Ahh, roommates. Whether you went through a super elaborate roommate-matching process, are rooming with your BFF from high school or got matched up with someone totally random, it’s always nerve-wracking to think about living with someone for nine whole months. Luckily, there are solutions out there to make the nerves associated with living with a roommate a bit easier, such as a roommate contract. Never heard of it? No problem. HC has you covered with a complete guide to all things contractual, from the pros and cons to making a roommate contract, when a roommate agreement can be useful and hints to help you go about making one. 

What’s a roommate contract?

A roommate contract is an agreement (usually a written one) that helps you and your roommate settle on different rules you’ll both follow throughout the year. Most contracts dictate things such as whether or not you can have the lights on super late or super early, pet peeves you both might have and different decisions you and your roommate will have to make regarding your shared space.

Pretty straightforward, right? Roommate contracts can take on numerous forms and are sometimes required for all students living in a dorm. It’s totally up to you (and sometimes your school, dorm and/or RA if an agreement is required) to decide how you want your contract to look, what should be included, whether you want a physical copy or not and who needs to know about it. Even if you don’t plan to write down every single detail of how sharing your tiny space is going to work, contracts can still be helpful. Just looking at sample contracts or different kinds of questions that would appear on such a contract can be a great place to start to discuss how the two of you will handle any issues or situations that could arise throughout the year. Click here to download Her Campus's Sample Roommate Contract.

What should be included?

A good roommate contract should address both of the roommates’ preferences on how the space will be used and general rules for the room. Things to think about including in your roommate contract are:

• Distractions that could interfere with studying (music, TV, friends, etc.)
• “Quiet hours” when you want to catch some zzz’s or study
• How clean the room should be, and regular cleaning times
• When is it okay to have friends over? How many people can be over?
• Rules for anything you two will share in the room (TV, fridge, microwave, etc.)
• When do you need to lock the door? How long can the room be left unlocked?
• Will the door remain open or shut when one or both of you is in the room?
• What happens when a guy comes back to the room? Can you kick one another out?
• Temperature – how cold/hot should the room be? When will windows be open?
• Steps for resolving fights or arguments
• What can you borrow or take from each other’s sides of the room? Food? Clothes?

Need some inspiration? Check out sample contracts students at universities like Case Western Reserve University are expected to fill out, or look at our sample one below. Keep in mind that you and your roommate can make changes throughout the year as well if unexpected conflicts arise. Be sure to discuss them with one another, notify your RA if necessary and make sure each of you gets an updated version of the contract.

Why should I bother writing a roommate contract?

Maybe you’ve started talking to your roommate and you’ve realized you love to stay up late, while she goes to bed so she can get up for a run at 6 a.m. every day. Or maybe you have lots of early classes, while she lucked out and doesn’t get up until at least 11 each day. Whether it’s contrasting schedules, different social lives, unique study habits or just uncertainty about sharing a room, a contract might be a good idea in all these scenarios.

As Shaye Winer, a RA at the Fashion Institute of Technology, points out, roommate contracts, whether they’re loose or structured, can be a great starting place to get to know the person you’re living with a tad better right off the bat. “Roommate contracts start a very in-depth conversation about who the two (or more) of you are and help start a foundation that the roomies can grow from,” says Shaye. “By doing this right away it is easy to avoid aggravating each other’s pet peeves. For example, I hate rap music blasting when I'm studying, and by saying this on the first night, I don't have to awkwardly ask my roomie to turn down her rap music when I'm studying the first week of school because she already knows not to.”

If nothing else, a roommate contract is also a good fallback when a conflict arises and you and your roommate can’t seem to agree on a solution. The solution to what can seem like a challenging dilemma will be all laid out for you, making roomie peace easier to achieve!

Are there downsides to a contract?

A contract can’t serve as a catch-all for any and all problems that could occur throughout the year. Keep in mind that there’s usually nothing in the agreement that “punishes” a roommate that defaults from the agreement, making it easy to break the contract. Bringing up the initial discussion about a contract could also make things awkward straight off the bat if contracts aren’t required in your dorm. Finally, keep in mind that a contract won’t guarantee you’ll get your way. Creating a contract will require compromises from both you and your roommate, so be sure you’re ready to make some sacrifices — both of you deserve to have a comfortable living situation.

I want to make one! How do I explain it to my roommate?

Many schools actually require incoming students living in the dorms to write out an agreement like the ones described above. If you’re not living somewhere that requires roommate agreements but are still interested in writing out one, think about trying one of the following strategies to make bringing up the idea of a contract to your new roomie a little less awkward:

• Send her this article! Use Facebook, Twitter or email to send a link to this HC article with a quick note like, “Saw this the other day and thought it was a good idea. Want to give it a try?”
• Explain what a roommate contract is and why you’re interested in making one by using other schools to provide context. Bring up the idea of a contract and focus on how other schools require it. It must be a necessity at institutions like Case Western Reserve and FIT for a reason, right? By providing examples of where it’s worked, the idea will be easier to sell.
• Wait to bring a contract up until you’ve actually met. Sit down over one of your first lunches or dinners back on campus to see how different the two of you actually are. Both of you have 8 a.m. classes? Maybe a contract won’t be necessary. See what the first few days are like so you have specific examples of things you feel a contract would be helpful towards before suggesting one.
• Emphasize the fact that the contract will benefit both of you. Make sure she knows that you don’t just want to make a roommate agreement to avoid her annoying you, but you also want to make sure you don’t do anything that bugs her.

Do contracts like these actually work?

There’s a reason so many schools require agreements like the ones described above – they’re successful! Says Nicole Gartside from NYU, “Though my roommate and I had no major issues (in fact, we were best friends!), it was always reassuring to know that in case there was ever a conflict, we had a written contract that we could refer back to to clarify what we agreed on in the first place.”

The key, though, is being honest and upfront during the contract creation process. Shaye shares her story:
“As a transfer living in the dorms my first year, I had to make a contract with my roommate. We talked and I told her all of my thoughts, but in turn she wasn't too honest with me,” Shaye says. “She really hated boys in the room and always felt uncomfortable when I brought friends back. She also loved going to bed early, but told me when we were making the contract that she liked to leave the lights on late. This in turn left us hating each other. It's really important to be honest that way you can make sure you are keeping each other happy.”

