Entering a relationship is a big step to take that not only impacts you but also your friends. Though this may sound surprising, as your relationship is just yours, relationships impact what you and your friends talk about and the time you choose to spend together. Friday nights can easily transform from going out with the girls to staying in with your SO. Your friends know you better than anyone and are likely to have an opinion on your SO and your relationship. It’s important to hear out your BFF’s opinions on your SO and make her feel heard, but how much do these opinions truly matter, and when should they have a real impact on your relationship? Her Campus went on a mission to figure this out. 

Consider the relationship between you and your friend

Kathleen Bogle, author of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus, recommends evaluating the friendship you have with the friend who has an opinion on your SO. “A true friend hates to see you not treated well and hates to see someone that is ‘just not that into’ you while you put your SO on a pedestal,” Bogle, also a professor of sociology and criminal justice at La Salle University, says. “But, some friends are part ‘frenemy’ and do not have your best interest at heart.” So, rather than the opinion itself, she recommends evaluating the friendship you and your friend share. If you believe she has your back and truly wants what is best for you, Bogle recommends to “give a lot of thought to what she says!”

Related: What to Do When Your Friend Is in an Abusive Relationship

Understand the context of their opinion

If you believe your friends’ opinions are coming from a place of jealousy or hurt, address those feelings rather than the opinions themselves. If you think your friend may be hurt that you haven’t been spending as much time with her and jealous of the time you’re spending with your SO, make a larger effort to involve her in plans and catch up. She may not really dislike your SO, she may just feel like they’ve stolen you from her.

Bogle says it is “a huge mistake to drop your friends and spend all of your time with your SO” and recommends making time to hang out with your friends without your SO there, which will reduce jealousy. Bogle emphasizes that “when you are young, SOs come and go, but close friends may be forever.” If a friend is truly important to you, make sure to tell her how much you appreciate her and give her a space to voice how she feels if she is hurt. “Be a good friend so that your friends are there when you need them, which will be often,” Bogle recommends. There is no SO worth losing a phenomenal friendship over—or even a new friendship that could blossom into a lifelong bond.

Evaluate the opinion itself

There is a big difference between an opinion that cannot be ignored and an opinion that doesn’t affect you in the way it affects your friend. Annalise Beyer-Johnson, a sophomore at the Maryland Institute College of Art, says if her friends had an opinion on something “like that they don’t like the way he dresses, his hair or something else superficial,” she would ignore their opinions. In that case, they may not know your SO well enough to have an opinion at all! However, if their opinion was on something larger, such as if they believed her SO was unhealthy for her, Annalise says, “that would make me think things over for sure.”

Bogle says to never take a friends’ warning of a potentially unhealthy relationship lightly. While there are some things in relationships that can be worked on, such as communication, Bogle tells us that control problems and extreme jealousy are not something you want to work on. She warns us that “extreme jealousy is the number one warning sign that a relationship could turn physically abusive.” If you are in a relationship where your partner is extremely controlling or jealous, Bogle recommends breaking up “in a public space to reduce the chance of an enraged reaction” as oftentimes “abuse increases during break-ups because the partner is insecure and fears losing the relationship.” Never take a friends’ warnings on your SO lightly; true friends want to keep you safe, healthy and happy, and they may be seeing something you can’t see yourself.

If your friend does say something superficial about your SO, try saying something simple that shows you disagree and then continue to move the conversation further. For instance, if your friend says something about disliking your SO’s wardrobe, reply with “Oh really? I love it! I forgot to ask—how is X class going?” Let her know that you don’t agree, and that should signal to her that what she said isn’t an opinion you appreciate. By quickly changing subjects, it also shows your disinterest in discussing the topic further and keeps the situation from escalating. "You don’t have to get mad or fight with them about it; just let them know those little superficial qualities they don’t like work just fine for you," Bogle says.

True friends have your best interest at heart, and if they are expressing genuine concern about an aspect of your relationship, such as your SO’s controlling tendencies, that may be a red flag. However, other opinions can afford to be disregarded. Your SO’s haircut may not be your friends’ cup of tea, but it can definitely be yours!

Reflect on your own relationship

After hearing your friends’ opinions and taking them into consideration if you feel necessary, it may be time to reflect on your own relationship. Sometimes our feelings can cloud our judgment because we are so caught up in the excitement of it all. If after hearing your friends’ opinions you begin to have doubts about your relationship it may be time to have a serious talk with your SO. But, if after hearing what your friends think about your SO only confirms they’re the person you’re meant to be with, you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the two biggest loves in your life, your BFF and SO, love one another just as much as you love them.

At the end of the day, your friends were there before you and your SO got together, and they will be there for you the day you and your SO end. True friends have your best interest at heart, and their opinions shouldn’t be disregarded, especially if they are on a serious matter. Listen to them with an open heart and understand that they are coming into the conversation with your best interest in mind. And of course, if their opinion is on something superficial, channel Taylor Swift and "shake it off."

We all have our favorite little black dresses that are simultaneously reliable, fashion-forward and flattering. This holiday season, it’s time to take your LBD to the next level with a few styling tricks and accessories to suit every event you have on your busy schedule. From cocktail parties to cookie swaps, your loyal LBD will act as the perfect starting point for a slew of festive ensembles.

1. Furry & Fab

Transform a basic LBD into a chic evening look by adding some luxe textures like faux fur. These days you can find a great coat at any price—and as a bonus it'll become a staple in your closet, taking your winter outfits to the next level. Strappy heels accented with a touch of texture add a bit of whimsy to your holiday look. Finally, an eye-catching clutch in deep red will give your outfit a punch of color and another element of interest to cut through all that fuzz.

2. Home for the Holidays

We all know that the best part of the holiday season is spending time with family. A low-key family gathering is another perfect opportunity to pull out the LBD. An A-line style in a stretchy material will keep you comfortable throughout the day and night, while pretty flats are a good alternative for heels. Keep it fun yet fashionable with printed tights and a long cardigan. You’ll be comfortable and cozy while still impressing those family members you haven’t seen all year!

Related: 9 Creative Ways to Transform Your Look in One Step

3. Perfectly Polished

Every girl should have a go-to party look in her closet, and this one will serve you well this holiday season. A fitted, flirty LBD can be dressed up with sexy leopard print heels, while a chic blazer and modern pearls keep the look sophisticated. 

4. Sweet & Spicy

Sometimes the holidays just call for a look that’s sultry and sophisticated. A fitted LBD with a hint of skin and lace-up booties is always stylish and so perfectly Kylie Jenner. A demure, understated coat gives you a much-needed extra layer—plus it makes for a great reveal to your sexy look underneath.

