-feminist stereotypes, such as that feminists hate men or want power over men (rather than equality), which may lead them to be skeptical of the movement or people who associate with it.”
How to deal
“Just because [your boyfriend] may have been raised this way doesn’t necessarily mean that [he is] sexist,” Zeilinger says. “It more likely means that [he] probably [hasn’t] been exposed to the truth about the feminist movement.” As his girlfriend, you have the power to change this. College is for learning, after all!
When you bring up the subject, make sure you’re not angry at him. “You should always tackle a testy subject once you have cooled down,” says Laurel House, a dating coach and author of Screwing the Rules: The No-Games Guide to Love. “If you snap back or attack, absolutely nothing you say will be heard. It’s best to bring it up later that day or even the next day.” Proper timing is crucial if you want your boyfriend to truly reevaluate his beliefs about feminism.
One issue might be that he thinks there are no inequalities to fight in such a progressive setting as a university campus. “However, various types of inequality and discrimination are also present in the college setting—like, just to name one example, the underrepresentation of women in STEM fields/academic departments,” Zeilinger says. “In the face of this persistent inequality, feminism is as relevant as ever.”
If you tell your SO this and the other reasons why you identify as a feminist, he should understand where you’re coming from and hopefully rally to your cause!
Finally, if you’re unsure how to explain the concept of feminism to him, start with Zeilinger’s simple and effective definition: “Feminism is, on the most basic level, a movement that pursues social, political and economic equality.” But how does this apply to you? “Feminism is especially relevant for college women because college is a time to figure out who you are, what you’re interested in and what you want to pursue—all tenants of independence and self-realization that are inherently feminist,” Zeilinger says.
In other words, if he supports your right to personal and professional growth, he unknowingly supports feminism already. It just needed to be clarified!
Emily Schulz, a senior at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse, says her last boyfriend openly disapproved of feminism.
“I am a women's studies minor and a very outspoken feminist,” Emily says. “He was a conservative business major. I knew from the start we would never last based on our fundamental differences, but when we kept the conversation light, we had a lot of fun together.”
Feminism plays a central role in Emily’s life, and she wanted to share this with her SO, but he remained unreceptive. “There was one time when I knew we had to end our relationship,” she says. “I brought up something I'd read in various research studies for one of my women's studies classes. He continued to dispute anything I said, and in the end, simply said, ‘I think that information is wrong,’ as though all of my research and the scholars' findings that I was citing were flat-out made-up lies.”
There are two problems with Emily’s situation: First, her boyfriend undermined entirely legitimate facts and research findings. Second, he was unwilling to support his partner in an area that was so central to her whole belief system.
“After a while, he would just say that he didn't care and wished politics only revolved around the important stuff—meaning the economy—and that the social issues just distracted from that, which, again, undervalues feminism and social justice,” Emily says.
You shouldn’t have to stand for any behavior or speech that belittles who you are or what you believe in, but especially not coming from a significant other.
How to deal
First off, you need to draw the line between unintentionally offensive banter and beliefs that just cannot align with your own. The harsh reality is that if you try to educate your boyfriend about feminism and he continues to subscribe to sexist ideals, he probably isn’t worth having in your life. In this case, you should probably break things off.
“At the end of the day, you should be with someone who makes your life better—who challenges you, who makes you a better version of yourself and makes you happy,” Zeilinger says. “I don’t believe any relationship in which one partner belittles another or believes [he’s] better than another can meet those qualifications.”
As an ambitious and independent woman, the last thing you need is someone ridiculing your core values. If your partner makes you feel this way, he’s a poor excuse for a partner. You deserve to be in a respectful, equal relationship, and if this guy can’t see that, you are SO much better on your own.
The situation: He follows a double standard
A guy might insist on paying for your dinner to show you he cares, but not accept that you pay for the same reasons. In this case he means well, but it might make you uncomfortable, as was the case for Naomi*, a recent graduate from Northwestern University.
“The guy I'm dating is super into paying for everything, and it took a while for him to come around,” Naomi says. “He would assure me that wanting to pay was just how he liked to take care of the women he dated and an important way, for him, to show that he cared.”
Naomi’s partner identifies as a feminist, but apparently not in this way. “He'd say things like paying for our dates had everything to do with being the man he wanted to be and nothing to do with the woman he thought I should be, and insisted that he didn't want me to feel any pressure,” Naomi explains.