What happens when my roommate or I break the contract?

Consequences can vary based on whether or not a roommate contract was required, and who oversaw the process. If your RA is aware that you and your roommate have an agreement or if they helped you set it up, let them know and get their help resolving any issues that pop up. Be sure to let them know if you need to make any changes throughout the year as well.

When a roommate contract violation occurs, be honest and upfront about it. If you’re the one that violated it, ask your roommate to sit down and discuss the violation if necessary. If something was damaged or broken, offer to pay some portion of the cost to fix or replace it. If your roommate was the one who violated the agreement, follow the same procedure. Find a time when the two of you can sit down privately and calmly discuss what happened. You can decide if you want to edit or change the contract to prevent a similar problem from occurring again, or if there’s some way to enforce things a bit better.

If a problem or roommate contract violation is super serious, your RA is always a good person to go to, even if they didn’t help you create the agreement. They can help you reach a fair solution and find ways to keep the problem from happening again as well. Enlisting the help of an RA is also a good idea if the same contract violation keeps occurring.

Your dorm should be a place for you to go whenever you need to get away from everything and just relax, roommate contract or no roommate contract. Don’t forget those manners that have been drilled into your head since the days of Barney & Friends, but be sure to speak your mind and share what you’d be okay with and what makes you uncomfortable to make sure your space really is a place you’re proud and happy to call home. After all, they don’t call it dorm sweet dorm for nothing! 
 

The Her Campus Roommate Contract

Roommate One: ____________________________________
Roommate Two: ____________________________________

Smoking will be allowed in the room: __Yes __No
Drinking will be allowed in the room: __Yes __No __During these specific times:_____________

These hours will be reserved for sleeping: ______________________
When one roommate is sleeping, the other roommate may:
__Play music
__Listen to music with headphones
__Watch TV
__Have guests over
__Use a hairdryer
__Have the lights on
__Have a desk lamp on
__Other: ____________________________________

These hours will be reserved for study time: ______________________
When one roommate is studying, these background activities may take place:
__ Music
__TV
__Friends over
__Other: ________

We will keep our room __Messy __In between __Neat
We will clean the room __Daily __Weekly __Monthly __Other: __________

Our cleaning will include:
__Doing laundry before the basket overflows
__Washing dishes after using them
__Taking out the trash and recycling once a week
__Vacuuming once a week
__Making our beds daily
__Other: _________________________________________________

During these hours a roommate may have friends over: _________________
A roommate may have _____ friends over at once

Overnight guests are allowed: __Yes __No __Only if they are female

Before a roommate has an overnight guest, they will warn the other roommate __days in advance.

How often may a roommate have an overnight guest? ________________________________

Roommate policy on overnight guests (i.e. if it is okay to request that the other roommate leave): ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

List of items that may be shared:
 ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

List of items that may NOT be shared:
 ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

List of items that may be shared as long as the roommate asks beforehand:
 ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

List of items that may be shared as long as the roommate replaces them/returns them as they were found:
 ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The door will be locked:
__When neither roommate is there
__When one roommate is there
__When both roommates are there ?
__At these specific times: ______________________________

We will leave the door open:
__When one person is in the room
__When both of us are in the room
__The door will always be shut
__Other: ______________________________

The windows may be open during these times: _______________________

An acceptable temperature range for the room during the day is: ______
An acceptable temperature range for the room during the night is: _______

In the case of an argument, we will: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the case of a violation of this contract, we will: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Additional items to consider: _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Signed,
X____[Roommate One]__________________________

X____[Roommate Two]__________________________

X____[Resident Adviser]_________________________

An American and an Australian professor were kidnapped in Kabul, Afghanistan on Sunday night, an official at their university told NBC News. The two professors were taken from their car after teaching classes at the American University of Afghanistan in Kabul. Their driver and bodyguard were left unhurt, according to CNN. The university has requested that the victims’ names not be released to the public.

The university’s campus was closed Monday and Tuesday in the wake of the kidnapping and ongoing investigation.

No U.S. terrorist organization has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping of the professors.

The State Department only stated that it was aware of the kidnapping but did not comment further.

Australia’s Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade released a statement confirming the kidnapping of one of its citizens and reiterating “We continue to advise Australians not to travel to Afghanistan because of the extremely dangerous security situation, including the serious threat of kidnapping,” then saying that they also had no further comment, “due to privacy and security considerations.”

Starbucks has coconut milk, it has soy milk...but what about almond milk? Sure our non-dairy needs have technically been met, but since almond milk is basically the Beyoncé of all dairy substitutes we were thrilled to hear Starbs announcement that they're stepping up their game. According to Refinery29, customers have been pouring in requests on My Starbucks Idea demanding that almond milk be an option, so starting on Sept. 6, almond milk will be an option at 4,600 locations. 

While you're probably already thinking about whether to order Silk or Blue Diamond in your mocha, the almond milk itself will actually be a new, original concoction—No name brands at our beloved 'Bux! For 60 extra cents you're going to get an almond milk crafted to taste amazing with Starbucks drinks. "We created our own almondmilk recipe to complement our hot, iced and Frappuccino® blended beverages. It was designed so that when steamed, it creates a rich foam for hot beverages and is delicious and creamy when served in cold beverages," Yoke Wong, manager of the Starbucks Research and Development team, said in a press release.

Your iced skinny vanilla latte just got a whole lot tastier. If you're worried that the new almond milk option won't be available at a store near you, don't worry too much because it's likely to be nationwide by the end of November. Happy sipping!

Caleb Peterson is a 19-year-old from New Mexico who's in love with his 36-year-old mother, Monica Mares. They say they're experiencing what's known as Genetic Sexual Attraction, or GSA. And they're willing to go to jail rather than end their relationship.

When Mares was 16, she gave birth to Peterson and put him up for adoption, but they reconnected around Christmas 2015 after getting in touch through Facebook. One thing led to another, and they developed a romantic attraction that quickly became physical. Mares claims that Peterson is the best thing that's ever happened to her, and that she'd really like to be with him forever. She even claims she would choose him over her eight other children. Because, you know, priorities. However, Mares' two youngest children reportedly loved having Peterson around, and the youngest even started callng him "dad." 