5. Shopping Spree

If a day of shopping is on your to-do list this winter break, you’ll need an outfit that’s both comfortable and fashion-forward. Break out that LBD and glam it up with a pair of leather booties and a blanket cape that you can easily take on and off as you shop. A great tassel necklace is always a good choice, and effortlessly takes a basic knit dress from flat to fab.

6. Mad for Mod

Transform your favorite black mini dress with a pair of thigh-high boots that will give you legs for days. A motorcycle jacket and cross-body bag are all you need to finish off the outfit. Plus you can easily dress it up or down with sparkly jewels for a night on the town or simple studs for a day out with the girls.

7. Winter Wonderland

A long-sleeved LBD is a great winter staple and so versatile for both upscale and casual holiday gatherings. A sleeveless vest is an effortless way to glamorize a black dress and a pair of sparkly ballet flats just screams holiday cheer. Finish it all off with delicate layered necklaces or a stack of bangles, and you’re ready to make your holiday rounds.

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The holidays are a busy time of year for catching up with friends and family, attending parties and hosting get-togethers. But there’s no need to stress about what you’ll wear to each new event if you’ve already got a trustworthy little black dress tucked in your closet. It’s the perfect blank slate for endless styling possibilities, meaning you can go from a day of Christmas shopping to a holiday soiree in a snap!

Feminism means promoting acceptance and equality, valuing different identities and loving others and ourselves for who we are. And since mutual respect, love and understanding are vital ingredients to a healthy relationship, we'll go right ahead and say it: feminists make ~the best~ companions. No matter where you fall on the identity spectrum, your relationship is bound to benefit from a partner who stands for equal rights for all. Be it a confident and courageous gal pal or considerate and progressive boyfriend, a feminist plus-one is the partner everyone deserves.

1. The end-of-meal bill situation will be stress free.

A female-identifying feminist isn't going to fight you for the bill, but she won't expect you to pay, and a male-identifying feminist won't have his pride hurt by letting his SO foot the bill. So split the bill or take turns at the table—after all, a few freebie dinners never hurt.

2. Worried about being too forward? The first move is on us. 

Playing hard to get is so outdated, not to mention dangerous when it comes to clarifying consent. A feminist SO won't mind you making the first move, even if your traditional gender role says otherwise.

3. Cry in front of us—or not. Gender norms be damned.

Your emotions will be validated no matter what they are, we promise.

4. Our perspectives have been widened in all sorts of situations.

Being a feminist means being open-minded, and expecting open-mindedness in return. So if you want to switch roles in the bedroom, just ask!

5. Point blank: we aren't afraid to talk about sex.

We all have bodies (and a right to use them), so why are we ashamed of them?

6. And because we don't beat around the bush, consent is a priority. 

Feminists know that consent can be sexy, and even if asking is awk, who cares? No one should feel uncomfortable or used, no matter their orientation or identity.

7. Pregnancy scare fiascoes don't have to be an issue.

Access to birth control and feminism go hand-in-hand, meaning feminists aren't afraid to be open about taking steps toward safer sex.

8. You can say goodbye to negative gossip.

We are so not about judging or tearing down anyone.

9. We know our unique privileges, and use them for good.

Feminism requires a recognition of double standards and inequality. We'll see injustices more clearly and recognize when it's our job to help (say hello to endlessly fun dates volunteering)!

10. We won't shut down your dreams.

Want to be a stay-at-home-dad? Want to be a stay-at-home-mom? No matter who you are, you have the right to fulfill your own wishes and goals.

11. Say goodbye to the endless "no, what do you want to do?" cycle of decision making. 

Why should anyone be nervous to offer up something as simple as an activity or restaurant option? It's okay to take charge, and we'll do it if you don't want to!

12. Forgot to shave? Big whoop.

If you're female-identifying, a feminist SO won't get grossed out by the occasional spiky leg, or even the choice to not shave at all. And if you're male-identifying, a feminist SO won't expect you to be the next hulk. The choices you make with your body are your choices ~end of story~, so stereotypical expectations can go out the window.

13. We can offer up empathy toward the injustices you experience.

We won't shut down how you're feeling without hearing the whole story, and we'll always listento you.

14. But we have no problem stirring up a debate, making our conversations consistently lively.

Myth: feminists are aggressive, angry, judgmental man-haters. Fact: feminists aren't afraid to point out a sexist slip but only because they care, and ~caring is cool.~  

15. All in all, you and your SO will be constantly learning with and from each other—talk about a power couple.

When you aren't afraid to admit faults, grow and come to decisions together, your relationship will undoubtedly strengthen.

Food trends of 2017. [Newser]

An affordable winter face mask from Kylie Jenner. [EliteDaily]

Life expectancy in the U.S. on the decline. [Shape]

Never say these things to a makeup addict. [Cosmopolitan]

If he doesn't respect you, he doesn't love you. [Thought Catalog]

The problem with Siri and Alexa's gender. [refinery29]

The best iPhone apps of 2016.[Vogue

John Legend's open letter to President Obama. [Jezebel]

Love these emoji cookies. [Spoon University]

The best cheap workout equipment. [Women's Health]

With the cold setting in and in the midst of finals—among other things—it can sometimes be hard to keep our heads up. Whether homework is taking a toll on you, you’ve been through a bad breakup, or you’re just in a rut, we can all use some cheering up at times. Lucky for you, we consulted with some collegiettes and a few experts for their favorite pick-me-ups and found the top nine methods to making yourself happier.

1. Exercise

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While happiness seems like a mental concept, that’s not always the case. Keeping your body in check is important for balancing your mental health. Exercising can release stress, help you sleep better and boost your energy throughout the day.

“While there are literally thousands of published studies showing the cardiovascular and musculo-skeletal benefits of activity, we should also never discount the 'above the neck' benefits,” says Todd Whitthorne, president of ACAP Health. “While 'happiness' is a state of mind, we know with certainty that well-rested, physically active people that consume a healthy diet are much more likely to enjoy life and have a positive influence on others.”

Of course, it's easier said than done.

“Sometimes it's difficult to motivate myself to go for a run after work when it's already dark and cold out, but it really clears my head after a long day like nothing else can,” says Jenna Adrian, a sophomore at Drexel University. “When I finish my run I feel so much calmer and refreshed than when I started.”

Even if the thought of leaving your bed is getting you down, we promise you’ll feel better after getting some exercise. A quick jog, some burpees or even 15 minutes of yoga can boost your mood and make you feel productive.