Although Naomi felt uncomfortable, this guy clearly respected her as a person and as a feminist. However, there are instances when your SO could follow an unacceptable double standard, such as always wanting to know your whereabouts without disclosing his, getting jealous of you talking to other guys but flirting with other girls himself or thinking your sexual number says more about you than his says about him.
How to deal
If you are in a caring, balanced and understanding relationship, your partner will ultimately be happy to compromise to meet your needs.
Naomi eventually told her SO how she felt. “I went with it for a while, but eventually had to sit down and discuss with him that it made me uncomfortable and that I would love to split things more evenly in the future,” Naomi says. “After hearing my side of things, we did just that. It was easy as that.”
Before jumping to conclusions, try to make him aware of his behavior. “Communicate how it makes you feel when he hounds you for information, but seems to hide his whereabouts,” House says. “Reverse the situation for him. How would it make him feel if you constantly questioned what he was up to, but didn’t reveal what you did during your alone time? Relationships should be even, with fair and level expectations.”
If he cares about you, he will understand where you’re coming from and adapt accordingly, but if he openly rejects your argument, you should be very concerned. His attitude could be “indicative of abusive behavior,” Zeilinger says. “Tolerating abusive behavior, or any behavior which positions your partner as having or deserving more power than you in the relationship, is unacceptable.” You should break up with someone like this or speak to a school counselor if you don’t feel able to do it alone.
The situation: He treats you as inferior
There is a clear difference between a nice guy who speaks without a filter and someone who obviously thinks of you as inferior. Karina Reddy, a recent graduate from Boston University, was once seeing a guy who asked her to come hang out with his friends because she made him “look good”—a comment that makes us grind our teeth. “I felt objectified, and it made me feel, along with other things he'd said, that he thought women were there to sit next to him looking pretty to impress his friends,” Karina says.
You do not deserve to—and should never— accept any kind of patronizing, belittling or objectification. If your gender changes the way someone treats you, then that person is not one you want in your life.
How to deal
Some things can be tolerated, but lack of respect is not one of them. “As long as your boyfriend or male friend clearly respects you as an individual, cares about what you think and treats you with kindness, then it may be okay to take some tough behavior or macho joking with a grain of salt,” Zeilinger says.
As in the case of double standards, “it’s unacceptable if it’s not clear to you that this person [respects] you,” Zeilinger says. “If your boyfriend treats you like [his] property and makes it clear that [he’s] in control and [is] more important in some way, then that is a clear indicator that your relationship is unhealthy.” Here too, you should get yourself out of this potentially dangerous situation or seek out help to do so.
So many people misunderstand the essence of feminism, but the vast majority of them can be swayed by a proper explanation, including your boyfriend. If he’s smart, he’ll understand the relevance of this theory. If he cares about you, he’ll embrace your value system and respect you all the more for it. But if he insists on keeping up his sexist ways, it’s probably time to let him go (and dodge a bullet). Good luck, collegiettes!
Guys, the Grammys are this weekend! It's basically a battle between Adele's 25 and Beyoncé's Lemonade, with a little Lukas Graham and The Chainsmokers thrown in. And while y'all might be dying to know who takes home those golden statues on Sunday, I'm dying to see whose outfits are award-worthy on the red carpet. Take a look at some of the best Grammys looks from previous shows.
1. Adele's Nightsky Gown
2. Britney's Marilyn Moment
3. Queen Bey's Lacey Look
4. Lady Gaga Takes the Award for Most Original...
5. Katy's Embellished Flapper Dress
6. Rihanna's Red Chiffon Train
7. Kaley Cuoco's Beaded Pantsuit
8. Miley's Punk Chic Throwback
9. Who could forget Taylor's slit two-piece dress?
Barb may have died on Stranger Things, but her career is very much still alive. Shannon Purser, who played the dearly departed icon on Netflix's hit series, is back—this time as Ethel Muggs on The CW's new show Riverdale.
Riverdale's central mystery is about a high school student named Jason Blossom who turns up dead. The town is trying to put together the pieces while keeping their own secrets.
Purser debuted as Ethel in this week's episode, teaming up with main characters Betty and Veronica to take down a slut-shaming football player. Cosmopolitandescribes Ethel as "the Gloria Steinem of Riverdale High." Say no more.
It still doesn't seem like Barb will be back on Stranger Things, but at least we have Riverdale to look forward to.