An altercation between the family and some neighbors outside their mobile home ultimately gave away their relationship (which had been kept a secret until then), and the couple was charged with fourth-degree felony for incest in New Mexico. They were given a no-contact order—which they obviously breached—were arraigned, and are now being forced to live separately, with Mares being forbidden to see any of her children. 

"It is every bit worth it," Mares told Daily Mail Online in an exclusive interview. "If they lock me up for love then they lock me up. There is no way anybody could pull us apart, and I really do love him. It hurts he is far away. It hurts really bad. I wish I could see him, talk to him, but I can't risk it."

They will face a trial by jury in September, and are also facing extreme backash from their community, including death threats and harrassment. One of their supporters is Cristina Shy, an advocate for related couples who runs the website www.lilysgardener.com.

"It was the same with gay people just a few years ago and now they can get married they are accepted," Shy told Daily Mail Online in defense of Mares's and Peterson's relationship. "Well why not consanguinamorous people like us? We are all adults. We are not pedophiles, there's no domestic issue, we are in love, we want to be together but we are related. That shouldn't be a deciding factor."

They're hoping to raise enough money to get a high-profile attorney and take the case all the way to the Supreme Court if need be. 

So, yeah. That happened. 

Bookworms, rejoice! The New York Times reports that a study out of Yale University has found that the more you read, the longer you’re likely to live.

The study, performed with more than 3,600 participants and focusing on health, categorized participants into three groups: those who didn’t read books at all, those who read books for up to three and a half hours a week, and those who read books for more than that each week.

Those who read the most lived nearly two years longer, on average, than those who didn't read at all. More specifically, the biggest bookworms were 23 percent less likely to die over a 12-year span of follow-ups. Those who read up to three and a half hours weekly (but not more) were 17 percent less likely to die over that period of follow-ups than the non-readers.

Senior author Becca R. Levy, a professor of epidemiology at Yale University School of Public Health, said, “People who report as little as a half-hour a day of book reading had a significant survival advantage over those who did not read.” This remained true even after adjusting for other factors, such as age, race, employment, wealth and more.  

Fox News reports that these researchers suspect that a reader’s survival rate may increase because of cognitive benefits that reading affords, which supports previous studies discussed by Tech Times. One found that children who had access to books made higher incomes in the future than children who didn't.

The average book readers in the Yale study were college-educated females with larger incomes. Being in college, we’ve already got an advantage—So if you’re not reading anything right now, what are you waiting for?

If there's one word that can be used to sum up the Olympics, it's intense. Since the games kicked off, we have seen athletes compete at impressive levels, all hoping to snag gold medals for their respective countries. Although the competition is undoubtedly fierce this year, the best rivalry has to be between swimmers Michael Phelps and Chad le Clos. 

The rivalry between the two athletes began at the 2012 London Olympics, when le Clos took home the gold medal for the 200-meter butterfly competition. The loss was significant for Phelps, who was the defending champion and record holder for the event. Oh, and let's not forget that le Clos reached the finish line just 0.05 seconds before Phelps. Since the major upset in London, Phelps has been looking to take back his title—and it happened last night. 

Prior to the 200-meter butterfly, footage of Phelps and le Clos in the waiting room on Monday night went viral, and with good reason. While le Clos was doing his best to get psyched (and probably get inside his competitor's head), Phelps was simply not having it.

We think Phelps' reaction might even be better than McKayla Maroney's "not impressed" face that went viral at the 2012 Olympics. 

Anyway, Phelps was clearly in the zone before the 200-meter butterfly competition, ready to defeat le Clos and reclaim his rightful title. In the end, Phelps was victorious, coming in first place, while le Clos landed in fourth place. Perhaps he would have received a medal if he wasn't constantly glancing over at Phelps while swimming.  

After defeating le Clos, Phelps put up both index fingers, giving everyone the sassiest finger wag, like, ever.

Considering that this was a huge, well-deserved win for Phelps, we think that his response was appropriate. Keep on wagging that finger, Phelps.  

Ever since this year's Olympics kicked off, we've been glued to our TVs, tuning in to all the action. Meanwhile, in Rio, let's just say that the athletes have been getting physical off-camera as well. Sure, we're all aware of the Olympic Village stories, where athletes competing for the gold medal have engaged in a fair amount of hookups. However, it looks like the Olympians are also resorting to dating apps like Tinder to get their fix. 

According to reports, Tinder usage has increased dramatically since the Rio games started. "The Olympic Games have started and Tinder use has skyrocketed in Rio de Janeiro," says Rosette Pambakian, the vice president of global communications and branding for Tinder. In fact, data indicates that profile matches have increased to a whopping 129 percent, while swipes have also increased. "We expect this trend to continue throughout the Games," Rosette adds.

Moreover, the Olympians seem to favor apps like Tinder because they make it simpler to find dates and hookups. "Many of the athletes prefer to meet other athletes on Tinder and other dating apps because that's easier, and then they do group dates with other athlete friends," a source tells E! News. "It's pretty intense…some athletes wait until after their competition [to party], and then others have hookups between practices because they say sex actually helps them reach for the gold."

Curious to know which Olympians have joined Tinder? Thanks to an Instagram account titled sportsswipe, you can find out exactly which athletes are looking to swipe right. In the past, Ryan Lochte has admitted to having an account and using it to chat with women, but he certainly isn't the only one. 

Through some serious snooping, sportsswipe has found a variety of athletes on Tinder, including swimmers, gymnasts, cyclists and runners. 

Given the amount of gorgeous athletes competing in this year's Olympics, we can't say we're surprised by this discovery. If we were in Rio right now, we'd probably be on Tinder quite frequently TBH. 

The 2016 Summer Olympics began in Rio this past week, and despite the fact that it’s—again—2016, we still can’t escape extreme sexism in the media.   

During the games this Saturday, Katinka Hosszu, a swimmer from Hungary, broke the world record in the 400-meter individual medley. Yet somehow, this incredible feat was credited to her husband. What?!

Of course, we can’t have just one lapse in judgment on the media’s part. On Sunday, the Chicago Tribune tweeted an article on Corey Cogdell-Unrein’s bronze medal win for the U.S. in women’s trap shooting.