Related: 7 Ways to Become the Type of Person Who Enjoys Working Out

2. Help someone out

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If you’re feeling down, the last thing you might want to do is interact with... well, anyone. But trust us when we say that doing something nice for another person will make you feel better! Lending a helping hand not only makes someone else’s day, but it can boost your own mood, too.

“Doing something to make someone else happy has always been something that improves my mood!” says Jules Sippel, a sophomore at Gettysburg College. Sign up to volunteer in your community with a friend, or do something as simple as helping your parents out by vacuuming the living room. Lending a hand helps out others and makes you feel a bit more productive yourself.

3. Have a warm drink

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If you’re feeling down or stressed, fixing yourself a hot drink is an easy and quick go-to fix. It’s simple, fast and soothing—perfect to pick you back up.

“Warm drinks are perfectly cozy,” says Jules. “I prefer tea or cider when I'm sad or stressed!” If you’re feeling off, consider putting the teapot on the stove or fixing yourself a cup of hot cocoa (with mini marshmallows, of course)!

4. Take a bath

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An oldie-but-a-goodie, taking a bath is a surefire way to relieve a little stress and pick up your mood. It might seem a bit cheesy, but don’t be afraid to break out the bubbles, candles and even the romance novels. There’s nothing like some hot water, nice aromas and soothing music to cheer you back up!

5. Eat antioxidants

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Just like exercising can help with your mental health, so can healthy foods. If you eat right, you’ll feel right—so try to keep your meals on the healthy side. Antioxidants can boost your energy, clear your skin and support your immune system—and they happen to be found in the yummiest kinds of food, like fruit and dark chocolate.

“I keep a bag of dark chocolate Hershey Kisses in my pantry,” says Alexandra Blessing, a student at Millersville University. “Dark chocolate has been proven to increase happiness because of the antioxidants,” she says. “Any time I'm stressed out, I eat a few!”

According to experts, there's a direct link between what we put into our bodies and how we feel emotionally.

“What we eat affects how we feel, because food is the building block not only of our muscles and bones, but of our very thoughts and emotions as well,” says health and wellness expert, Peggy Hall. “That might seem strange, but everything we do, feel and think is a matter of chemical reactions. And the food we eat affects those chemical reactions.” Next time you hit the dining hall, opt for some fruit, or stop by the grocery store and pick up a bag of chocolate to cheer yourself up!

6. Read

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With all the business that comes with college—studying, spending time with friends and extracurricular activities—it can be hard to make time for yourself. Most of us spent a good chunk of time reading back in elementary school and probably throughout high school but dropped the habit when other priorities took over in college.

Set aside some time to sit back, relax and do some light reading. A good book can take you into another world and make you completely forget the negative things in your life for a few hours. If you don’t have the interest or time to invest in a book, flip through your favorite magazines or read a short story!

7. Talk to a loved one

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Sometimes when you’re feeling out of it, it just takes someone you love to get you back in the groove. Feeling lonely or distant is common, and connecting with someone special can bring you back to reality and make you realize that your situation probably isn’t as bad as you think.

“Talking to a loved one, even if it's about something totally unrelated, can be an amazing mood-lifter,” says Jules. Next time you’re feeling down, call up your parents, a sibling or a good friend and chat for a while. The conversation just might be able to distract you and cheer you back up!

8. Meditate

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While even thinking about meditating makes you tired, there’s a lot more to it than you think. In reality, meditating allows you to clear your mind and appreciate mindfulness and living in the moment. It means taking just 10 to 30 minutes a day to clear your mind completely. 

“Meditating leaves you relaxed and more aware throughout the rest of the day,” says Nicole Fulkerson, a senior at Auburn University. “Most importantly, it leaves you time to not think about the things that stress you out or make you upset like school, relationships and everyday struggles.”

Meditation can be tricky at first, but with practice, you can easily clear your mind in just a few minutes. “There are a few ways that you can learn to meditate for free,” says Nicole. She uses an app called OMG! I Can Meditate as well as YouTube videos that viewers can follow along with.

9. Get something done

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Though you’d probably much rather watch Netflix in bed than clean your room, sometimes work is exactly what you need to do to brighten your day. Getting work done can be incredibly rewarding, and while you might not feel very cheery in the middle of it, we can promise that you’ll feel better after.

“While working is hardly something you'd like to do, productivity can give you another focus and the inspiration you need!” says Jules. Next time you’re feeling down, consider scrubbing down your apartment, writing that essay you’ve been putting off or running some errands you have to do. Productivity is a great mood booster.

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If you’re feeling down, there are always simple ways to snap out of it. Remember to keep healthy, stay connected and set some time aside for yourself in order to keep your mood up!

To know Troian Bellisario and Patrick J. Adams is to love them. As a longtime Pretty Little Liars and Suits fan, I have been dying for this pair to get married ever since I discovered they were dating. They finally tied the knot this weekend in a wedding celebration that lasted three days and was dubbed Fort Day 2016.

It kind of goes without saying that the pics are drop-dead gorgeous, but here are a few faves just to provide the proof.

The invite = pure happiness.

Fort Day should be taken quite literally because there were actual forts everywhere.

They’re so in love and beautiful and have their own WEDDING BUS.

They jammed pre-wedding because of course.

Their tables had Polaroid pics and constellations.

Yes, that is Emily’s non-Paige GF.

The PLL gang was here. for. it.

Show me a better cake topper. I dare you.

Ashley Benson ~hearts~ them and so do I.

There is so much love among this gang it’s seeping through this photo.

Harvey showed up to support his brother Mike, and it was the sweetest thing ever.

Look at this utter adorableness.

There were even moments for diehard Spoby shippers like myself.

THIS IS FOREVER YOU GUYS.

Another angle because one wasn’t enough.

It’s finally that time of year again: finals are (nearly) over, and your social calendar is filling up with more Ugly Christmas Sweater parties and New Year’s Eve celebrations than you can count. Seasonal get-togethers hold a special place in our hearts, thanks to: 1) the gift of an excuse to be fun and adventurous with our wardrobes, and 2) the chance to don a red carpet-worthy hairstyle in the name of being festive. So if you’re in need of some inspiration for that holiday party you’ve been invited to, you’ve come to the right place. We’re here to provide you with a few hairstyles that are easy to do and will bring a little holiday cheer to any festivity. 

1. A Braided Crown

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The beauty of this style is that it works on short hair and long hair, offering up an elegance fit for a formal ball. And the best part is that it’s wayeasier to put together than it looks. 

Instructions:

1. Form two low ponytails.
2. Braid each ponytail separately and secure them both with elastic hair ties.
3. Take one braid up and over, securing it close to the forehead. 
4. Do the same with the remaining braid, and fasten it behind the other.