Except that she wasn’t Corey Cogdell-Unrein, Olympic champion, in the tweet. She was “Wife of a Bears' lineman." While they didn’t try to attribute her win to her husband, they still couldn’t stand to have her be her own person independent of him. Is there some sort of expectation that a woman’s Olympic medal is not going to be enough to draw an audience to the article? They have to drop in the fact that it happens to be the wife of a Chicago Bear to make sure people are going to be interested?

According to the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune also felt it necessary to initially ensure that everyone reading about Cogdell-Unrein’s win knew that the Bears preseason is about to open, although that paragraph seems to have been removed since publication.

The internet wasn’t standing for any of it, though, and the tweets full of wonderful criticism rolled in.

Sorry to all the suitors out there, but it looks like both of the Jenner girls are officially off the market, with Us Weekly confirming that Kendall is dating rapper A$AP Rocky. While we’ve learned our lesson that we need more than one person (looking at you, Selena!) to verify such a claim, the mag has given us reason to believe that the pair are actually together for real.

While the duo have made appearances together, the first being at Kanye West's show at New York Fashion Week, neither have made it publicly known that they are officially dating. We will just have to trust Us Weekly's sources until the two upgrade to Insta-official status.

Josh Murray is making headlines once again—this time for his already controversial stint on Bachelor in Paradise.

The ex-fiancé of former Bachelorette Andi Dorfman is using his appearance on the show to comment on Dorfman’s book, It’s Not Okay, in which she details her “volatile” and oftentimes emotionally abusive relationship with Murray.

“I can’t comment on specific things in any kind of book that my ex has written because it’s a fictional story,” Murray told viewers. “There’s stuff that’s so ludicrous—how do you comment on something like that?”

But after Murray spewed his distaste for the book, Dorfman decided to clear matters up for anyone left wondering about the authenticity of her ex's claims.

We're sure this won't be the last we hear on the matter. But just because Andi isn't on Paradise (and Josh has been given a platform to say pretty much whatever he wants, true or not) doesn't mean we won't be getting her side of the story as well.

Your workplace should be an environment where you're able to grow professionally and work towards your career potential—and handling a disagreement with a coworker in an unprofessional way can tarnish that. Whether you work with a ton of people or you're on a team of three, it's impossible to like everyone you work with all the time, and disagreements are bound to come up. Read on for some important tips about handling arguments with your colleagues the professional way!

1. Keep it between the two of you

If you're arguing with a coworker, try to keep the details between the two of you. The last thing you want is for other people to get involved, and gossiping at work is unprofessional. There's also a chance that it might turn into a game of telephone, and details about the argument will become muddled and untrue, therefore potentially starting another fight.

"It's best to just confront them face-to-face if there is a disagreement," says Isabel Calkins, a digital marketing fellow at Bully Pulpit Interactive. "The number one rule is not to talk about him or her to your colleagues—even if the other person is [breaking that rule]."

If you're feeling stuck and need advice on how to handle the situation, try to approach a family member or friend outside of work to get their take on it. It's always helpful to talk to someone who has gone through the same thing, and an unbiased person who is hearing the story for the first time may be able to offer some tips on how he or she would approach the situation.

2. Leave your boss out of it

Unless it's absolutely necessary (if there was a threat made or the unrest involved harssament of any kind), try to keep the details of the argument out of your supervisor's ears. Your boss expects you to be able to act in a professional manner at the workplace—employers do not hire employees that they think will become liabilities. 

"Try not to involve your manager if possible," says Mara Hyman, a marketing coordinator at CBS Boston. "You don't want your boss to associate you with conflict and not being able to work as a team. I would only communicate your feelings to a superior if there is a serious situation that is getting in the way of you doing your job, such as verbal harrassment."

If you must let your manager or a higher-up know about the disagreement, make sure that you do it in a professional way. Have the details of the story ironed out and don't place blame on anyone. Speak from an unbiased point of view and let the person you're talking to know the cold hard facts. Perhaps your supervisor can act as a mediator and you can better resolve the disagreement with a third party. 

Related: 6 Signs Your Workplace is Toxic (& How to Deal)

3. Do your best to work things out

You're going to come across people who have different opinions than you, and that's fine. But sometimes differences in opinion can drive a wedge between people. Do your best to work things out with a coworker who you may butt heads with, and try to find similarities between the two of you. You may even end up friends!

"I think the key to handling a professional disagreement is determining where you have common ground," Mara says. "If you're working on a team project, for instance, find what works and make that the focus. Remember that it can actually be a strength to work with people that have different perspectives and experiences because it will only help your company grow."

If you feel like something is wrong, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and speak up. It's always better to hash things out than to let them stew.

4. Take a minute to cool down

If an argument is particularly heated, don't continue to argue right then and there. Take a moment to cool off and collect your thoughts so that you both can come back and work things out with clear heads.

"I got into a disagreement recently," says Julianne, an intern. "We talked everything through so that we both heard each other out, and I suggested that we step away for a bit to gather our thoughts. We came back together a few minutes later and were able to settle on an agreement."

We all know that we achieve better results when we don't try to hash out a fight in the heat of the moment. People say things that they don't mean, and it can bring up a bunch of other things that have nothing to do with the matter at hand. If you feel like things are going to spin out of control, take a step back and think about why you are upset, what you want to say, and how you would like to move forward.

Disagreements in the workplace happen, but if you deal with them in the right way, you'll be able to diffuse any coworker scuffles in a professional manner.

If you find yourself between the two extremes of wanting to be the life of the party and wanting to crawl under a rock and hide away from people for good, chances are you're what's known as a sociable loner. It's a love-hate relationship between you and other human beings. 

1. Texting is a godsend 

A way to contact other people without actually having to talk to them? Best invention ever. 

2. You get legitimately annoyed when people try calling you

A phone call? How dare they! Don't your friends and family know by now texting is how you lovingly choose to communicate? 

3. Concerts, clubs and other loud, crazy venues make you feel highly conflicted

Of course we want to go. But what about all those people? Complete strangers? Yeah, not so excited anymore.

4. You have mixed feelings when a friend cancels plans on you

On one hand, it's a total relief. Now you can spend your entire night binge-watching Netflix. But on the other hand, you were genuinely looking forward to trying that new ice cream shop. 

5. You enjoy being the center of attention, but get easily frustrated when you feel misunderstood by the people around you

If they don't 'get you,' what's the point?

6. You never rely on other people for transportation to parties

We like having the control over how long you get to stay. Having to rely on other people to get home gives you so much anxiety. Especially if they don't want to leave when you do. 

7. Having a night in sounds so much better than a night out to you

Nights out usually include a bunch of heavily intoxicated strangers. It's not that we don't like meeting new people, but we want to make sure that we get to be with OUR people when we go out.  

The life of a sociable loner is without a doubt filled with contradictions. We look forward to seeing people, but aren't always so upset if plans get cancelled or things come up. Solitude is practically second nature, but we don't always mind being surrounded by people. Being friends with a sociable loner has its ups and downs, but it's worth it in the end. 

For the most part, sex is a great time ––but as most of us know, it's not always the most glamourous, passionate, pleasurable or romantic activity. If you've ever had a not-so-hot hook-up (and we all have had at least one), you know exactly what we're talking about. Like the old saying goes, "Some things are better left unsaid," and this definitely applies in the bedroom. Read below for 22 things you should never say to a girl in bed.

1. "We're friends, right?"

Ahhhhhh, nothing like the sweet sweet smell of a fuckboy.

2. "What are you doing?"

Let's all cringe together now. 

3. "Chill with your teeth."

Excuse me while I go crawl in a hole and die. 

4. "Don't tell anybody about this!"

OK! I'll be sure to go tell everybody!

5. "Calm down."

Ummmmm? Yikes.

6. "Let's get this over with."

How about you fuck off, instead?

7. "What's your name, again?"

And in that moment, you realize you've made a huge mistake. 

8. "I'm so fucked up."

Nice!

9. "My ex and I used to do it like this..."

No. Just no. Hell fucking no. Goodbye.

10. "You have small boobs!"

Thank you so much!

11. "You have a small ass!"

Again, thank you so much!

12. "Thanks for that, I gotta get outta here."

C'mon dude... At least have the decency to spend the night before bailing. 

13. "I never go down on girls."

Cool! Lucky for you, I don't go down on guys either, ha ha.

14. "That feels awesome, Laura."

Thanks, but my name actually isn't Laura ––who the hell is Laura? 

15. "Do we have to use a condom?"

Attention boys: Unless a girl specifically says otherwise, always assume you have to use a condom...

16. "Can you hurry up?"

Awkward.

17. "You're not doing it right."

It's a mixture of insulting and embarassing. 

18. "I think we should break up."

Really? You're telling me now?

19. "This isn't as good as it used to be."

How does one appropriately respond to such a thing?

20. "The condom broke."

UGH. Ugh. Ughhhhhhhh.

21. "We can keep this a secret, right?"

Douchebag alert. 

22. "What are we?"

Not the time or place, honey.

Social media has made its mark on our generation. “Tweet” and “selfie” are officially part of the English dictionary and scrolling through your Instagram feed like it’s the morning newspaper is a part of our daily routine. This level of influence has changed the way we view certain topics, including relationships. Although you didn’t sign up for your relationship and social media to intertwine at some point, it will. No matter your level of involvement on social media, there is a dark side to all the positives that come from the good that social media can bring. Below are five different ways that social media is hurting your relationship.

1. You create unrealistic relationship standards

We’ve all seen the posts of girls being gifted hundreds of dollars in makeup or traveling around the world at the drop of a dime with their SO, along with the hashtag #relationshipgoals. While that may be how their SO expresses appreciation for them, there are different ways that are just as romantic in which your SO can express their appreciation for you. 

One of the most harmful things you can do in your relationship is compare yourself to another couple. People only show the most perfect version of themselves for social media.

Alaina Leary, a grad student at Emerson College, personally knows that it’s unfair to compare your relationship to picture-perfect versions of others’ relationships. “Sometimes, when I see a slew of people in my age range getting engaged or married, I start to wonder, ‘Why aren't we engaged? Why haven't I proposed?’ And that reaction sets unfair standards. We're not there 24/7, and we don't know the details of these relationships. We can only judge ourselves.” So even though that couple on Instagram seems so perfectly in love, you don’t see their arguments or bad days. In reality, that relationship you idolize may be battling their own set of problems.

Similarly, Amar Salihic, a junior at Georgia State University, thinks that his relationship, and all relationships in general, shouldn’t structure their bond off of what they see online. “The social media checklist is not the standard you should be setting,” he says. “For example, one of the social media expectations is that you should have all of your SO’s time and attention. You both should value other people and things outside of your relationship. Give each other a healthy amount of time and space to miss the other.”

So while a cute “#relationshipgoals” post may be okay to like, don’t read too much into it or try to be like them. You and your SO are two completely different people and are allowed to love each other in ways that you both see fit.

2. Your SO keeps you a secret online

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Whether you like it or not, we’re part of a generation that is attached to social media. Since middle school, things aren’t considered official until it’s Facebook official or more commonly now, it’s not official until a couple photo is posted on Instagram for the world to see. For every girl who’s being shown off as the world’s greatest gift by her SO on social media, there is a girl who has wondered at least once why her SO doesn’t show her off the same way. This leaves a big question: Are you justified in expecting your SO to show you off on social media?

While you shouldn’t expect to wake up to a #WCE post every morning, Dr. Patrick Wanis, a behavior and relationship specialist, thinks it’s a definite warning sign if you can’t find a trace of yourself on your SO’s page.

“The only exception to that would be if that person is extremely private and doesn’t post anything about any of their other relationship, specifically their relationship with friends,” he says. “If your SO never mentions you, nor post photos of you or with you, then what it says is that that person doesn’t want the world to know about the relationship. So they’re either hiding the relationship and are embarrassed by it, hiding multiple relationships, or they want the world to know that they’re single and available.”

If your SO is active on social media, they have signed up for people to know their business. You should be a large part of their lives, therefore it should in some way be known that your SO is in a relationship if you two have agreed to be serious.

Related: 24 Things Couples Do That Are Annoying AF

3. You’re consumed with constantly updating your relationship

On the other hand, we all know the couples that post something about each other every second. Not every aspect of your relationship should be posted online. Your relationship requires a bit of privacy. The world shouldn’t know every time things are rocky between you two.