2. The Lobster Tail

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This style actually does resemble a lobster. Sound crazy? Maybe, but we love it, and especially for a cozy dinner party. Here's a foolproof video tutorial to help you on your way.

3. A Chain Braid

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This braid will give you a messy modern look that’s still chic and festive enough to impress any of your fellow party-goers. We'll be wearing it at our next holiday mixer.

Instructions:

1. Start by curling your hair a little to help your braid appear fuller, and then lightly tease it.
2. Grab hold of the top section of your hair, as you would to prep for a half-up hairdo.
3. Split that top section into two more sections.
4. Loop those two sections in a shoelace-like tie.
5. Continue to knot by adding in more strands, as you would with a French braid. 
6. Secure the end with an elastic hair tie.
7. Loosen the knots to give a tousled finish.

Related: 5 Braided Buns to Add to Your #HairGoals Pinterest Board

4. Havana Twists

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Okay, so these aren't technically braids, but they achieve the same gorgeous (and wear-anywhere) look while helping to protect natural hair that needs a break from more damaging styles. We'll leave instructing to the experts: get started with this in-depth tutorial (or the shorter version for last-minute gals).

5. The Infinity Braid

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If you’re a braid junkie and you want to get a little more complex, try your hand at this seemingly-endless style. Those twists will be sure to turn heads, and the look will elevate even the ugliest of Christmas sweaters.

Instructions:

1. Separate your hair into three sections: middle, left and right.
2. French braid either the left or right side and secure.
3. Form regular braids with the leftover sections and secure.
4. Turn the center regular braid into a bun and secure. 
5. Loop the French-braided section around the bun, starting underneath, and secure.
6. Loop the final braid around the bun as well, but start by going over, rather than under.

6. A Braided Bun Updo

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This is a classy, French-braided bun that's really perfect for all occasions. It gives you the perfect balance of elegance and sass. In search of a killer tutorial? Watch here. 

7. The Braided Halo (Upgraded)

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This version of the halo braid is a bit like the crown, except that it requires you to leave more of your hair out. We're all for the fab tousled pouf, ideal for a night out on the town. 

Instructions:

1. Separate your hair into two sections, one on the top and one on the bottom.
2. Clip the upper section to the top of your head.
3. Take a small section of hair by your temple and begin French braiding, all the way back.
4. Secure the braid with an elastic hair tie and repeat on the other side.
5. Unclip your hair and tease what's above the braids, then lightly smooth it out.
6. Use bobby pins to keep the braid in place, right below the pouf you just made.

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The only thing more exciting than a holiday party is getting ready for a holiday party. Try out a few of these hairstyles to give your look an extra hint of celebratory glam!

With the holiday season just around the corner, we all can begin to get excited for eating great food, seeing family and friends, curling up with a cup of hot chocolate, and PRESENTS of course! While the holidays offer so many wonderful things, there is nothing quite like receiving a special gift just for you. That’s why we’ve teamed up with Dormify to bring you 12 days of giveaways to kick off the holiday season.

Dormify, a one-stop-shop for small space decorating and inspiration designed for the fashion-minded, simplifies the decor shopping experience by creating and curating exclusive products specifically designed for the style-obsessed, and merchandises them into easy to shop looks to make decorating stress-free and fun!  Each day, enter for a chance to win a special gift from Dormify by following the directions in the daily #12daysofDFY posts on Dormify’s instagram account.

And the gifting doesn't stop on day 12! On day 13, Dormify and Her Campus will be giving one lucky winner all 12 gifts in a super special Holiday Bundle!

Ready to treat yourself this holiday season? Enter to win each day HERE!

Feeling extra lucky? Enter below for your chance to win the Holiday Bundle!

12 Days of Giveaways Dormify

It's December, which for many people means that it is officially Christmastime. While the end of Thanksgiving marks the start of the Christmas season (at least commercially), what about those of us who don't celebrate on December 25? If you're Jewish, during the holidays, it can feel like Christmas is all anyone cares about. If Hanukkah is mentioned at all, it's usually an afterthought. Luckily, the annoyances are mostly minor. Of course, we're going to complain about them anyway. Here are 15 things only Jewish girls—and guys—have to deal with around Christmas.

1. Having everyone wish you a Merry Christmas

And saying it back, because you don't feel like explaining to the checkout guy that you don't celebrate Christmas.

2. The lack of Hanukkah-themed merchandise

While almost every store is fully stocked with Christmas ornaments, Christmas wrapping paper, Christmas candy and any other Christmas item you could possibly need, it's much more difficult to find Hanukkah products.

3. Constantly craving latkes and sufganiyot

A jelly donut from Dunkin' just isn't the same.

4. Being asked, "Do you really get eight presents?"

Just because the holiday lasts for eight days does not mean we get eight presents.

5. And getting the question, "Hanukkah is just like the Jewish Christmas, right?"

Not at all. Hanukkah celebrates the triumph of the Maccabees and the miracle in which a one-day supply of oil lasted for eight days. It isn't even the most religiously significant Jewish holiday, by the way.

6. Having to explain that there is no such thing as a Jewish Santa or a Hanukkah bush

Sometimes we refer to Christmas trees as Hanukkah bushes, but just for fun.

7. Never knowing what night Hanukkah starts on this year

It's December 24, by the way.

8. Having to spell the word itself

Is it Hanukkah? Chanukah? Hannukah? There are like 15 different ways to spell it, so don't stress.

9. Feeling a little weird every time you see a nativity scene in someone's yard

We totally respect your religious beliefs, though, we promise.

10. But still loving Christmas lights and decorations in general

Because who doesn't need a little holiday cheer this time of year?

11. The fact that there are very few ugly Hanukkah sweaters

What are we supposed to wear to an ugly sweater party?

12. Explaining that you didn't grow up watching classic Christmas movies

Don't yell at me just because I've never seen Home Alone, okay?

13. Not caring whether or not you have a white Christmas

#sorrynotsorry

14. Realizing how boring the game of dreidel actually is

It gets old after, like, five minutes. 

15. Running into your entire synagogue at the Chinese restaurant on Christmas

And then again at the movie theater. But seriously.

Happy Hanukkah, collegiettes!

Name: Alexis Maybank
Age: 42
Job Title and Description: CEO & Co-Founder at Project September
College Name/Major: Harvard University, Business
Website:projectseptember.com
Twitter Handle:@ProjSept
Instagram Handle:@projectseptember

What does your current job entail? Is there such thing as a typical day?