“Social media is not your therapist,” Wanis adds. “Why do you need to tell about every detail? That type of behavior leads to narcissism, egocentricity and basic selfishness … you have to look for the balance. If you’re posting all day long, when do you have time to the relationship?”

Sharing too much, too often, leaves your business as fair game for the public to ask questions and be nosy. “I believe there is such a thing as over-sharing,” Salihic also says. “It adds too much value to social media, it puts people in your business, and it can create a sense of false validation.”

So instead of looking for the perfect filter to compliment the hundredth photo of you and your partner kissing, pick up the phone and talk to them. Remind them why they still have all of your love and affection hundreds of photos later.

4. You or your SO keep each other’s social media page under surveillance

It’s completely normal to check on your SO’s page every once in a while. However, if it’s been two hours and you’re refreshing the following tab on Instagram to see if your SO liked anybody else’s photos, you should consider a career with the FBI or simply realize how problematic that behavior is.

If you are expecting to catch your SO liking or commenting or another person’s pictures, then that clearly exemplifies the lack of trust in the relationship.

A like here and there on his friend’s pictures shouldn’t be a problem. Your SO is entitled to have friends of whatever gender, just as you should be entitled the same. However, if they are leaving questionable comments on someone’s profile that would make people think that they are not in a relationship, there is a problem.

“If you are jealous and see real signs of infidelity, abusive behavior, serious jealousy, or anything that sets off alarms about your SO, don't downplay it just because it's ‘only social media,’" Alaina says. “If your SO is doing something online that makes you really uncomfortable, you need to have a conversation about it and work on a compromise.”

Creeping on social media won’t address the underlying issue of broken trust. Have an open conversation with your SO if something isn’t sitting right with you.

5. It has become easier to be sneakier

While Snapchat’s timer may be a blessing when sending embarrassing pictures to your friends, the app’s inability to store feed makes it easier to communicate with whoever you want, with little to no record of it. This is just one of many examples of how social media platforms make it easier to keep secrets.

Erica*, a junior at Clayton State University, agrees that social media makes it easier, even too easy, to connect with certain people. “Overall, people are a lot bolder online than in person,” she says. “It’s easy to find attention on any social media platform. Even if you have no intention on acting on any type of emotion in person, you can message someone for a night of flirting, and erase it with the click of a button. I know people in relationships that have used social media to talk to other people behind their SO’s back.”

While not everybody uses social media for the purpose of being sneaky, it’s a possibility. Don’t expect this behavior from your partner, but check that you are not using social media for these purposes. You are the only person you can control, so make sure that you have a clear conscious.

Social media isn’t going away anytime soon, so it’s important to incorporate it into your life properly. Be mindful of your partner and your bond whenever you’re posting, tweeting, sharing or messaging. Overall, social media itself doesn’t ruin relationships, it’s how you use different platforms that can cause problems.

It’s late on a Saturday night and you just hit the winning shot of your final game of beer pong. You look up and, as Andy Samberg so aptly put it, “lock eyes from across the room” with none other than your latest crush. You two chat for a while, he ends up walking you home, and you thank your lucky stars that the room is empty when you get there. You pull him inside, and only come back out to stick a scrunchie on the doorknob, officially sexiling your roomie for the night.

Whether you’re the perpetrator or the victim of sexiling, it’s an aspect of many collegiettes’ lives. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t proper etiquette that goes along with it. Check out these rules and expectations of being both the sexiler and the sexilee to avoid any unnecessary tension between you and your roommate this year.

The etiquette of sexiling

Discuss it

The most important part of having the freedom to sexile your roommate is discussing it with her beforehand. Whether you have a boyfriend and know that it will be a somewhat frequent occurrence or you’re expecting to have a few one-night stands or a semi-frequent hook-up buddy, it’s necessary to talk about what both of your expectations are.

Make sure to discuss how often your roommate will allow this, how you’ll communicate to her that it’s happening (it can be a text, the classic aforementioned scrunchie, a winky face drawn on your white board, etc.), how late your guest can stay in the morning if it’s a sleepover, what happens if you both want the room and whatever else you two think is essential to know.

“You and your roommate should set limits,” says Sara, a collegiette at Kenyon College. “As in, like you absolutely don't want to be sexiled two nights out of one weekend.”

It may seem awkward to start this conversation, but your roommate probably wants to know your opinions on the topic as much as you want to know hers. Make sure you get it out of the way at the beginning of the year so that nothing happens that one of you really isn’t okay with before you get a chance to have the discussion.

Give notice (when possible)

Clearly this isn’t always possible, but whenever you know for sure that you’re going to be having someone over for a hook-up sesh, give your roommate some time to plan ahead. It will be much easier for her to find someplace else to hang out if she knows you want the room for a few hours before your desired alone time.

This is definitely necessary if you have a long-distance boyfriend who is going to visit you for entire weekends. Make sure your roommate knows about these visits as soon as you do so that she can find someplace to sleep. It’s unfair to expect her to not be in the room for three days with just a few hours notice.

Even if you’re hooking up with someone at a party and decide spur of the moment to bring him back to your room, text your roomie to give her a heads up.

Coordinate

Figure out what each other’s daily schedules are and if possible, plan accordingly. Have your boy over when you know your roommate is going to be at class or home for the weekend. Again, this will only work if you have a pre-planned guest, but it will make it so your roommate isn’t awkwardly waiting somewhere for you to be done.

Also, if you have a dorm that is more than one room, use it to your advantage.

“If you are worried about it, get the apartment-style dorm with locks on the bedrooms and the sexiled roommate can chill in the main room. That's what was nice about my freshman dorm,” says Andy Bensch from San Francisco State University.

That way, your roommate at least has someplace of her own she can hang out while she waits to get back into the bedroom.

Reciprocate

If you’re prepared to sexile your roommate, then you definitely also have to gracefully accept being sexiled in return. This means that if you’ve ousted your roommate from the room the past two weekends and she brings home a guy, you better be ready to get out of there.

“In my case I've had the same boyfriend freshman to senior year and luckily my friends liked him and didn't mind if he was around a lot,” says Sarah. “So when they had someone they wanted privacy with, I was more than happy to return the favor.”

Being roommates means making these types of compromises to ensure that everyone stays happy and tense situations are avoided.

Be respectful

Last, but certainly not least, demonstrating basic human courtesy is always important. When you have someone over, keep your activities to your side of the room. Don’t go anywhere near her bed. In fact, you should probably steer clear of all of her stuff. Finally, before she comes back, clean up all the evidence. No one wants to deal with the remnants of someone else’s sexcapades, no matter how close you two are as roomies.

The etiquette of being sexiled

Have a plan

If your roommate is someone who either has a boyfriend or frequently enjoys bringing home her flings, it’s essential that you establish a reliable place that you can crash for the night. Whether it’s with one of your friends or your own boy-toy, having a back-up place to sleep is necessary in college.

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having to sleep someplace like the study lounge. Or even worse, insisting on staying in your room and trying to fall asleep to the hook-up noises emanating from a bed that is literally only five feet away from you.

“It’s always the most awkward if you haven’t been sufficiently warned,” says Dawn from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “I’d always prefer being told rather than laying in my bed while my roommate pretends to just be sleeping, restlessly.”

So make sure to find that extra bed, futon or at least floor space you can spend the night when your roommate is busy getting busy. If all else fails, get creative!

“Improvise,” says Nicole from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “My roommate once moved her mattress out to the living room of our dorm when my boyfriend was in town.”

If this won’t work with the way your dorm is set up, try making a deal with a friend who is not your roomie to always let each other crash in the other’s room if one of you is sexiled.

Check in the next morning

You wake up the morning after being sexiled and want go back to your room. But wait! First, you’re going to want to check in with your roommate to make sure her guest is gone. Shoot her a text or give her a call before heading back because you accidentally walking in on some morning-after fun will be unpleasant for everyone involved.

If you text and she doesn’t reply, try giving her a little more time if you’re in no rush. But if you really have to get back into your room, feel free to go knock on the door.

Don’t be selfish

Being a good roommate means being cooperative. If your roommate is sexiling you night after night, you have a legitimate reason to be upset and you should talk to her about it. But if it’s only every once in a while, you should be reasonable. Sexiling is a typical aspect of dorm life and as long she’s not abusing her privileges, try to be easygoing about it. And of course, you’ll want her to return the favor.

However, if it ends up being a repetitive issue, try talking to your RA about it.

“My freshman year roommate sexiled me several times,” says Alexa from James Madison University. “Her boyfriend from back home decided to surprise her at school for what originally was a weekend but ended up being the entire week. At the end of the seventh day I confronted her and said he had to go or I was going to get the RA involved.”

There you have it! By following these etiquette rules for sexiling and being sexiled, you’ll be able to have a good time without starting World War III with your roomie. Get out there, have fun and be safe, collegiettes!

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston (aka Hiddleswift) can't catch a break, huh? Ever since the two made their public debut as a couple, they have dealt with bad press because some believe the pairing to be nothing more than a publicity stunt. Fast forward a couple months, and they are still going strong.

Now a Hollywood heavy hitter is taking on Hiddleswift. In honor of Hiddleston’s new Instagram account, Robert Downey Jr. decided to have a little fun with his Avengers co-star. Remember when Tom was snapped wearing a white tank that read "I heart T.S.", essentially proclaiming his love at Taylor's much-talked-about Fourth of July celebration? In perfect comedic fashion, RDJ says the shirt is in reference to his Marvel character Tony Stark, who of course has the same initials as Taylor.

Notwithstanding your allegiances to the couple, or lack thereof, surely we can all be in agreement that this was one good joke. Here's hoping Hiddleston will join in on the fun with his own cheeky Insta!

We all *knew* Taylor Swift's "Back to December" was about Taylor Lautner, but it's always nice to be proven right. 

Our suspicions were confirmed by the glorious Lea Michele, during a Facebook Live chat to promote the new season of Scream Queens. Between Lea, Taylor and John Stamos, it was Stamos who broached the subject, gently prodding Taylor by suggesting that he has "dated quite a few girls." Lea wasted no time, adding, "You dated Taylor Swift. I remember that." 

Lea then mentioned that T. Swift wrote a song about their relationship. It looks like Lautner couldn't take the pressure because he finally interrupted Lea with the words we've been waiting to hear since 2010: "It's called 'Back to December.'" 

The life-altering convo takes place shortly after the 9:00 mark.

Of course, Taylor Squared is far behind us now. But "Back to December" will live on forever. 

At the end of every student's high school career, every thought going through her mind is utterly consumed by the anticipation of college. You carefully craft a specific list, keeping in mind each and every element that you want to see at your future university. For most people, things like location, program strength, tuition costs and ranking are among the criteria they consider when choosing which college will be their new home come fall. However, a large portion of high school seniors have yet another benchmark to take into account when making this decision: is the campus LGBTQ+ friendly?

Leaving home for the first time is terrifying enough without contemplating whether or not your classmates and professors are going to accept you for who you are, or patronize you for your lifestyle. Although there is littler tolerance in society for discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community, especially on college campuses, it doesn’t mean that the intolerance for the community does not exist. Since it is frowned upon by many to show prejudice against specific groups, most colleges don’t come right out and advertise that they have hostile or unfavorable feelings towards the LGBTQ+ community, therefore, it can be difficult to decipher which colleges are going to welcome you with open arms.

If an LGBTQ+ friendly campus is something that is on your checklist when it comes to choosing a college, these are the things to look out for when investigating potential universities.

1. There are active LGBTQ+ clubs and organizations on campus

A lot of universities have clubs or organizations that bring together people of the LGBTQ+ community. Mentorship programs, social clubs and support groups are all popular organizations that appear on many college campuses across the country and most of the time, these groups are open to all students, not only those in the LGBTQ+ community. This coming together of the entire campus is a great way to strengthen the acceptance and understanding the LGBTQ+ community and to help the LGBTQ+ students meet more people within their community. Additionally, with an increase in understanding and acceptance, hate and discrimination have a lesser chance of flourishing on campus.

Some schools even have physical spaces dedicated to the LGBTQ+ community and others groups of diversity on campus.  Ian O’Kelly, a sophomore at George Washington University, says “one thing that's nice is that on my campus, we have a building for it,” referring to his school’s “diversity building.” Offering spaces like this to students allows them to have a safe space where they know they will be accepted and gives them a place to meet other people in their own community.