Alexis Maybank: Every day is different. My mornings usually begin at a breakfast meeting with anyone from an investor to the style director at a magazine, etc.  From there, I go straight to the office and continue meetings internally that include product development and design, marketing and public relations, and brand development.  I spend a lot of time actively using the app – it is important that I see it from the perspective of our users. This is how I will find things that I think work or don’t work, should be changed, or could be made easier.  We are working every day to make sure that our interface is user-friendly and easy to navigate.  I try to keep all of my meetings earlier in the day so that I can make sure to get home to my husband and three kids at a reasonable hour.

What inspired you to start both Gilt and Project September?

AM: Most of my career has been focused on starting new businesses.  When I went to Gilt, it was to start a business with a friend of mine, Alexandra Wilson, to create a business allowing us to shop in a new way. Project September was an idea that came to me when I saw a whole new way in which people were starting to connect to and discover fashion.  There was so much beautiful visual content being shared across the social sphere and I found myself spending so much time just swiping from image to image wanting to know immediately what was being featured in an image from people that I followed. To interact almost directly with the pixels themselves to find out where that dress is available for sale, or where I could buy those summer sandals—and have all that be a very quick experience, where I could click, learn, check out. And that did not exist yet. That was the inspiration for Project September: to finally have a platform for immersive, visual shopping, new looks, and new places to buy brands that I loved.

What is the best part of your job?

AM: I am pursuing an idea that I am passionate about. It’s so important to do something you really love and believe in, something you can relate to and truly enjoy.

What is one thing you wish you knew about your industry when you first started out that you know now?

AM: That in pursuing a business idea that you want to get off the ground, it's important to remember that every month it might feel like things are going wrong, things are breaking. Competition changes, your role changes, and new, unforeseen challenges pop up. You just have to keep it all in context and remember that you have to just go with it and most importantly adapt.

What is one mistake you made along the way and what did you learn from it?

AM: I’m a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed optimist—never saw an idea I didn’t like.  I used to gravitate toward people with similar thinking when looking to expand.  However, I began to realize that my entire team consisted of big-picture thinkers.  In a startup, it is important to also have employees that are cautious and want to know every detail; you need a balanced team that can tackle a concept, challenge, and opportunity in a different way.

What do you look for when hiring someone?

AM: Of course, I'm going to assess their skill, and the good news is I can see that on paper or call references.  As an individual, you know what you are good at and what you're not good at, so over time as you are hiring, you should be hiring for the skill requirements as the rule, but you should also be thinking, "What am I less good at?" and knowing you need to hire those people to create a stronger team. Different personalities are good at different things, but as a leader and an entrepreneur, it often has to start with you and building around your shortcomings.

What advice would you give a 20-something with similar aspirations?

AM: First and foremost, without a doubt, is resilience. As an entrepreneur, you are often failing as much as you are succeeding. You are falling on your face as much as you are stepping up and moving forward. You need that ability to get up, re-gather, think of what you are going to do next, not letting that misstep pull you down. Next, you cannot be afraid of looking stupid or not being perfect. You have to be okay with sticking your neck out, being willing to fall down, and knowing that you are more measured over time about how you are getting back up.

This past Saturday, Louis Tomlinson performed his new single "Just Hold On" on The X Factor finals. But it wasn't a typical performance.

Just a few days earlier, his mother, Johannah Deakin, passed away at 42 years old from an aggressive form of leukemia. After Louis sang, he got a standing ovation. He then kissed his fingers and looked up, presumably to his mother.

Following the performance, Simon Cowell said to Louis: "Louis, I have to say something to you. I've known you now for six years. What you've just done, the bravery, I respect you as an artist, I respect you as a person, and you know, your mum is so proud of you Louis, and she was so looking forward to tonight. She's watching down on you now."

On Twitter, Louis described the performance as "harder than I ever imagined."

We think he did a great job, and we love his new song!

Being in a relationship comes with many challenges, and sometimes it’s hard to identify where some of those problems stem from. Everyone goes through ups and downs with their SO, but there could be something bigger making you feel uneasy about the status of your relationship. Before you make the decision whether or not to call it quits, consider these reasons you might be feeling unsettled.

1. You don’t see each other enough

Making time for one another is a big part of being in a relationship, but with school and work it can become just another thing you’re trying to balance. It's hard to have a strong relationship when you don't make sacrifices to see one another. “My fiancé and I have a tough time seeing each other even though we literally live 100 steps away from each other,” says Alexandra Blessing, a senior at Millersville University. “As super-involved seniors, we're lucky if we can get more than three hours together. It's very hard to cope with it, but we always reserve one day out of the week where we eat dinner together.” Don’t let a busy schedule ruin your relationship. Instead, plan out date nights that work for both of you. 

Related: 12 #RelationshipGoals Every College Girl Has

2. You're having intimacy issues

Being intimate with your SO is a big part of being in a relationship, and it also seems to be one of the earliest signs of trouble when you're feeling unsettled. "My boyfriend and I were not sexually compatible," says Brittney Kane, a junior at Pace University. "I wasn't sexually attracted to him, and even though relationships are more than just physical, it made things really difficult." A lack of intimacy can hurt how close and connected you feel with your SO. It's possible to be in a relationship that fulfills you emotionally, but not physically. 

3. You're stuck in the past

If you keep reminiscing and getting caught up in how things used to be that could be another sign that you're feeling unsettled. The beginning of relationships are often referred to as the honeymoon stage, because it only lasts for so long. "As my relationship progressed I felt myself feeling uneasy about things and realized that I was focusing on how things used to be," says Grace Lyons, a sophomore at William Paterson University. Relationships grow and so do the people in them, so if things aren't like they used to be that doesn't necessarily mean things are worse now. If you find yourself looking back to when you first started dating and how happy and in love you were, it might be time to talk things out with your SO.

4.  You don't give each other enough space

While it’s a problem when you and your SO don’t have enough time for each other, it can also be an issue when you spend all your time together. “During my freshman year, my (now ex) boyfriend and I literally did every single thing together and a lot of our issues stemmed from suffocating each other,” says Lauren McClure, a senior at the University of Wyoming. “Now, as a senior, I am finally secure enough to know when I need some space in my current relationship, and both of us let the other person do their own thing for a while.” Spending all your time together can lead you to lose track of who you are without your SO and make you feel unsure about whether or not to stay in the relationship.

5. You're stressed about the future

There are so many different things college students worry about, but a future after graduation is definitely the biggest stressor. “Trying to plan out my future was causing me a lot of stress and anxiety which hurt my relationship,” says Caitlyn Spears, a senior at Oakland University. "When I realized stress was causing me to take out my frustrations in my relationship I was able to openly talk to my boyfriend about our issues.” Being stressed out can lead you down a path of making rash decisions and possibly shutting out the people in your life. If stress is creating a barrier in your life, be aware that it can also create one in your relationship.

No one’s relationship is perfect, and it’s normal to feel unsure about it sometimes. The important thing is that you try and recognize why you’re feeling unsettled. Identifying the problem is the first step and will help you find the right solution!

Troian Bellisario and Patrick J. Adams recently tied the knot at a "Fort Day"-themed wedding. The couple had been engaged since February 2014, and we can see why the nuptials took so long to plan.

The wedding was actually a three-day "glamping" trip for the pair's closest 200 friends and family, and we already know how breathtakingly gorgeous it was. What makes the event even more special is the meaning behind its theme. Adams took to Instagram to tell people why they chose to turn their wedding into a wonderland filled with forts.

"8 years ago we built a pillow fort in my old apartment and started a conversation that has grown into a whole life. It was just a quiet shared idea that became a yearly tradition," he wrote. "This year we invited some more people. A lot more. And we made a wedding out of it."

Brb crying. We wish the Pretty Little Liars star only the best in her new marriage!

Too Faced is famous for their dessert-scented products—with palettes that smell like gingerbread, contour that smells like cocoa, and lipstick that smells like peppermint mocha, the brand is ensuring that you walk around smelling like a human candy bar. The products themselves don’t disappoint either: many are so highly rated that beauty addicts wait impatiently for restocks, since they sell out so quickly! 

The latest product to be added to Too Faced's sweet collection? Brow pencils that smell like brownies! Before you get too excited, though, I should probably tell you that these aren’t safe for consumption. 

These cleverly named “Brownie” pencils are available in a wide range of colors. While the brand has released various other brow products, such as brow gel and powder, this is the first pencil in their collection. Four shades from the collection—"Taupe,""Auburn,""Soft Brown" and "Deep Brown”—have been released on HSN.com, retailing for $23 each. There's no word yet on when they will be available on the company’s own website, or at other major retailers.

These pencils are sure to not only step up your brow game, but ensure that you smell good doing it. Now all I’m wondering is if it's too late to add these to my holiday wish list.

We’re approaching holiday break, which means you’ll FINALLY have some time to catch up on that ~reading for fun~ you’ve been meaning to do. But maybe you’re not quite sure where to start after a super busy semester spent buried in academic papers and lab reports. Don’t worry—Book of the Month, an awesome book subscription service, has got you covered. The books below are their top five books of the year, as voted by real readers. And there’s something for everyone among this selection! If you want to vote for the best books next year, become a member of Book of the Month with the code HERCAMPUS30—you'll get 30 percent off a three-month subscription, plus a free tote!

1. The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware

This mystery novel has been compared to the work of Agatha Christie, so you know it’s legit. Judge Liberty Hardy of Book of the Month says the story, which follows a journalist reporting from a luxury cruise ship, is full of “thrills, chills, and action,” but also has “an intriguing psychological aspect.”

2. All the Ugly and Wonderful Things by Bryn Greenwood

Described by Judge Nina Sankovich as “the ultimate noir fairytale,” this unlikely love story between two people caught up in the meth business is sure to capture your heart.

3. Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

This science fiction story is an example of incredible world-building—the author has created “a whole multiverse, with a very singular love story at its core,” according to Judge Maris Kreizman. If you enjoyed sci fi entertainment hits like Stranger Things and Arrival this year, this may be the book for you.

4. A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

This novel, called “enthralling, exotic” and “elegant” by Judge Leigh Haber, follows a Russian aristocrat who is put on house arrest in a famous hotel. A Russian history lesson wrapped up in a luxurious story, you won’t want to put this one down when you’re done.

5. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

You may be crying just pages into this memoir, written by the late neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi. Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer at just 36, and he quickly had to figure out how to make the most of his remaining days. Judge Kim Hubbard calls it “a brilliant, inspiring exploration of how to live a meaningful life in the face of death.”

Look your most adorable on Christmas morning this year with these adorable pajama finds.

1. Holiday Vacay Tee & Short Pajama Set ($21.50 at ASOS)

Whether you're waking up in Mexico or your childhood bedroom on Christmas morning, you're still on a vacation from studying. 

2. Cat On Skis Sleep T-Shirt ($35 at TopShop)

This cat might be a better skier than you.

3. Love By Design Christmas One-Piece Pajamas ($35.40 at Nordstrom)

Look like a cuter version of Santa's little helper on Christmas morning.

4. Wildfox Women's Christmas Cami Pyjama Set in Red ($35.36 at Coggles)

Just in case that special someone needed a reminder.

5. Plush Bling Robe ($59.95 at PINK)

Add a little sparkle to a classic print. 

6. MINKPINK Sweet Relaxation Sleep Shorts ($24.99 at Modcloth)

The comfiest.

7. Not A Morning Person Pyjama Set ($40 at TopShop)

A good reminder for pesky little siblings who want to wake you up at 6 a.m. on Christmas morning.

8. The Angel Long Sleeve Sleep Tee by Victoria’s Secret ($24 at Victoria Secret) 

Just stating the obvious.

9. Light Up Reindeer Slippers ($29.50 at Ardene)

Show that you're really in the holiday spirirt with these over-the-top light-up slippers.

10. Boux Avenue Peta Satin Pyjama Set ($75.17 at ASOS)

#TreatYoself with this luxe holiday pajama set, and wake up feeling like the queen that you are on Christmas morning. 

11. Aerie Flannel Boxer ($9.97 at American Eagle Outfitters)

You definitely won't confuse these cute holiday boxers with your boyfriend's old ones.

12. WILDFOX Naughty or Nice Sleepmask ($35 at Simply Moda)

Just in case you need to remind Santa which list you're on.

13. Aerie Magical Graphic Slipper ($12.47 at American Eagle Outfitters)

Stay cozy and warm in these extra-festive faux fur slippers.

Happy holidays, collegiettes!

On Dec. 9, President Obama ordered a CIA review of Russian hacks that took place during the 2016 presidential election, and Donald Trump had something to say on the matter.

After further review, the CIA reported that they had "high confidence" that Russian interferences in the 2016 U.S. presidential election were implemented to increase the chances of a Trump presidency. This is a big deal because before, people thought Russia could have just been hacking in order to make U.S. elections seem untrustworthy—not to help a specific candidate. Russia is accused of hacking the Democratic National Committee emails and the emails of other political figureheads, which were then published on Wikileaks.

Instead of directly addressing the CIA reports, the Trump transition team released a statement in efforts to encourage the country to “move on” from the election results:

"These are the same people that said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction,” the statement read. “The election ended a long time ago in one of the biggest Electoral College victories in history. It's now time to move on and 'Make America Great Again.'"NPR points out that Trump's victory was not one of the biggest Electoral College victories of all time. In fact, it was pretty average.

Once the statement was released, Trump took to Twitter to give an unfiltered perspective on the claims:

While the validity of whether the Russian hacks were to increase the chances of Trump winning the presidency continues to be investigated, this is one of the largest hacking scandals of United States elections in U.S. history, and the budding relationship between Trump and Vladimir Putin will certainly continue to receive a lot of scrutiny leading up to the inauguration on Jan. 20.

Dyeing your hair for the first time can be exciting and nerve-wracking. You’re finally making your dream of going from Jackie O to Marilyn Monroe a reality. And although knowing what color you want is the fist step, it's definitely not the only step. So keep these tips in mind before following your tin foil bliss.

1. Choosing a colorist is just as important as choosing a color

Before you jump right into dyeing your hair, spend some time finding the right stylist and salon for you. It can be worth it to look around and check out multiple options. Celebrity hair stylist and salon owner Angelo David knows exactly how to pair a stylist with a client. “Find the right fit for yourself when it comes to a salon,” David says. “We offer consultations for people just to come in and talk.” The best part about going for a consultation is the lack of commitment! You can talk with different stylists and figure out who you will work best with. David suggests finding out who’s the best person in that salon to work on the color you want, because going to the highlight specialist isn’t going to be in your favor if you want to go for a darker color.

2. Before picking a color, keep your lifestyle in mind

You’re used to a standard cut, dry, blow out, and maybe you’ve branched out and done a keratin treatment or two. But color is a different ball game. This stuff won’t wash out in a week. With that being said, before you pick your color you need to think about lifestyle. It all depends on who you want to be. “You have to ask yourself, do you want to be in the salon every 2 -3 weeks,” David says. That jet-black color might be what you want in theory, but in reality, it might not be something you can keep up with financially and time wise. Kayla Graniero, a recent graduate of Pace University, suggests not rushing the process. “Don’t be scared to change your mind,” she says. “It’s okay to just take a few months to think about it.”

3. Go in with realistic expectations

With so much color inspiration on Pinterest and Instagram, deciding on a color is the most fun part of dyeing your hair. You'll probably have a pretty clear vision of what you want your locks to look like. But Rome wasn't built in a day, and your color may not be finished in one sitting. According to David, the most common mistake people make when coloring their hair for the first time is having unrealistic expectations.

“Don’t push the envelope,” he says. “Let the professional do their job properly; you can’t just feel you want to go platinum blonde in one sitting.” This goes back to the idea of lifestyle – do you have the time, money, and patience to keep up with the process? Instead of getting overwhelmed, Graniero suggests testing out hair colors with an app or even wigs to decide what you really want. David supplies wigs and hair extensions at his salon for those who decide they want a change without committing to dye.

4. Questions help you and your stylist

Both you and your stylist need to ask each other questions. David’s favorite question to ask is, "what's the worst thing that has ever happened to your hair?" If you have any anxieties about coloring your hair, you need to get specific with your stylist. Is your biggest fear going to dark? Going too light? Even though you’re a newbie, you should update your stylist on how you care for your hair. Do you straighten it often? Have you ever done a Keratin or Japanese straightening treatment? Any chemical processes or damage you've done to your hair can affect the dye. If your stylist knows your hair history, she will be better equipped to give your hair the love it deserves. 

Related: I Dyed My Hair Platinum & Here's How it Went Down

If only hair could be colored like nail polish, but sadly, time, thought, and money go into dyeing your hair. Yes, coloring your hair for the first time might seem a little intimidating, but it doesn't have to be! All you have to do is prepare by finding the right colorist, thinking about color maintenance, and telling your stylist your hair history. 

December is without a doubt one of the most festive months of the year. The holidays are in full swing, and with it comes crackling fires, reruns of all your favorite holiday movies and presents galore. Unfortunately for college students, the holiday season isn't so jolly. Finals season is upon us, and the celebrations can't begin until after the semester ends. In the meantime, there are cram sessions and a bundle of stress and crying fits left to face. 

1. Fashion is no longer a priority

Sweatshirts and sweatpants are the only way to go at this point. We've given up on trying to look cute. 

2. You can't remember the last time you got more than four hours of sleep in one sitting

Sleep, dear friend. It's been far too long since we last saw each other.

3. Coffee is literally the only thing keeping you going 

What would we do without it? It's the only substance that will get us through.

4. You procrastinate by binge-watching an insane amount of Netflix shows

Netflix is not a way of life. It's an escape from life and all its stress and impending doom you face during finals.

5. You start looking into alternative careers that don't require a college degree

That life doesn't seem so unappealing anymore. Anything's better than college exams, right?!

6. You'd rather watch paint dry than study for any of your exams

Let's be honest, nobody wants to do actual work. 

7. You've had four mental breakdowns within the past couple of days alone

Even slow-breathing exercises can't save us now. 

8. You continually remind yourself that finals don't define who you are 

As you proceed to cry.

9. When you become numb to the fact that your exams are worth almost half of your total grade

You're a walking contradiction. 

10. You feel like a walking zombie everywhere you go

It doesn't matter if we're walking to the dining hall or Starbucks. We feel dead inside just the same.

11. The library has become your new dwelling place

We're there so often we might as well bring a mattress to sleep on. We don't even remember what our dorm looks like anymore because we're hardly ever there.

12. People start to worry you've gone missing

We're literally never around. Finals are all-consuming.

13. No matter how much stuff you manage to get done, there's another pile of work calling your name

Like an ex, finals are beyond needy and just won't leave us alone. 

14. During your cram session, you witness someone having a complete meltdown

Which scares us as we start to wonder why we're not freaking out more. 

15. You fake an easy, breezy attitude when your parents call to see how you're holding up

"Of course everything is fine, Mom." But actually, we're dying and just want to be put out of our misery.

16. Winter break is too close to not hang on just a little bit longer

What little motivation you have left comes from this very fact. 

Collegiates know firsthand that the finals week struggle is real. Somehow, you're still alive. You don't know how, but you're not going to question it. After all, the holidays are almost within grasp. 

Couples who have a certain distance between their ages have added struggles that other couples do not have to deal with. They will be stereotyped, judged and questioned about their relationship. Unfortunately, as with many other areas of life, the women in the relationships fall prey to more substantial judgment. While male friends applaud “their boy” for scoring a younger or older woman, women are looked down upon as gold-diggers or cradle robbers. Along with this extra judgment, couples with a significant age difference have many other adversities to overcome in their relationship and may need some guidance on how to deal with them. HC teamed up with some relationship experts to find out how these couples should handle these unorthodox struggles in their relationship. 

1. You may be judged 

Every couple has a characteristic that makes them susceptible to judgment. People can be cruel, and if couples are interracial, same-sex or have an age difference, they are more likely to feel the wrath of society's judgments. Carole Lieberman, M.D., Beverly Hills psychiatrist and author says, "Over the years, it has been more common to see younger women with older men, so society has become more accepting of this than of older women with younger men.” Dr. Lieberman thinks the stigma that surrounds the older woman and younger man romantic relationships may be a feminist issue. “It feels threatening to older men to see that women today, who are more self-sufficient, can choose to be with younger men. But, either way, you need to be willing to shrug off other peoples’ judgments.” In other words, add another way powerful women are breaking through societal barriers and threatening the patriarchy, by choosing to be in - what some may see as - abnormal relationships. 

2. Planning for a future may be trickier 

Planning for a future with a partner who is significantly older or younger than you may also present an issue. Most couples who do not have an age gap can't help but entertain the possibility of a future with their partner, but the added adversity of age, some couples may be afraid to talk about the image they have in the back of their minds. Dr. Lieberman says, “Couples with an age gap, who want to plan for a future, need to talk about things like whether they want and can still have children, how future illnesses might affect their relationship, how sex might change, how to assure financial security when one partner dies, and so on.” While this advice may not apply to younger couples now, if the relationship continues, they may need to consider this down the road as they both get older. 

Rhonda Ricardo, author of Cherries over Quicksand says, “If you marry a SO with a large age gap you’re most probably on different biological energy levels so be prepared to jump roadblocks about how to raise children or possible not ever have children, far before feelings might get hurt because changing your mind may not be an option since your SO (man or woman) could reach an age that vetoes waking up three times a night for diaper changes.”

On that note, talking about the natural aging process may be taboo in a relationship with an age gap. Dr. Lieberman adds, “It is very tricky to talk about the natural aging process because the older partner has fears that the younger partner will leave them as they age.” Of course, this is a valid concern for the older party, but Dr. Lieberman advises that the conversation is vital to the relationship and “has to be done very gradually and sensitively.”

Related: 5 Signs You Are Too Good For Your Significant Other 

3. Meeting the parents can take on a whole new definition of awkward

It may be awkward introducing one's partner to family, parents and friends when there is a large age gap. Dr. Lieberman comments that family members may offer unsolicited advice and make unfounded predictions about the inevitable failure of the relationship. (Some of us may be able to relate to this sentiment, even if there is no age gap in our relationship.) Dr. Lieberman agrees that you can't argue with people in love (no matter the situation), and even if you are heading for disaster, "no one can ever be convinced of this because at the beginning they are smitten." Just make sure that when it comes time to introduce the family to your new, older or younger SO, don't get defensive. In the end, your family wants you to be happy. While it may take time for them to see that this relationship makes you happy, they will come around. 

Also, Ricardo says, “The best way not to suffer from unwelcome drama in an age gap relationship is to stop any confusion in less than a minute of a new friendship meeting. If the SO’s age difference is completely obvious then the couple must introduce their SO as their SO, not make strangers guess who their companion may be, or the couple must expect to hear the innocent, ‘Is this your daughter/son/mother/father?’” If the couple is hesitant to be honest about their relationship upon meeting family members or friends, they could end up making the situation more awkward than it has to be.

In that light, couples with an age gap may also have to deal with those family and friends who may not take their relationship seriously. If the people you love are convinced that “it is just a phase,” Dr. Lieberman says it may be pointless to try to argue with them, “There is no point in trying to convince people to take your relationship seriously," she says. "Just let them see how happy you are together." It is important to remember that although you may accept the unorthodix nature of your relationship, it may take your family and friends a little more time to be comfortable with it. Rather than fighting them on it, help them to see why the relationship is what is best for you.

4. "What do you talk about?" could take on a new meaning 

With a difference in years between partners, some generational differences are bound to surface. An older partner might not have seen The Hunger Games, while you may not have seen The Godfather. Dr. Lieberman agrees that couples may struggle to find topics of conversation and activities that interest both parties. She adds, "An older partner may feel frustrated that their younger partner isn't familiar with music or movies from the past. A younger partner may feel frustrated that their older partner can't keep up with them in activities such as skiing." Dr. Lieberman also makes an interesting point that couples with an age difference face an added challenge of finding a shared group of friends who are compatible with both of them. If two people are really meant to be together, however, they may have to think outside of the box when it comes to activities and hobbies they can share together. Something must have brought them together in the first place, so they just need to find the thing that keeps them together.

Ricardo invites you to imagine this situation: “A twenty-year younger guy says they are perfect for each other… except in the car because she must tune into to her classic rock and he says he can feel his twenty-year younger skin sag and crawl every time the 1980 rock-stars hit their high-notes while she sings along with those currently over fifty year-old singers. He wonders how many more years he will be able to drive with her without actually sticking his head out the car window, Doberman style, in a desperate search for silence because his ear buds collection can’t block their music gap.” Again, if a couple is truly dedicated to their relationship, they have to find activities, hobbies, and even music to listen to that they both can agree on. Perhaps if one partner loves country music and other likes Frank Sinatra, they can explore a different kind of music that they can enjoy together.

Related: How Much Do Your Friends' Opinions of Your SO Really Matter? 

5. One partner may be a know-it-all

Ricardo brings up an interesting point that the older person in a relationship with an age gap may feel that their intellect is superior because of his or her age. Ricardo says, “If your SO (man or woman) is older and condescendingly acts like they know more because of their age, not because of true wisdom, there may be some hidden jealousy about how you are not aging and they clearly are.” Communication, as in any relationship, is key with couples who have an age gap. If your older SO is constantly trying to throw you under the bus (especially in front of other people), it may be a sign of a deeper issue. If jealousy is not the cause, make sure to evaluate other possibly unhealthy aspects of the relationship.

In response to how to deal with any of these struggles, Dr. Lieberman suggests, “The answer for most of these challenges is patience, finding creative solutions and finding more to love about your partner than the inconveniences that an age gap may bring.” Perhaps the most important solution to any problems in a relationship is communication. If you are nervous about how your family and friends will react to your relationship, communicate both with your partner about what you expect from the meeting, and with your family about why the relationship is serious and meaningful for you. If you and your older or younger SO cannot agree on what music to listen to on the car ride to meet the parents, listen to an audio-book instead. Relationships are about compromise, and a relationship with an age gap is no different. Compromise, communication, and creativity are key in making an age gap relationship work.