New York University is one school that is known for its acceptance and celebration of the LGBTQ+ community. Jessica Ryder, a sophomore at NYU says “At my school we have a queer union, but also various smaller clubs under the umbrella of LGBTQ+ (a girls’ club for cis or trans girls to discuss problems that queer girls face, a boys’ club for similar issue, a trans club, etc). The union is accepting of all identities.” With a quick visit to the NYU website, information about these organizations is easily found. This is true for most all colleges; if they have LGBTQ+ clubs or organizations, you will be able to find it on their website. If a school offers these opportunities, it is safe to say that they are both supportive and accepting of the LGBTQ+ community.

2. They offer gender-neutral housing and bathrooms

Even though parts of America are struggling with the idea of gender-neutrality where we pee, a lot of progressive colleges actually offer gender-neutral housing options AND gender-neutral bathrooms — imagine that! Schools like Gettysburg College, Brown University,  and Harvard University all have gender-neutral housing options available to students who either feel that they don’t fit into the gender-norms of their biological gender or just feel they’d be more comfortable living with someone of the opposite gender. 

In addition to allowing students to live freely and happily, many colleges now also allow all students to pee freely as well. The universities mentioned before, as well as many others, are beginning to add gender-neutral bathroom options on campus in order to ensure that every student feels comfortable. Information of gender-neutral housing and restrooms can be found on many universities websites as well as a number of other sources. For example, this website has a complete list of all of the colleges and universities in the U.S. that offer gender-neutral housing and restrooms on campus.

Related: 5 Reasons You Should Major or Minor in LGBTQ+ Studies 

3. There are visible signs of LGBTQ+ pride on campus

It can be hard to get a true feel of a college just from researching online. During your college visits, pay close attention to whether or not you see any visible signs of LGBTQ+ pride. Seeing rainbow flags or flyers advertising LGBTQ+ events are some examples of positive signs of LGBTQ+ acceptance and pride on campus. “I remember seeing two people of the same gender holding hands one day on campus and it made me happy to see that they were able to be open about their sexuality on our campus,” says Madison Sokol, sophomore at the University of Florida.

As a prospective student, make sure to take a tour of all of the schools that you are seriously considering. It is always possible that a school’s website is misleading, so be sure to go there physically and see if all of its promises hold up true.

4. They offer classes focusing on LGBTQ+ studies

While many schools have classes, majors and minors about women’s studies, a number of colleges are now offering the same opportunities for LGBTQ+ studies. Seeing majors and minors offered in areas like “gender identity studies,” “queer studies,” “sexual diversity” and many other similar subjects, hint at an LGBTQ+ friendly faculty and overall campus.

5. Campus leaders are a part of the LGBTQ+ community

On a campus that does not openly accept people of the LGBTQ+ community, it will be much more difficult for them to rise into leadership positions and develop a voice that is to be heard. “My cohort leader is bi, my ASL (American Sign Language) teacher is a lesbian, the ASL department head is gay, and another professor I know is transgender. These are respected individuals who are open about their identities. I see this as a sign that the school as an institution respects these people and acknowledges that it is important to have diverse identities not only in the student body but in the staff.” says Jessica, sophomore at NYU. Knowing that prominent leaders on campus, as well as outstanding members of the faculty not only support, but are a part of, the LGBTQ+ community is a way to tell that the school respects the community and welcomes it on campus.

Although you will come across more personal information about professors and leaders once you are already enrolled, it is also possible to research this before hand. A lot of professors and other faculty members have listed that they are strongly involved in LGBTQ+ activism and other programs, proving their acceptance and appreciation for the community.

Whether you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, or just a strong supporter of the acceptance of it, finding a school that is LGBTQ+ friendly can be imperative to your college experience. Finding a school that you are both happy and accepted at is a key component to thriving in the next chapter of your life. Before committing to a school, make sure to do plenty of research not only on the football team’s record or how strong their pre-med program is, but to also take into account the school’s values and tolerance for diversity. 

Oh, Evan… When we heard you were going to be on Bachelor in Paradise, we thought it would be your big chance to show the world how cool and awesome you are! How you are more than just a penis doctor. And how all the ladies actually love you IRL. Well, turns out we were wrong. After this week's BIP, we can't help but feel sorry for Evan. And it's not just because of Carly. Okay, well maybe that's a large part of it, but he put that on himself. Even so, here are six times we actually felt sorry for Evan. 

1. When he was reminiscing on THE kiss

2. And then he got blindsided and dumped

We want to say we didn't see this coming but…we all did. You just didn't, Evan. 

3. And then he cried

4. When he made his own date card

5. THIS WHOLE DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN

6. And to top it off, this tweet

Ugh come on, Evan. You are better than this! In the words of Justin Bieber, just freaking love yourself. 

The Kardashians have been known to stir up drama within the entertainment world, whether it involves bold outfit choices or their views on feminism. In the past, the Kardashians have even been accused of cultural appropriation on several occasions. Both Kylie and Khloe were accused of cultural appropriation after being spotted with cornrows—but that's not the only time Khloe's style choices have landed her in hot water. 

There were also the times when she went to Dubai wearing a Niqab, wore a Native-American headdress, and donned traditional Arabian clothes. On each of these occasions, Khloe has been called out for wrongfully borrowing the traditions of other cultures. For many, the heart of the issue is that people like Khloe don't seem to understand the cutlural significance of certain garments and hairstyles. 

Despite past incidents, it looks like Khloe still hasn't learned that cultural appropriation is unacceptable. Or perhaps she genuinely isn't aware that she sometimes offends particular cultures. Just this week, Khloe took to Instagram to show off a photo featuring her OOTD. 

While her outfit looked perfectly acceptable, it was her hairstyle that outraged people. In the photo, she is seen sporting Bantu knots, a traditional hairstyle that was created by South African Zulu tribes. The knots themselves look cute, but they're also used in order to achieve natural, loose waves later.

For most people, the outrage stems from the fact that Khloe previously uploaded the photo with the caption "Bantu babe," before deleting and re-uploading the pic with a different caption. With her new caption, she failed to acknowledge the Bantu culture—leading some to post angry tweets and comments on Khloe's social media. 

Since posting the photo, Khloe has yet to give a proper explanation, but she did tweet a few general comments in response to the backlash: