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14 College Women Get Real About the Presidential Election

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In an NBC-Wall Street Journal national poll released last month, 6 in 10 Americans said they could not see themselves voting for any of the most likely presidential candidates, who at the time were Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump and Ted Cruz. 

A meme that recently went viral read “I don’t think America should elect any president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.”

It’s not exactly looking good.

We wanted to know how college women feel about the presidential candidates, so we asked 14 of get honest with us.

“I'm not really happy with any of the candidates completely; there is no individual candidate that I am able and willing to support wholeheartedly. Of the Democratic candidates I prefer Bernie over Hillary because he seems more genuine to me. He has stood up for what he thinks is right his entire life and has never changed his stance, which appeals to me since I am quite passionate about social justice. However, I will vote for whomever I need to come November to prevent Trump from becoming president. Whether he is kidding about his racist and sexist rhetoric or not, he is an embarrassment to the United States and would represent us poorly on the world stage.”

-Emma, The University of Alabama Class of 2018

“I’m disappointed that people are so upset with the system that they choose Trump and so blind to corruption that they choose Hillary.”

-Abigail, University of West Florida Class of 2019

“On the Republican side, I feel the quality of the candidate (singular, since Trump is the last man standing) is very poor. Trump does not have the qualifications to be the future POTUS because he has no experience in politics and government. He is poor communicator and lacks professionalism in all aspects of his demeanor. He is fueling his campaign by feeding fear to his voters. His plans and calls to action do not make sense because they are unrealistic, poorly executed, and not well thought out. His words are contradictory to his actions, and his presence is causing the tension in the Republican Party. On the Democrats side, I believe the remaining candidates, Clinton and Sanders, are both qualified for candidacy. They both provide detailed, well thought out stances on health care reform, education, and civil rights. Sanders has a strong millennial following, and I like his ideas of free education and health care. The problem is those two ideologies are very hard to measure and implement. Who is going to take the burden of paying for these free services? Americans have a hard time dealing with paying taxes, and the idea of paying more taxes is going to be hard to persuade. Clinton wants to restructure our health hare system and the Affordable Health Care Act to fix some cracks within the reform. She also is a strong advocate of Equal Pay and Civil Rights which I believe are serious issues in our country that are too easily overlooked. I believe Hillary Clinton is going to be the next Democratic candidate, because she has a stronger following and stronger campaign. She has been our Secretary of State, the First Lady, and the senator of New York. What a resume, am I right?”

-Nicole, San Francisco State University Class of 2016

RELATED: 21 College Women Get Real About Donald Trump

“It’s complete crap. I want a re-do.”

-Macy, FSW Class of 2021

“You have a cool grandpa, an unhip lady, and a bigoted carrot. Please, America, #FeeltheBern”

-Shu, University of Toronto Class of 2017

“The only real candidate running is Bernie, and he himself overall is an outstanding candidate and would make a wonderful president. But the overall quality of the candidates sucks ass.”

-Alyssa, Florida State University Class of 2018

“I hate that this is the first election I get to vote in. A part of me believes that it's been the biggest prank in human history, and now we're waiting for them to bring out the real candidates.”

-Kristen, Florida Southern College Class of 2019

RELATED: 12 College Women Get Real About Hillary Clinton

“How am I expected to vote...?

Trump is a narcissist. While he’s never actually been diagnosed, he fits all the mental disease qualifications. On top of that he degrades women every chance he gets, wants Muslims to ID themselves, next thing we know, we could be in Germany during World War II. Also, how are we supposed to trust his foreign policy?! At one of his rallies I went to, he said he won’t negotiate, because he won’t take no for an answer. Can you imagine Trump refusing a dictator and cutting him off? War would literally start up immediately! And don’t get me started on ‘The Wall’. Also, we still have no idea what he’s going to do in the office… all he spews is bullshit.

Clinton is a liar. Benghazi happened, people know about that, we accept it and move on. But what about the several other lies she's told? Would you trust a boyfriend if they lied to you? The first time it happens, you’re pissed, but you move on and it’ll never happen again. The second time, most would forgive, but what about the third, fourth, and fifth time? She’s also a continuum of Obama, but more old fashioned, has no character, and she represents standing still change. Let’s be real, Obama was fine, but his main platform failed, and he did nothing because he wasn’t able to negotiate and motivate people to change, which is why he got nothing done.

Bernie is a socialist. America was built on capitalist ideals. Obviously, we’ve come a long way since then with healthcare and other social programs. Even so, the American dream is to work hard and to achieve your goals. I shouldn’t be expected to take the majority of my hard earned money to those who are too lazy to work for a good future. Obviously there are people who actually need the support through rough times, however I don’t want to support the people who want to spend their lives living off of others. Bernie’s redeeming quality is that he is the most transparent and likable candidate. His ideas sound great, but the real question is where is he going to get the money for these ideas. I’ll tell you where, tax hikes! Yay, taxes are already super high, but are we seriously going to have to pay a crap ton to fund every single person through college. He also has a super weird past about writing about kids and sex.

I may just have to exercise my right to not vote.”

-Andrea, Tufts University Class of 2018

“I only liked and supported Bernie Sanders. I think everyone else was and is a joke. I think it's playing out more like a reality show and not a competition that ends in our country having the strongest leader.”

-Morgan, San Francisco State University Class of 2017

“Unfortunately, I feel as though the candidates this year reflect the sort of fear, anger and frustration the citizens of the United States have with themselves and the government. There are too many extremes (on both sides) and not enough bipartisan conversation with the intent of solving the pressing issues facing our society today. There has been an uncovering of deep seeded hatred that was never discussed and is now coming to the surface.”

-Amber, Suffolk University Class of 2020

RELATED: Here's Why I Won't Be Voting in the General Election

“I think that the common theme of this election, overall, has been dishonesty. I wish that all the candidates would tell the truth about things that they've done, and tell us exactly how they feel about certain issues. (i.e. Trump used to be pro-choice, but claims that he hates abortion to gain the Republican vote; Clinton once said that "marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman," but suddenly supports marriage equality to please Democrats.)”

-Sophia, Ohio University Class of 2016

“Overall, I feel cheated. This is my first presidential election, something that I've been looking forward to for years. I was always happy that I'd be able to vote in the presidential elections as a citizen of the United States. However this election has turned into a train wreck. Donald Trump as the Republican nominee? Are you kidding me? I don't trust Clinton as she just seems like she only wants power and will change her stances just to get elected. The only candidate I like is Sanders and while I'm trying to hold out hope, he's probably not going to get elected. For me to see the candidate that seems most qualified and has the nations best interests at heart be largely ignored by mainstream media is very disheartening.”

-Hannah, Framingham State Class of 2017

“I honestly have no idea who I'm voting for. Both Hillary and Trump have a history of lying; I don't trust either one of them. I'm banking on someone decent running as an independent.”

-Erica, University of Virginia Class of 2018

“Real question: Can Obama be President forever?”

-Nicole, Winona State University Class of 2016

 


15 Struggles Chronic Overthinkers Can Relate To

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In our daily lives, we all crave a sense of control. Sometimes, life gets overwhelming and things happen that we didn't previously anticipate. But unlike more impulsive individuals, it's a lot harder for chronic overthinkers to just roll with the punches. Stemming from anxiety and a perceived lack of control, little disturbances or a simple change in plans can drive the chronic overthinkers absolutely mad. Consistent overthinking can lead to a host of problems, anything from sleep deprivation to panic attacks just to name a few. Although there are different levels to overthinking, chronic overthinkers are at the highest level -- and this type of behavior does way more harm than good. Here are just some of the struggles every chronic overthinker is bound to face.

1. Texting can never be simple

It's too easy to make something out of nothing. "They didn't respond immediately. That thought bubble has been on my screen for like, 10 minutes. Yep, something's definitely wrong."

2. It's even harder if the person you're texting is your crush 

This is simply not possible without the guidance of your friend telling you what to write.

3. Figuring out what you wanted to major in was no easy feat

You expect me to have my life figured out? I'm still deliberating over what I want to have for breakfast tomorrow morning.

4. A trip to the ice cream shop is always more stressful than it needs to be

Blackberry, cherry, rocky road. The flavors and combinations are endless. What if you pick wrong? This is panic-inducing.

5. It goes without saying you're incredibly indecisive

It's hard enough coming to any sort of a final decision. So, you tend to take it very personally when any decision you make doesn't turn out well. It's all too easy to blame yourself.

6. When deciding on a place to eat, friends know to never ask you to make the final decision

Unless they're alright waiting an hour for you to stop going back and forth and just make a decision. Let's be honest, that won't happen. 

7. You can easily worry about absolutely nothing

It's one of your main specialties. 

8. You spend so much time trying to think of everything you could possible need before leaving the house that you end up very late

You try so hard to be on time. And then of course you still forget something important.

9. You're basically the next Marry Poppins

You think of every possible situation, so you always end up overstuffing your handbag. It's akin to Mary Poppins very own, bottomless pit bag. Which makes it impossible to find anything when you actually need it.

10. Multiple choice exams are the bane of your existence

Way too easy to second guess yourself. Too. Many. Options. 

11. You're no stranger to late-night anxiety

No phone, no activities, no distractions. Just you, your bed and your thoughts. 

12. With that, comes constant sleep-deprivation

You have this annoying inability to shut your brain up. 

13. You think more than you actually do

You have a tendency to get lost in your own thoughts and as a result, you don't take as much action as you'd like. 

14. You can't make most decisions without a list first

Pro and Con lists are a lifesaver. But that also means you spend way more time deliberating over something that others simply don't worry as much about.  

15. You dream of one day making an impulsive decision

Sadly, you know that won't happen. Unlike your more spontaneous friends, there isn't an impulsive bone in your body.

 

At the end of the day, you're forever convinced everything has a hidden meaning. Although you're not a quick decision maker or super spontaneous, your friends and family still love you. Plus, who else could they count on to stalk and decode every Facebook post ever posted, or everything their significant other says and does? Well, they may not always be right but you certainly have a lot of theories. 

7 Signs You Dodged a Bullet With Someone

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Finding a good person to date is kind of like being on The Bachelorette—except the finale has yet to air. Why is it that people get so weird or just generally horrible when you were just starting to like them? Unfortunately, that's one question we can’t answer. Instead, we talked to collegiettes and two experts about what made them walk away from someone faster than you when you're late to class, so you can learn from their mistakes and dodge a bullet when you see one coming at ya.

1. You had nothing in common

Generally, one of the prerequisites for dating you is actually having things to talk to you about. But it's not as easy as it sounds. “Last year, my friends tried to set me up with a mutual friend of ours,” says Gabrielle*, a senior at the University of Southern Maine. “We hung out a few times and I could really tell that things weren't going to go well if we continued to spend time with one another. We had completely different senses of humor and just didn't have much in common.”

Having things in common doesn't have to mean both being obsessed with Game of Thrones, indie Austrian bands and aged gouda. It could be as simple as liking to hike, or laughing at dad jokes. If you don't even have that baseline, this relationship is most likely doomed.

“I think that in general, the biggest red flag is when your friends ask, ‘Do you like him?’ and your response is something along the lines of, ‘Uhh... well... he's really nice?’” Gabrielle says. “I think that being indifferent is almost worse than a glaring red flag, because you can convince yourself that there are plenty of reasons that he's ‘actually a really nice guy.’” But just because someone is nice doesn’t mean they’re right for you. “Too many differences can create challenges that are too big to overcome,” says Lesli Doares, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “While it’s important to have some individual interests, it is what you have in common that will ground you and keep you together.” You can’t build something out of nothing.

2. They didn’t have any interests

Even worse than not having things in common with you (hey, it happens!), some people might seem to not have any interests or hobbies at all. “I stopped seeing this guy because he literally did nothing,” says Delaney*, a freshman at Temple University. “He wasn't involved in sports, clubs, organizations, volunteer work, anything. And he said he was ‘too lazy to get good grades.’ His lack of motivation and goals for his future turned me off completely.” We can't imagine why? This guy seems great?

“It's healthy for people to have an outlet (i.e. interests or hobbies),” says Neely Steinberg, a dating coach and founder of The Love TREP. “Having nothing outside of the relationship to sustain or feed someone might put undue pressure onto the relationship and they might rely on you entirely for happiness—a recipe for disaster.”

Related: 5 Signs You & Your SO Just Aren't Meant to Be

3. They wanted to move way too fast

Look, you’re amazing. You know it, we know it, everybody knows it. So naturally, people want to date you all the time. But what if they want to date you so badly that they go completely overboard? Yeah, not a good look. “I didn't want to go on a second date with someone because he was way too into me,” says Paige*, a senior at Boston University. “He bought me a cactus for our first date (a big one) because I had mentioned they're my favorite plant. Then he wouldn't let me pay for half of dinner when I offered a few times because it was expensive. Then he took me to a comedy club and paid for that too. All the while I had to carry around my large cactus. On our way back he had me wait outside of CVS so he could buy gum because he wanted to kiss me. I was not about it.” We're not about it, either.

But besides just coming on too strong, someone being a little too into you could be a sign that they would be jealous, dependent or possessive in a relationship—all things you’re better off avoiding. “This might be a signal of deep-seated insecurity issues, which will ultimately wreak havoc on a relationship,” Steinberg says. “Both people need to work on being whole themselves instead of relying on the other to fill them up.” You’re so much better off alone than with someone who is likely to bring you down.

4. They didn’t share your values

Again, not having much in common is one thing, but literally feeling uncomfortable with someone’s worldview is a big, big red flag. “Dating someone who isn't a feminist is a big deal breaker for me,” says Alaina Leary, a first-year graduate student at Emerson College. “I had a kind of misogynistic boyfriend years ago and we broke up essentially because he wasn't pro-women's rights and I felt that didn't mesh with my values.”

Not only will building any sort of relationship without shared values be next to impossible, but in the short term, you just won’t enjoy being with that person. For Doares, if “you feel like you have to walk on eggshells or not say certain things because of their reaction,” this is your cue to move on. “In a healthy relationship, both of your thoughts, feelings, and opinions have equal weight,” Doares adds. “Not being able to be who you are will eventually become unworkable so if you don’t feel like your views are valued it’s time to rethink the relationship.” You will find someone who sees your worth, we promise. In the meantime, just focus on being your awesome self!

5. You weren’t a priority

If someone treats you like you don’t matter, it goes without saying that they are not worth your time. “I was into this guy freshman year and we hooked up until I realized he was sleeping with four other women,” Paige says. “We had only been hooking up on Thursdays for a reason…”

Even if you two are just hooking up, there has to be some respect there. Doares also explains that if “they don’t return phone calls, texts, or show up when they say they will, this is disrespectful and they are telling you that you are not a priority to them.” And you deserve to be a priority.

6. They patronized you

You’re a collegiette: you work hard, you’re involved in a million things and chances are you’re also a great friend and a fun person. So if someone can’t see how amazing you are and thinks it’s okay to talk down to you, do yourself a favor and run. For Doares, it is NOT okay if “they constantly put you down, criticize or make ‘jokes’ about you. Feeling safe and supported is critical for a lasting relationship. If you let them know that these things hurt and they continue to do it, they are telling you that you don’t really matter.” Which, again, you do.

7. They were really possessive

Being interdependent is never a good thing in a relationship, so if this person shows signs of being overly needy and possessive, you should probably stop seeing them. One of the extremes of this might be if “they cut you off from your friends and family, keep you from activities you enjoy, track your movements and question you constantly about who you’re with,” according to Doares.

And don’t be fooled: “Some people see jealousy as a sign of love; it’s not,” Doares adds. “It’s a form of control and abuse. A good partner will support your interests and goals, not make you defend and justify your actions.” *insert preach hands emoji*

If you’ve ever encountered any of these things in someone you were seeing, we’re glad to tell you that you definitely dodged a bullet. If you’ve been lucky enough not to come across any of these, be warned! A-holes are everywhere.

5 Reasons It’s Okay to Take the Summer Off

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These days, taking time off for yourself seems to be something that is frowned upon. Combined with the need to make money and keep busy, it can be especially difficult to bring yourself to take a break once in awhile. However, time off is incredibly underrated. Taking the summer off before starting your next adventure in life may be just the right idea.

1. It gives you a chance to try something new

Just think about it. For the past few years, your life has probably been extremely busy ––You’ve had constant schoolwork, extracurricular activities to commit time to and probably a part-time job here and there. Combined with spending time with friends and family, it probably left you little time for yourself.

Cassidy Hopkins, a senior at Emerson College, took advantage of her free summer between high school and college. “It’s a great time to spend with family and friends and try something you’ve never had the chance to,” she says, “Take that road trip you’ve wanted to go on with your besties, plan a weekend getaway with your parents, pick up yoga or learn and instrument.” Now’s a better time than any other!

Taking a summer off from a job or internship could leave you with the free time you haven’t had lately ––and allow you to do some of the things you’ve never had the time or energy for. Always wanted to learn more about photography? Sign up for a class! Haven’t learned how to drive yet? Now’s your chance! Want to spend more time cooking up those Pinterest recipes? Now’s the time! If you free your schedule from the usual part-time job, school or internship, you’ll finally have a chance to check those fun things off your to-do list before you head off to college.

2. You may save money

Depending on your usual plans, taking a summer off could actually save you money. Many pre-collegiettes and collegiettes commit to unpaid internships or move to cities with high living expenses. While internships are great learning experiences and it might be tempting to up and move to your dream city, think about what you could save by holding off for another year or two.

Alex Watson was one of these collegiettes. “I originally wanted to spend a summer interning in New York City, but it turned out that the cons outweighed the pros,” says Alex, a senior at New York University. “It would have been so expensive to live in NYC and basically pay to intern, so I decided to take a summer off at home instead. It was the best choice I could have made because it allowed me to save money and spend time at home instead.” Ambition is great, but the summer after high school might not be the best opportunity to but those ambitions into action.

Though it doesn’t seem real that you could save money by taking time off, it is true. Consider other factors like where you’re living and what kinds of activities you’re doing on a daily basis; they could help you save big. Holding off from some bigger, more expensive plans can actually have more benefits than you think!

3. It allows you time to recharge

When you are constantly busy managing school, work and your personal life, you probably don’t have much time to step back and relax. It can be easy to get caught up in the chaos of your busy life, and taking a summer off could give you the time to take a breather.

Cassidy also recommends using the summer between high school and college as a time to relax and recharge. “You worked hard all throughout high school, and when you get to college it will be just as rigorous – if not more. The summer is a great time to stop and take a step back from it all,” she says. After all, isn’t that what summer is for?

If you’re about to head off in another direction this fall, think about taking this last summer to relax and reassess. Remember that you have a long road ahead of you, and this might be the perfect opportunity to recharge before you get started again.

4. You’ll be working for the rest of your life

It sounds scary, but it’s probably true! You’ll most likely be spending the rest of your life either at work or at school. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, note that there might not be much free time in your future. When you get tied down to a job (or even a school), it can be harder and harder to tear yourself away for even just a few days.

Take advantage of the opportunity now and take the summer off while you have the chance! Odds are, you probably won’t have the same opportunity to take time off in the future - especially three months of it. While you might be hesitant to take the time off right now, remember that you might regret it later on if you don’t!

5. You can prioritize your own well-being

Chances are you haven’t had any “me time,” in a while ––and we could all use some here and there. Take some time off this summer to take care of yourself and refresh to prepare for your next adventure: college!

A summer off will enable you to focus on things other than school and work, like friends, family and your personal health. Instead of stressing yourself out at work, you can relax with family, spend some much-needed time with your BFFs and set aside time for yourself. You’ll have the opportunity to work on your health, get organized and overall refresh before you head into the fall!

While it can be hard to let go of your responsibilities and take the summer off, there are certainly benefits to doing so! Freeing up your summer will allow you to relax, recharge and spend your time checking things off your summer bucket list that have been on there for a while!

11 Signs He Isn’t Worth Your Time

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You deserve nothing less than the best, right? Cue every person in your life who knows of your utter fabulousness: Right. No ifs, ands or buts. Which is why you should ditch your dude if he’s been acting kinda shady (“…ain’t callin’ me baby…”— Beyoncé makes every situation better). Here are 11 different kinds of behaviors you should avoid at all costs in a guy, due to the fact that you just shouldn’t have to deal with them. Period.

1. You’re his go-to booty call

It’s a nationwide epidemic among American men of all ages: Booty Call Syndrome. Those inflicted are addicted to the notion of late-night shags sans emotional attachment. Usually, these guys are smooth talkers with perfectly white smiles and endless witty jokes to dish out (puke).

“Booty calls are too good for you,” says Marla Martenson, a matchmaker, author and motivational speaker. “Save your respect for a guy who deserves it.”

So if that man texts you past 11 p.m. and asks you to come “cuddle” one more time, drop him faster than he can even try to deny his womanizing habits.

2. He’s constantly bad-mouthing his ex

You met him at a party, and he seemed decent enough. But after a few text exchanges, he suddenly can’t stop talking about how awful his ex-girlfriend is (“She’s crazy and totally evil! Seriously!! Worse than Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove!!!”).

“If he can't stop talking trash about his ex, he would do the same to you,” Martenson says.

If he’s hung up on a previous chick’s “evil” deeds, perhaps it’s time to break it to him that now’s just not the right time for you two to start something (and it never will be, but keep that part to yourself). And be sure to break the news very, very gently.

3. He’s secretive (and weird about it)

Every time you go out with this guy, you have a great time—until he pulls out his phone and tries to cover up the name of the person he’s texting. Um, what’s up with that?

“[You’re] obviously not the only woman in his life,” says matchmaker and dating coach Suzanne K. Oshima.

Fact: If you think he’s concealing something, he probably is. Sketchy behavior usually happens because of something… well, sketchy in his life. Rather than try to pry the info out of him, move on. No girl should have to deal with the painful anxiety about what he may be hiding.

4. He never sends the first text

It’s so freakin’ frustrating—you’re always the one to text him first. Always!

“A man who is interested in you will always want to contact you,” Oshima says. “A woman shouldn't have to try so hard.”

We second that—if he wanted you, he’d let you know. So give up the hunt, because this guy ain’t gonna be captured. And that’s okay. Camo’s not that flattering, anyway.

5. He thinks the world revolves around him

You’re in the middle of describing how much you adore hot yoga when he (rudely) interrupts and shifts the subject focus onto him.

“A guy that has no interest in what you have to say is a guy to cut loose,” Martenson says.

If he’s spacing out whenever the topic of conversation relates to you or your passions, it’s time to say goodbye to the dude who only cares about himself (ew).

6. He can’t control his anger

It’s been a lovely dinner date so far. Your chicken Caesar salad was to die for, and your date is charming, funny and totally sweet. That is, until he starts yelling at the waiter when your strawberry shortcake arrives after 10 minutes (yeah—only 10. WTF?).

“A guy that doesn't respect others won't respect you,” Martenson says.

If he’s a total d-bag to everyone around you, it’s time to say buh-bye to that guy. Besides, that waiter was actually kind of cute…

7. He disappears during school breaks

You guys are totally tight when you’re up at school together (he lives across the hall from you—so perf!), but when summer break hits, he suddenly goes MIA. You’re completely baffled—was he kidnapped?

“He probably has someone else on the side,” Oshima says.

If he hasn’t responded to your texts or calls after a week, it’s safe to assume this dude is done. Time to check out the cuties in your hometown (summer flings are so fun!).

8. He doesn’t get along with your friends

You just have this inkling that he’s got a problem with your roommate. He looks annoyed and becomes weirdly quiet whenever she’s around. You confront him about it, and yeah, you were right—he hates your best friend (who happens to be an all-around awesome person).

“If he has negative things to say about your friends, there will always be a conflict,” Martenson says.

Let’s face it: if he can’t get along with your soul sister(s), he’ll never really get along with you—you’ll always be bothered by the fact that he has an issue with your posse. It’s best to not engage in anything romantic with this one.

9. He’s a total flake

He said he’d pick you up for the movie date you had planned together at precisely 8 p.m. It’s now 8:45 p.m., and he hasn’t answered any of your texts or calls. The movie started 15 minutes ago and you’re totally pissed (which you should be).

“A man can say anything he wants, but it's important to watch his actions over his words,” Oshima says. “The right man for you will follow through and do what he says.”

So if he has a history of breaking his promises, no matter what they are—bid your farewell to the fellow who can’t keep his word.

10. He never wants to go on actual dates with you

He’s always down to watch a movie at his place… with the lights off. In his bed. How convenient (cue the emoji with the disapproving, you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me face).

If you’re in this situation, Oshima says, “He's just using [you] and doesn't really want a relationship.”

The Stay Insider is a distant cousin of the Booty Caller (SI’s are much more subtle than BC’s—they’ll try really hard to make you think they have good intentions, but don’t be fooled!). Kick that guy to the curb, which is where he belongs. Sneaky snake.

11. He always contacts you at the last minute

He calls you to see if you want to catch your school’s rendition of West Side Story with him—five minutes before the show starts.

“No girl wants to be a man's second choice,” Oshima says. “Know your self-worth.”

If he always hits you up at the last minute, chances are, you’re not his number-one interest. So screw him, because you deserve to be number one.

 

There are so many great guys out there (cliché, we know—but it’s true). It takes a little digging, but they do exist. In the meantime, recognize when you’re just too awesome for that dude, and move on! You have better things to focus on. 

University of Alabama Football Player Dies after Shooting

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Greg Bryant, running back for the University of Alabama at Birmingham, died Sunday morning after a fatal shooting early Saturday morning. The police found the player in his car along Interstate 95 in West Palm Beach, Florida after he and his passenger, Maurice Grover, had been shot. According to CBS News, police said Grover only had minor injuries.

No witnesses or suspects have been identified at this time.

Bryant used to play for Notre Dame, but left after one season because he was academically ineligible. In a statement released on Saturday, UAB coach Bill Clark said that this year, his GPA had risen to its highest point in his life, according to AL.com. After spending a year at UAB with good academic standing, he could have been eligible to play as a UAB Blazer for the upcoming 2017 football season.

The talented and dedicated athlete was only 21 years old.


Black Women of West Point Spark Controversy With Raised Fists in Photo

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At the United States Military Academy at West Point, a group of 16 young black women dressed in uniform took a traditional "Old Corps" group photo, but their pose spurred a heated debate. They raised their fists—a gesture that has never been a part of historic West Point photos.

The photo was posted on social media and immediately receieved criticism, according to The New York Times. Some people took their gesture as a sign of alliance with the Black Lives Matter movement. While at most schools this wouldn't be a big deal, at West Point, it's forbidden to show any sign of your politics while in uniform.

The academy opened an investigation on April 28 to see if the women violated Army rules that prohibit partisanship. 

It's not known that the women were intentionally showing their support for Black Lives Matter. Some believe that they were simply standing in solidarity as sisters and soon-to-be graduates of the U.S. military academy.

West Point is largely made up of white men. Black women are only 1.7 percent of the graduating class. So, it makes sense that this photo could be seen as a political statement responding to the underlying tension around race and gender at the academy.

The Times reports that people who spoke to the cadets said that protest was not their intention, and that their raised fists simply symbolized pride and strength. 

Should women who were raising their fists to channel Beyonce's "Girls run the world" attitude be punished just because some people believe it to be a sign of allegiance to the Black Lives Matter movement? 

Economics Professor Questioned by Airport Security for Doing Math on Flight

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On Thursday night, passengers on American Airlines flight 3950 sat waiting for almost two hours for their flight from Philadelphia to Syracuse to take off. Why did they need to wait this long for what should have been only a 40 minute flight? American Airlines spokesperson Casey Norton told BuzzFeed News that it all started when one of the passengers told a flight attendant she was feeling sick and asked to be taken off the flight. However, once she got off the plane she shared with the staff that she had suspicions about the man sitting next to her.

The man turned out to be Guido Menzio, an Italian economics professor working for the University of Pennsylvania. When officials found out who the woman was talking about, they escorted Menzio off the plane to be questioned. In an email to the Associated Press he explained, "The woman was concerned that I was a terrorist because I was writing strange things on a pad of paper." The writing turned out to be Menzio's attempt to solve a differential equation in preparation for a speech he would be giving to Queen's University students in Ontario in the near future. Once officials determined that the woman's allegations were not credible, the flight was finally able to take off.

Menzio shared with The Washington Post that despite the suspicion of his fellow passenger that he could be a terrorist, he was treated with respect during questioning as well as for the rest of the flight. He believes that xenophobia, encouraged especially during this current presidential campaign, may have been a reason for the woman's suspicion of her foreign-looking seat mate. Although it may be good that airlines are taking passenger concerns seriously, they may be taking things too far. Perhaps there would have been a better way to deal with this situation than delaying a short flight for multiple hours just because of a math problem.


How to Nail Your Interview Thank You Notes

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For someone with a killer resume and on-point interview skills, you probably think you’ve got this job or internship in the bag. There can’t be much more to it than that, right? Wrong. You’ve still got to thank the interviewer!

A lot of us remember writing thank you notes to all of our friends after our birthday parties when we were little, and we still might send one Grandma’s way after she sends us a birthday check. An interview thank you note isn’t much different! Interview thank you notes are quick notes, most often sent by email, that you send to follow up after interviews.

While many of us have heard about sending thank you notes following an interview, they can still be an enigma. How long should you wait to send them? Whom should you send them to? And what do you even write in them?

We talked with Shannon Curtis, the assistant director of Assumption College’s Career Development and Internship Center, as well as Barry Drexler, expert interview coach, to answer any questions you may have about writing the perfect thank you note.

Why are thank you notes important?

You might not think that a simple note could be important, but believe us, it is. According to Curtis, thank you notes are crucial, and for a bunch of different reasons.

“Following up with a well-written thank you note reaffirms your interest in the role and your excitement to be considered for the opportunity,” she says. “It also makes the interviewer think of you after you leave the office.”

Have you ever worried about making a strong impression on an interviewer? What about the number of other candidates for the job? Writing an awesome thank you note is a great way to tell an interviewer why you want this job more than anyone else and why you’ll do it better than anyone else. Thank you notes also show that you respect and value other people’s time, which is always an attractive quality in a prospective employee. By thanking the interviewer for their time, you’re making yourself stand out for understanding the importance of someone’s time.

How long should you wait to send it out?

We know what you’re thinking: Thank you notes do seem important, so after acing your interview, when should you send your thank you note out?

Curtis suggests doing so within a 48-hour period and being conscious of the hiring timeline. You want to make sure your thank you note reminds the interviewer of who you are and how awesome you are, so sending it a day after the interview, when you may have slipped a bit from the interviewer’s mind, is a good idea. Remember that some companies want quick turnaround on the hiring process—you don’t want to send your thank you note after they’ve hired someone else for the position!

If you specifically heard something about the hiring timeline, go off that. For instance, if the company is looking to hire someone within 24 hours, you should definitely get your thank you note out ASAP, according to Curtis.

Because you are being mindful of the hiring timeline, it’s usually safer to stick with email thank you notes. This ensures that the hiring manager will receive your thank you note before the hiring decision is made and that it’s not lost in transit on the way to their office. It’s usually best to send the email out during work hours (between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m.). Not only does this ensure that the hiring manager will see the email as soon as it arrives in his or her inbox, but it will show that you respect the boundary between the interviewer’s work and personal lives.

For a lot of cases, that 48-hour time period provides the perfect time frame to make sure you’re accomplishing both things: reminding the interviewer of your credentials and still getting it to him or her before it might be too late.

Whom should you send it to?

It might seem pretty basic that you’d send your thank you note to the hiring manager who interviewed you, but don’t forget to thank the people who helped you on the way to that interview.

“You should always send a thank you note directly to anyone who has helped you in the interview process,” Curtis says. “If you obtained the interview as a result of networking, thank the person who gave you the connection.”

That’s to say, you should be sending out an email to each individual person who interviewed you. It shouldn’t be a mass email—instead, personalize it. Remember, these people work in the same office and for the same company, and if you send them all an identical thank you note, they’ll know, and it will look completely impersonal and detached. Be sure to make your thank you emails unique to each individual!

Curtis suggests grabbing a business card from each person you talk to on the day of your interview to keep everyone you’ll be writing to straight. This is also a great way to obtain their contact information and to double-check that you have the spellings of their names correct.

Curtis also says that many interviewers ask for feedback from other people within the company, including secretaries, recruiters and anyone else who may have interacted with you throughout the application process. While you probably don’t need to send a thank you email to the secretary who signed you into the building, genuinely thanking him or her in person after he or she helps you is definitely a good idea. You never know who will be talking to the hiring manager, so it’s best to leave the most professional and gracious impression on everyone you encounter.

How much should you talk about yourself and your credentials?

We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again—your thank you note is one more chance to remind your interviewer of how great you are! Take this chance and run with it.

This isn’t to say you should regurgitate your resume on your thank you note; the interviewer already has your resume. Instead, touch upon a few of your skills that are really specific to the job you’re applying for.

Drexler suggests you say something like this: “As we discussed, I believe my [specific background] will enable me to contribute to your efforts to [cite key job responsibility]. I’m certain that I will add value quickly and have a significant impact at [company].”

Where he puts “specific background” in brackets, pick out what you think are the best traits you have for this specific job. You could mention your leadership skills from your time in student government or your experience with accounting from your internship last summer. This is your chance to highlight the skills that you have that some of the other candidates may not!

Where he puts “cite key job responsibility” in brackets, choose two or three of the many responsibilities the job listing probably provides you with. Following the interview, choose what you believe is both the most important responsibility of the job and that you feel you can accomplish the best.

How much should you talk about the interview?

Chances are, you’re not the only person applying for this job. You could be one of 10 or one of 100 applicants. Because of this, you need to remind the interviewer of the time you spent with him or her.

“The interviewer might not immediately remember who each candidate is,” Curtis says. “Reminding them about a conversation or something specific that you discussed can be helpful to the interviewer to make the connection.”

If you really hit it off with the interviewer about your passion for the company’s message, mention that conversation. If he or she gave you a really great answer to one of your questions, make sure to mention that you learned a lot about the job and the industry from him or her.

When writing this, you could say something like, “I loved discussing [this common interest] with you. I learned a lot about it, and feel I could learn even more and contribute [skills X,Y and Z] if given this opportunity.” Reiterate to the interviewer that an aspect of the job that came up in your interview is something that excites you and that you want to explore deeper.

What should you avoid writing?

Just like there are tons of things you should do in the thank you note, there are also plenty of things you shouldn’t do. There are the easy things to check for, like checking for proper grammar and spelling, as well as the use of informal language, but Curtis says there are many other practices to be wary of.

“Do not assume that you are moving forward in the interview process or receiving an offer,” she says. “Never discuss salary, benefits or any other compensation.”

Talking about salary and benefits before being offered the job is like asking someone you just met how much she makes at her job; it’s just a distasteful thing to do. It also shows that you’re assuming you’ll be getting the job, which might make the hiring manager think that you’re conceited. Nobody likes the overly presumptuous job candidate, so avoid saying things like, “I’d like to discuss the benefits package that goes along with this job,” or, “I’m open to salary negotiation.”

You don’t need to be sheepish or shy in your thank you note, either! Even if you’re avoiding subjects of compensation and assuming a job offer, you should still express an interest in continuing the application process.

Curtis suggests that you tell the interviewer that you’ll stay in touch with him or her, and that you look forward to hearing back from him or her.

Saying things like, “it was great speaking with you, and I look forward to talking again,” or, “I plan on keeping in touch, and am excited for further correspondence,” to conclude your note is not rude; it actually shows how excited you are for the opportunity and that you are confident that you can contribute something to the company. Close your note by being confident in your own abilities, and you’ll make the interviewer confident in your abilities.

How it should read

With all of this said, what should your thank you note say? It should appear something like this:

“Dear Mr./Ms. [interviewer’s name],

Thank you so much for meeting with me on [indicate date here]. You provided a lot of great information regarding [insert company name here] and [the job position], which makes me even more eager to join your team.

I really enjoyed discussing [insert common interest here]; it was really interesting when you said [insert anecdote here] and it made me think [insert thought here] about the job. [Use this space to connect your common interests to the job for which you’re applying]

As we discussed, I believe I offer [skills A, B and C] to your team. My experiences with [specific background experience] will truly shine in [insert specific job responsibilities here], and I would prove an asset to the company.

Once again, thank you so much for your time and your consideration. I plan on keeping in touch and am excited for further correspondence. As always, you can reach me by the below email and cell phone number.

Sincerely,

[Your name]

When it comes to post-interview thank you notes, the key is to be sincere and enthusiastic. Remind the interviewer of why you’re a great fit for the job, why the company is a good fit for you and why you’re so enthusiastic. If you remember all of that, you’re good to go!

Muslim Student Labeled "Isis" in Her High School Yearbook

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Last Friday, a student at Los Osos High School in Rancho Cucamonga, CA, shared an image on Facebook that is reportedly from the school’s yearbook with a horrible “misspelling.” The student, Bayan Zehlif, looked below her photo and instead of seeing her name, she saw “Isis Phillips.” 


According to Refinery29, Zehlif, who is Muslim, wrote on Facebook that she was "extremely saddened, disgusted, hurt and embarrassed" by the incident. She also said that the school had reached out to her and told her the label was a "typo," but that she didn't believe them. "I beg to differ, let's be real," she wrote.

After the yearbooks were distributed, Susan Petrocelli, the school principal, tweeted that the school is “taking every step possible to correct and investigate a regrettable misprint discovered in the yearbook. We sincerely apologize.” Petrocelli also told The Islamic Monthly that there was formerly a student named Isis Phillips at the school, but she transferred. The school has also reached out to Phillips in the aftermath of this incident.



Luckily only 287 yearbooks were handed out while the rest have been contained, reports The Islamic Monthly. Let’s really hope that this was just a mistake and that it never happens again. 

This Girl's Sexist High School Kicked Her Out of Prom For Wearing a Tux

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Last Friday night in Harrisburg, Pa., a female student was kicked out of her own prom for wearing a suit. If that doesn't make sense to you, that's because the reasoning...doesn't really make sense.

According to ABC27 News, Bishop McDevitt High School, the high school in question, has responded in a statement saying that the student, Aniya Wolf, did not follow prom dress code and therefore was asked to leave. 

They said, “the dress code for the prom specified girls must wear formal dresses, and "that students who failed to follow the dress code would not be admitted." Apparently, the school found out ahead of time that Wolf was planning to wear a tux, and tried contacting her mother to "resolve the situation."

Wolf also told ABC27 that the incident made her feel like a “mistake” especially because she identifies as a lesbian and has never had a problem with the way she dresses until now. The Wolf family told ABC27 in an earlier story that they got a last-minute email explaining that girls had to wear a dress to prom. Wolf’s mom tried to call the school and argue with them, but it didn't work. When she got to prom, Wolf said a school official went so far as to grab her arm and threaten to call to police, so she had to leave.

ABC27 published the school's dress code, and as usual, it's pretty sexist. While there are nine extremely strict rules regarding girls' dresses, the boys' dress code is only three lines long. You'd think that if the school was so obsessed with modesty, they'd be happy that a girl decided to wear a tux—It's arguably the most modest option out there.

“Without question, we love, respect and cherish all of our students,” school administrators said in the statement. Well, they can say that, but they're not doing a great job of showing that.

Greek Life Groups Are Upset About Harvard’s New Policy on Single-Gender Groups

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National Greek life associations are joining hands with single-sex organizations at Harvard University to try to fight back against the university’s new policy. Although Harvard is targeting males-only Final Clubs, the policy will affect all members of clubs that remain single-sex. This is a move that many think will hurt cultural and female groups who find support in these clubs.

Harvard’s new policy says that the university will not endorse any student who is a member in a single-gender Finals club, sorority or fraternity for prestigious scholarships. In addition, members will be unable to serve in leadership positions across campus. The policy was set to begin in fall 2017, affecting the class of 2021 onwards.  

“Although the fraternities, sororities, and finals clubs are not formally recognized by the College, they play an unmistakable and growing role in student life, in many cases enacting forms of privilege and exclusion at odds with our deepest values,” wrote University President Drew G. Faust in an email to undergraduates Friday, according to The Harvard Crimson.

Faust enacted the policy in response to Dean of the College Rakesh Khurana’s recommendations. Although the initial issue was the frequency of sexual assault in all-male Final Clubs, every single-sex organization falls under the new policy. The Crimson reported that Khurana thought that the “unrecognized single-gender social organizations have lagged behind in ways that are untenable in the 21st century.”

Despite the university’s actions, national organizations are rising up against them. This included the National Panhellenic Conference, the North-American Interfraternity Conference, the National Association of Latino Fraternal Organizations and the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors.

“While we understand and share Harvard’s goals of creating a safe and equitable environment for students, we are discouraged and disappointed by the policy announced Friday, as it mistakenly assumes the way to achieve those ends is to punish student participating in single-gender organizations,” said the group of organizations in a combined statement, according to the Huffington Post.

The Boston Globe reported that more than 200 Harvard University women rallied on Harvard Yard, calling themselves the Crimson Women’s Coalition. They say that the university’s ban threatens solidarity among women to assert their voices and their rights in an otherwise marginalizing world.

“My women’s organization has been more than a social organization,” graduating senior Whitney Anderson told the Globe. “It has been a mental health respite, a place to discuss sexual assaults…where I became a feminist, and where I refound my voice.”

Another student at the rally, Caroline Tervo, told CBS News, “Female spaces are crucial sources of our empowerment…I think there is something to be said for single-sex organizations.”

 It would be incredibly unfair to take away sources of strength and power for historically marginalized groups. The issue was brought up because of sexual assault in all-male clubs that reeked of privilege—Harvard should be focusing on those, instead. 

This is How Much It Would Cost to Live in Your Favorite TV Apartments

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Outside of the fact that we all love Friends, Sex and the City, How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory, these TV shows all share one other unifying factor: amazing apartments! And by the New York Post’s recent calculations, they are all crazy expensive. Take a deep breath, and let’s window shop together. 

First off, most of these apartments are in New York City, which means the rent is going to be stupidly expensive. Monica and Rachel’s apartment from Friends, Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment from Sex and the City and basically every apartment from How I Met Your Mother (except Barney’s) are in pricey neighborhoods in Manhattan. Sheldon and Leonard’s apartment from The Big Bang Theory is in Pasadena, California, and at $2,000 per month, it’s still pretty costly.

The New York series' apartments are all a lot more expensive than that, though. Monica’s two-bed, one-bath Friends apartment is $4,000+ monthly. Carrie’s one-bed, one-bath SATC apartment (featuring a huge, shoe-filled walk-in closet) is about $3,000 a month—and so is HIMYM’s Upper West Side apartment.

If you were going to rent one of these apartments, your best bet would be the two-bedroom, one-bathroom HIMYMapartment. Split across four people, that’s only $750 per month. Out of the four admittedly lavish apartments, this one will give you the most bang for your buck. And hey, you might even get to hear the nine-year story of how someone met their spouse (not that we're still salty about that finale or anything...).

Since we definitely can’t afford any of these living quarters just yet, we’ll settle for binge-watching the crazy shenanigans that go down in and around them—until we come into the proper cash, of course.   

17 Things We Can Learn From Our Favorite Fitness Instagrams

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Female fitness trainers are taking the Instagram world by storm. Their progress pictures, food posts and workout videos give us some serious motivation to get moving and actually eat healthy. Here are just a few of the things we can learn from 17 of our favorite fitness Instagram accounts.

1. Kayla Itsines (@kayla_itsines)


 

A photo posted by Kayla Itsines (@kayla_itsines) on


The Australian fitness guru shows us that no matter what your natural figure is, it’s important to exercise and live a healthy lifestyle. Every girl has the ability to become super strong.

2. Hannah Bronfman (@hannahbronfman)



DJ-turned-trainer Hannah knows that physical health is a lot more than working out and eating healthy. It means keeping your skin in check, too.

3. Base Body Babes (@basebodybabes)



This dynamic sibling duo emphasizes that working out with a friend can be more fun and motivating than working out solo.

4. Jen Selter (@jenselter)


 

A photo posted by Jen Selter (@jenselter) on


Selter, the original #bootygoals, teaches us that we should always say yes to squats.

5. The College Dish (@thecollegedish)



She knows that we’re college students and that we don’t always have the means to eat healthy. She makes eating clean in college easy. Who knew you could make sodium-laden ramen into a gourmet, nutritious meal?

6. Caitlin Turner (@gypsetgoddess)



The wanderlust enthusiast and yogi  shows us that you can do yoga literally anywhere. No excuses!

7. Misty Copeland (@mistyonpointe)



Copeland knows that ballerinas are a graceful force of nature. Her athletic build defies typical ballet stereotypes; she is an inspiration to ballet hopefuls across the world.

8. Nutrition Stripped (@nutritionstripped)



This dietician knows that smoothie bowls are in vogue—and for good reason! They provide a good source of complex carbohydrates and micronutrients like vitamin C and calcium, and they’re so Insta-worthy!

Related: 7 Ways to Motivate Yourself to Use the College Gym This Year

9. Iskra Lawrence (@iamiskra)


 

A photo posted by iskra (@iamiskra) on


The Aerie model and body positivity advocate shows us that you don’t have to look like the woman on the cover of the magazines to have a rockin’ bikini body.

10. Kelli Segars (@kellisegars)



The co-founder of the online workout program Fitness Blender (@fitnessblender) emphasizes that reaching your weight loss goals is possible, no matter how long it takes. Slow progress is better than no progress.

11. Amna Alhaddad (@amna.s.alhaddad)


 

A photo posted by NikeWomen (@nikewomen) on


This Emirati professional weightlifter (who happens to be sponsored by Nike Women) shows us that power lifting is not just for the boys. She pushes her followers to find their inner strength.

12. Tanya Poppett (@achieving_balance)



Poppett shows us the importance of stretching after a workout. If you don’t stretch, your muscles tighten up and you have a much greater chance of being sore the next day and even getting injured.

13. Fitness on Toast (@fitnessontoast)



Faya Nillson, the creator of the account, confirms that athleisure is so trendy. Whether you’re headed to the gym or to brunch, the perfect athletic clothes will take you there in style.

14. Blogilates (@blogilates)


 

A video posted by Cassey Ho (@blogilates) on


Blogilates creator Cassey Ho shows us that we don’t need a gym membership to get our fitness on. All we need is a few Pinterest workouts, YouTube, an awesome playlist and a mat to get a great workout.

15. Jessamyn (@mynameisjessamyn)


 

A photo posted by Jessamyn (@mynameisjessamyn) on


This body positivity advocate and yogi teaches us that everybody is beautiful and capable of attaining incredible fitness goals.

16. Healthy is the New Skinny (@healthyisthenewskinny)



The body positivity brand teaches us through quotes that we should love the skin we’re in, no matter what size we are. Self love is the best form of self care.

17. Tammy Hembrow (@tammyhembrow)



Hembrow gives us some serious mom-bod inspiration.

 

These women embody strength, total health, body positivity and happiness. They’re able to express that through their posts, and we love them for it! We hope that you could get some inspiration from 17 of the most empowering women on Instagram. Go ahead, grab your sneakers, have a killer workout and don’t forget to stretch and make a smoothie bowl when you get back.

My Boyfriend Sexually Assaulted Me & I Didn't Realize It

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By Adeline Murphy 

I was sitting on my boyfriend’s bed playing Candy Crush, as he sat at his desk typing up an essay. I practically lived with him at this point, because he had a single. We were very much in the “honeymoon phase," so being together and alone were the two most important criteria. He was also my closest friend on campus, because ever since we had become an item, the girls in my friend group had become distant towards me. I couldn’t figure out why, but I was hoping it was just a brief phase because, having only been on campus for two months, I didn’t know many other people.

“Jake, are you coming with me and the girls to get ice cream?” I asked.

“You mean the girls and I? And no, I don’t want to miss the beginning of the Wild game,” he replied, as he got up from his chair to kiss me.

This was kind of a tradition between us, because after he obnoxiously made the same grammar correction over and over again, we agreed that every time I said “and me," instead of “and I," I would have to kiss him. Of course, it wasn’t a great incentive because I loved kissing him. I loved him or at least was in the process of falling in love.

This time a little peck turned into a full-blown make out session. He joined me on the bed with his arms around me as his hands slowly migrated from my waist to the back pockets of my jeans. It was nice. We were both having fun.

But I knew I couldn’t let myself get completely lost in the moment. I kept glancing at the digital clock on his microwave, knowing that I had to meet up with Marie to walk to the ice cream place in a few minutes. But, before I knew it, he was sliding his hands under my jeans' waistband.

“Stop,” I said with a giggle, trying to avoid being turned on in an ice cream parlor.

He took his hands back out of my pants and our make out session continued. But seconds later he slid his hand back into my pants and down my underwear.

“Stop,” I said more firmly this time, as I grabbed his hand and put it back on my waist.

Again, he removed his hand and then seconds later he was forcing it under my clothes again.

“Stop!” I said, slightly irritated, physically moving his hand again.

This continued again and again. It was the same every time. He would take his hand out of my pants after several moments of my insistence, but it kept managing to snake it's way back down there. I would protest and temporarily, he would grudgingly comply, until he decided again that I didn't really mean it. I felt out of control. The shock seemed to paralyze my body, as if I was outside of myself watching it happen. As he grabbed the back of my neck to keep kissing me, I let him, still paralyzed with shock and confusion. When his fingers did make it down there they stung as they pushed inside me. He knew that I was a virgin and being fingered was sometimes painful, but it was as if he couldn’t hear me telling him to stop or feel me pushing his arms away from me. He pressed harder causing a sharp pain that jolted me out of my trance.

“Stop!” I repeated again, instinctively pushing his hand away.

 Shoving his body away from me, I jumped off the bed. Looking again at the microwave clock, I could see that I was running late to meet Marie at this point.  I sat down on the floor, trying to lace up my converse as quickly as possible.

“See you in a bit,” Jake said from his bed as I got up to go.

“Yeah,” I replied without looking back.

Upon meeting up with my friends, I didn’t mention a thing to them. I wasn’t sure of what had just happened and knew that they were just as good of friends with Jake as they were with me, if not better. I didn’t know how they would take it. I just did my best to engage in conversation and not think about it. But my mind kept wandering back to what had just happened. My sweet, kind, considerate boyfriend had just… I don’t know. At the very least he had ignored me. By the time I had gotten back from Justine’s, I had made up my mind that I would bring it up to him.

When I got back to Jake’s room he was still typing his essay with the Wild’s game in the background. I sat on his bed again and he got up to sit next to me.

“How was the ice cream?” he asked.

“Fine,” I said, staring blankly at the TV.

After a long silence he asked me if I was okay. I kept staring at the TV, feeling an odd combination of nervousness and numbness.

After a long pause I said, “Did you not hear me asking you to stop?”

"No,” he replied after a long pause, making that awkward toothy grimace that people make when they tell someone they’re invited.

There was another long pause and we both went back to staring at the TV.

Finally I ended the silence by saying, “Go ahead and work on your essay; it’s fine.”

I watched Jake rotate between typing and checking the score, still feeling numb, but also heavy, like I wanted to cry but couldn’t. I let myself fall back onto the pillows as I replayed the incident in my head, trying to make sense of it. As I lay there, not coming up with any good answers, the heavy feeling became more and more oppressive, as if I were weighted down to his bed. Noticing how upset I looked, he eventually came back over to comfort me.

“What’s wrong?” Jake asked.

“I just feel… confused,” I said, keeping my eyes fixed on the TV.

He moved closer to put his arms around me and rubbed my back, seeming at a loss for words.

 “I mean… like… why didn’t you stop?” I asked after another long silence.

“Because you laughed and kept kissing me.” He said.

“Yeah. The first time.”

“You’re right. That’s valid. I need to just to stop as soon as you say stop. I need to just stop no matter what. That’s on me. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” I said, staring at my hands.

“I hate that I made you feel this way, especially because you know how I feel about this stuff. I mean, I stopped watching the Wilds for this, that’s how much I care," he said, referring to his gentlemanly ways. He was one of the most considerate guys I’d ever dated, constantly checking in with me and making sweet little romantic gestures. I started to feel guilty. Like it was my fault.

“So it was just a miscommunication, then?” I asked.

“Yeah, I mean…  you did keep kissing me and…”

So it was me then. He would never do anything to hurt me. He couldn’t.

“I feel like it’s my fault. Like I give out all these mixed messages.” I said.

“Well then we can work on that,” he said, stroking my hair.

He gave me a quick hug and kissed me on the cheek. I remembered how he would jokingly call me a tease, whenever I wasn’t getting straight to the point when we would hookup. He knew it bothered me, but he always told me that it wasn’t a bad thing and he thought it was hot, so I let it go. But maybe this is what he meant?

“I just have one last question and I promise I’ll never bring it up again. You thought when I was pushing you away and telling you to stop that I was just teasing you?”

“Well I wouldn’t use that word, but I mean you are a bit of a tease sometimes.”

I never did bring it up again to Jake or anyone else. I still cared about him and kept pushing that event to the back of mind for the rest of our relationship. I kept telling myself that it was just a little miscommunication and I had brought it on by sending him mixed messages. Still, I was unable to reconcile that night with the sweet natured guy I knew. I became distant and then he became distant and our relationship fizzled out in a couple weeks. But even after we broke up, I still thought about it all the time. I knew enough about consent to know that he had crossed some boundaries, but I kept telling myself that it was at least partly my fault. I felt violated, but I also felt like I wasn’t entitled to feel that way.

I didn’t want to make any accusations; I just wanted to talk it out with someone, but I knew that I probably I was afraid of how people would respond. He was more popular on campus than I was and everyone seemed to think that he was the sweetest guy. On top of that, as I had feared, our mutual friends ditched me and stayed friends with Jake after we broke up. I felt more isolated and powerless then ever. I later found out that he was telling people that we broke up because I went crazy. That sealed the deal for me. I couldn’t say anything without looking like the crazy vengeful ex-girlfriend. I felt more isolated and powerless than ever. I began to withdraw and spent more and more time in my room. Just leaving to go to class or get food caused me severe anxiety. I began to lose touch with the few friends that I had and was missing class more and more. After I missed two tests in a row, my Dean recommended that I make an appointment with a counselor.

While talking to my school’s psychologist, I finally got a safe space to tell my story and get unbiased answers to my questions. Months after that night, with distance from the relationship and a more objective view, I can see that it was not my fault. I got out of the situation before it escalated. He didn’t pin me down or rape me, but consenting to kissing does not constitute consent to any other sexual act. When he did something I was not comfortable with, I clearly and repeatedly told him to stop and he didn’t. He took away my agency over my own body and violated my trust. It was not a miscommunication and I am not a tease. It was sexual assault and I am a survivor.

I did stay in the relationship after the assault occurred, but relationships and feelings are complicated and messy, even when it comes to sexual assault. I hope that sharing my story can help girls in similar situations. Guilt and self-blame are common reactions to sexual assault, especially if the perpetrator was someone you knew well or even loved. I wish that I’d known that it’s okay to be unsure of how to identify your experiences. You are entitled to feel whatever way you feel.

I also wish I’d known that you have the right to decide how your body is treated and if anyone violates this right, you are allowed to talk about that experience. Telling people about what happened to you is very scary, especially if your perpetrator holds power over you, socially or otherwise, but there are resources on every college campus that allow you to talk to someone confidentially, without reporting anything. I can say for myself that just telling a professional exactly what happened, and hearing them say that I was sexually assaulted and that it wasn’t my fault helped so much. I am still struggling with depression and in the process of building a support network and feeling comfortable on campus again. I know dealing with it is a longer process, but stepping out of the guilt and telling my story is my first step towards healing.


15 Times In Life When You May Be Forced To Be The Bigger Person

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There is a time and a place for when it may require you to be the bigger person. Being the bigger person does not mean that you should let people walk all over you; but rather, evaluating your options and choosing to take the route that requires less animosity, anger and energy. Sometimes, when we get angry at people, we are giving them the power to control us as well. In the words of Ritu Ghatourey, "Don’t treat people as bad as they are…treat them as good as you are." Karma will bless you sooner than you know it, especially if you remain the bigger person in the following situations:

1. When your best friend lands your dream job.

You’ll feel a sharp pang of jealousy on the left side of your chest for a while, but if you’re a good friend, you’ll put on a brave face and yell in congratulations. If you two are truly best friends, then their success is your success. Maybe once they’re settled in at the new job, they can put in a good word for you.

2. When the person you love falls in love with someone else.

Whether you love him or her from a distance, or they're one of your closest friends, watching someone you love fall in love with someone else is guaranteed to be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. In order to be the bigger person, you have to support them, move on and let that person be with who makes them happy. If you two are meant to be, you’ll be together one day.

3. When your little sibling gets married before you.

You may have to deal with the annoying teasing from your relatives for a while and maybe even a bit of smugness from your sibling, but keep your chin up and enjoy your sibling’s big day. Yours will come soon enough, and it may even be bigger and better.

4. When your boss is younger than you.

Your boss is your boss, no matter how old they are. It may feel weird taking orders from someone who is younger than you, but just remember–age doesn’t matter when it comes to skill. Respect your boss and try to learn from them in anyway possible. After all, they already earned their place, just as you must do.

5. When you and your significant other have an argument.

Pride may make it difficult for the two of you to admit that you’re both wrong in some way. Be the bigger person, suck it up and approach your significant other first. Lose the silly argument. Not the person you love.

6. When someone close to you screws you over.

Love and betrayal are two tricky things. Put them together and you’ve got a helluva mess. When it’s someone you care about, they’re betrayal will hurt like hell, but you have to remember that they are human, and humans make mistakes. Forgiveness will not happen over night, but it’s worth considering. Forgiveness is closer to happiness than bitterness ever could be.

7. When you never receive a “thank you” or recognition for your hard work.

Sometimes you may never receive a “thank you” for a good deed. Maybe this is because of selfishness, embarrassment or incapability, but whatever the case, just know there's so much value in recognizing what you’ve done (also, karma will definitely be in your favor).

8. When a friend criticizes you.

There’s this old saying about two wrongs that makes a lot of sense. Instead of turning your hurt into anger and starting a full blow argument, take your friend’s criticism and see how it might better you.

9. When someone close to you forgets about something special.

It could be your birthday, it could be your anniversary -- whatever the case, you have every right to be mad. And while your anger is justifiable, you could consider being the bigger person and putting yourself in their shoes. Maybe they have a lot going on right now that you don’t necessarily understand. And on the plus side, when they realize their mistake, they’ll know they have a lot of making up to do.

10. When your significant other has an opposite sex best friend.

This is a classic relationship dilemma that you may have the pleasure of stumbling across. Your boyfriend, for example, may have a girl who is his best friend. They have inside jokes, they share a favorite song and their families are extremely close. Naturally, there will be a lot of jealousy on your part. However, if you want to be the bigger person, it’s up to you to recognize that this girl means a lot to your significant other. Instead of forcing him to give her up, show him that you are willing to try and befriend her.

11. When you have to work with someone you can’t stand.

A bigger person will put all personal feelings aside and get the job done, plain and simple. Save the drama for when you’re not on the clock.

12. When you don’t like your friend’s significant other.

If your friend truly loves their significant other, then it is up to you to be the bigger person and put all personal grudges aside. By all means, let your friend know about your opinion of their SO, but also let them know that you recognize and respect their happiness.

13. When you must comfort someone in your time of happiness.

You just got a promotion and your bursting to tell your best friend and celebrate, but before you can tell them the news, they tell you that their dog just passed away. A bigger person will keep the news to him or herself, stay in, and comfort their best friend.

14. When your boss is condescending.

Your boss may be stuck up and patronizing but at the end of the day, he or she is the one who signs your paycheck. Be the bigger person and hold your tongue until a better opportunity comes your way.

15. When you know that it’s time to walk away.

There may come a time when you realize that you can’t be everything that the person you love needs, or vice versa. It will be up to you to look out for both of your futures and end the relationship before it becomes too messy.

I Responded to Tinder Messages with Rom-Com Quotes & Here's What Happened

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Online dating can be just as tricky and awkward as going on a first date. Although online dating eliminates the face-to-face conversation, it still generates the same feelings from its participants. You still feel the same anxiety about initiating an intelligent conversation with someone you don’t know, the same butterflies flutter through your stomach when all seems to be going well, and, sadly, the date can end abruptly if someone says the wrong thing. On top of that, you’re never 100 percent sure that the person you’re flirting with online is being genuine. That’s why I’ve always admired people who try online dating. It takes guts to put oneself out there in such a public way and try to find a connection with a total stranger. It’s risky, but often times it ends up going well.

I’ve entertained the idea of online dating, but ultimately I’ve been too shy to commit to creating a profile of myself and searching for someone special on a dating site or app like Tinder. Not to mention I’ve heard too many negative things and seen enough rude messages sent to friends to even consider joining Tinder. But then, I thought, what if I tried it out for fun? Instead of taking Tinder seriously and attempt to find Mr. Right Now, I could try it for a month, use it to prank a few guys and make a fool of myself. So, on a whim, I decided to create a Tinder profile. Then, to make things interesting, I tried to respond to the messages I received with romantic comedy movie quotes as often as possible.

RELATED:9 College Women Share Their Tinder Nightmares

When I first started Tinder, I fully expected to be messaged by some immature, bad-mannered frat boys who were only interested in finding someone to hook up with. From what I’d heard, that was the main reason people used Tinder. But, the first couple of matches who messaged me seemed nice. They really tried to initiate a genuine conversation with me.

I initially started using ‘subtle’ rom-com quotes that weren’t too random, like “As you wish” from The Princess Bride (see above), and most of those were not acknowledged by the other guy. The best example is this guy, Jason, who was incidentally my first ‘match’ on Tinder. He seemed really nice but was so oblivious to what I was doing that he inadvertently made it easier for me to insert relevant rom-com quotes to the conversation. But, he raised my expectations of the types of guys I would be encountering on Tinder over the next month.  

The second message I sent here was a quote from the movie Hitch.

I complimented his dedication to kids with a quote from Mean Girls.

RELATED: I Donald Trump-Trolled ALL of the Guys I Talked To on Tinder

Once I got the feel of Tinder, I tried to be more daring and kooky with my responses. I wanted to get bigger reactions out of the guys who messaged me. Every time I was notified that I got a response to one of my bizarre rom-com quotes, I felt a rush of both adrenaline and anxiety; there was no telling how any of these guys would respond to me. But, surprisingly, a lot of guys I talked to were pretty chill. They didn’t identify the films these quotes were pulled from, nor did they make fun of me; they just went with it. I couldn’t tell if they were simply laid-back and didn’t mind the quotes, if they hated them but they pretended not to so they could push their own agenda, or if they just weren’t familiar with too many romantic comedies.

The first quote is from Never Been Kissed and the second is from Up (I know, not a typical rom-com, but it has its romantic moments).

This guy never caught on to my Easy A quotes.

He was amused by this line from Mean Girls.

I couldn't resist using this great quote from She's the Man.

I started to think that maybe I was really quick to judge Tinder and the people who use it. I realized that many of the men I talked to did not embody the frat boy stereotype I had envisioned and that Tinder was meant for more than just finding someone to hook up with. Additionally, I realized that maybe you don’t have to be so careful and nervous when you start a conversation with someone online; just be yourself and if that other person is genuinely interested in getting to know you, then they’ll respond well.

RELATED: We Found All Your Favorite Contestants From This Season of 'The Bachelor' on Tinder

I mean I sent most of the Tinder matches the weirdest, most random messages (some of which didn’t even make sense) and they didn’t freak out.

Another classic Mean Girls quote:

…Or maybe I spoke too soon.

Either way, I didn’t talk to any of my matches for very long. I continued to message rom-com quotes to each ‘match’ until I got a funny reaction out of them, and then left it at that. And judging by the fact that only a couple of them tried to message me again, I’d say they were fine with that.  In truth, the only guys who said hi to me again after some time had passed were those who received the ‘subtle’ movie quotes from me. Again, I’m not entirely sure how to read that: did I scare them away with my quirkiness, or did they realize that I wasn’t looking for a casual hook-up?

With all its ups and downs, Tinder is still different from what I expected. Not only did I get a decent amount of messages from matches, but I got over 400 ‘likes’ in a few weeks, much more than I anticipated. Being acknowledged in such a way was oddly flattering, yet it wasn’t enough for me to keep my Tinder profile and give it a serious shot in the future. With all experiments, one must draw a conclusion from their research. Personally, I can say that I only took away two real conclusions from this fun little experiment: 1) Tinder is not for me and 2) not enough men have seen Mean Girls.

11 Signs You’re in Denial About Graduating

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The end is near, or so that’s what everyone has been saying. You choose not to pay attention to all that talk because, as a senior, it’s depressing, terrifying and heart-wrenching all at the same time. You’ve stuck your fingers in your ears and sang “la la la” because you’ll do anything to drown out talk of graduation (even reading the word gives you chills).

Like many others in the class of 2015, you may be flat-out refusing to believe that you’re graduating soon from the school you’ve grown to love. You’ve walked the halls at ungodly hours, enjoyed (or endured) campus dining and gained a second family and home at college. We understand your unwillingness to leave and have seen the same misty-eyed look in other seniors. If you can relate to any of the following points, then somebody needs to call the doctor, because it means you’ve got a bad case of denial (don’t we all wish we could be #foreveryoung?).

1. You ignore all the warning signs.

You’ve set up your email to filter any messages that contain the following words: “senior,” “ceremony,” “graduation,” “commencement,” “end,” “last” and “goodbye.” If you don’t think about leaving school forever, then it won’t happen. That’s how it works, right? You also refuse to transition from your student email that has so faithfully notified you of weekly pizza deals and online clothing sales. The email you used before (beautiful_gurl1992@yahoo.com, anyone?) was from way back in high school, and your next email will be your professional email that will stick with you for a while—your student email represents everything sweet and perfect about this stage of your young adulthood. And now graduation is trying to take that away from you? Say it ain’t so!

2. You avoid conversations about the future of your friendships and relationships.

When you grab froyo with your roommate of three years, you don’t talk about how these late-night dessert trips will soon be a thing of the past or how keeping in touch will be infinitely harder when you start your jobs in different cities. You just focus on the here and now, not the fact that your entire friend circle will disperse in a matter of weeks, never to reunite and hang out as frequently or as effortlessly as you do now ever again. No biggie.

3. You hate when underclassmen get nostalgic, because you know you could be way more nostalgic… if you wanted to be, which you don’t.

They haven’t even been around for that long—what are they getting teary-eyed over? You roll your eyes at non-seniors who are posting about their last day of classes… for the semester. Though you were in their shoes not long ago, you feel like there’s a generational gap between those who are returning to campus next fall and those who are being mercilessly chucked into the real world. Non-seniors only need to worry about one summer, while graduating seniors need to worry about the rest of their lives.

4. You pretend there will be plenty of opportunities to finish your bucket list.

Is your schedule too booked for that annual art exhibit you’ve always wanted to see? You lie to yourself and think, “Next time.” Because there will totally be a next time. You’ve successfully convinced yourself that you will always be a resident of this city and that you will always attend this school. It’s the only life you’ve known for the past four years, and admissions cannot kick you out because you’ve already scratched out the expiration date on your student ID.

5. You haven’t figured out necessary post-graduation arrangements, such as booking flights back home or securing housing.

As much as you love talking about what your plans are after graduation (sarcasm), you’re struggling to work out the minor details of grown-up life, like where you’ll sleep at night. Things usually fall into place with time, so instead of browsing Craigslist for cheap apartments, you’re spending your time looking through the bands coming through town next semester. You can almost smell the residual sunscreen from the long summer and the smoke from back-to-school BBQs.

6. You haven’t started packing or even sorting your things into “keep” and “discard” piles.

This dorm/apartment is your home. You haven’t even purchased packing boxes because the idea of shipping all your stuff to a location that is not here freaks you out. Plus, you just can’t bring yourself to throw away all the useless freebies your school has given away—because who knows when you might need an inflatable replica of your school mascot?

7. You make new friends and act like you have forever to bond.

There’s something about senior year that makes you open up and appreciate the classmates you’ve spent years ignoring. You’re probably guilty of saying something like, “Why did we not hang out earlier?!” between hugs and squeals of delight for newfound friendship. Maybe you’re reaching out now because you hear it’s hard to make friends after college—not that you have to worry about that, since you are never, ever leaving.

8. Your cap and gown are stowed away in an unknown location.

Come to think of it, you haven’t seen your cap and gown since the day you picked it up. But you’re pretty sure you’ll be able to dig around and find it the day of graduation, so why bother looking now? You have more important things to do, like sleep until 2 p.m. and not study for that final you are totally done with. The worst thing that could happen is you show up to graduation without the proper attire, but worse things have happened to many people before you (read: graduating, period).

9. You say “see you later” instead of “goodbye.”

You don’t need to ask people when they’re leaving school, because you already know the answer: soon. Finding out exactly how soon would be overkill for your heart, so you prefer to end every interaction with a casual “catch you later” instead of the sobbing, wet mess it could easily turn into. It’s usually less awkward for everyone if you keep your emotions bottled up inside. So instead of a proper farewell, your friends should expect to receive a very impersonal mass text announcing your soon-to-be absence from their lives.

10. You don’t know any details about graduation weekend.

How many ceremonies do you have to attend? What’s the dress code? Will there be free food? For being the reason for so many celebrations, you sure are clueless about what’s going on. Your parents expect you to lead them through the busy weekend, but they’re in for a surprise. You haven’t made any restaurant reservations or RSVPed with how many guests you plan to bring to graduation.

11. You still measure time in terms of summers and school years.

As a working adult, the word “summer” will no longer be synonymous with a break. How sad is that? Even though you’ll soon be operating on the calendar year, you still find yourself asking your friends where they’ll be this summer. The only thing sadder than being so far away from them is that there’s no guarantee you’ll see them at the end of it. No more back-to-school bear hugs, “I’ve-missed-you-so-much” tackles or screams of excitement when your group of friends is reunited on campus. But soon you’ll totally have that 401(k), which just as cool, if not more.

We hate to see you go, collegiettes. Parting ways with college can feel like a breakup, which is why our best advice is to have a clean break. Commencement will be like the pulling off the Band-Aid, but you’ll start healing before you know it. You’ll see your friends at reunions, and you’ll always have the memories of your crazy college days whenever you visit campus.

Two George Mason Students Are the Victims of ‘Sextortion’

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On Monday, George Mason University officials issued an alert to members of the school community reporting that two students had been the victims of a scheme known as 'sextortion.' Sextortion, or the threat of spreading individuals’ explicit photos if they do not pay a requested amount of money, is becoming an epidemic for young people, according to the United States Justice Department.

The two students were contacted over the Internet and persuaded to do sexual acts on webcams for the suspects, who recorded, saved and then blackmailed the victims. In both cases, the suspects “‘threatened to circulate the videos on the Internet unless the victims paid $5,000.’” The investigation into the crime is still active at George Mason University.

WTOP talked to an official from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, Ju’Riese Colon, who stated, “these are adults who are soliciting children for these images.” Colon added that both young men and young women are the victims of these types of crimes. Those affected by sextortion often feel trapped in their situation, as the fear of the extortion itself coupled with the potential shame of sharing their circumstances is paralyzing.

The U.S. Justice Department released a report this past April, which included information on “Internet crimes against children,” and found that sextortion is “by far the most significantly growing threat to children.” The report describes that, with changes in technology (especially cell phones), these kinds of acts are becoming easier for criminals to perpetrate and in larger numbers. There are even sites “created by offenders for the sole purpose of luring [in] minors...and then sexually exploiting them.”

Fortunately, the report adds that more and more measures are being taken to stop this kind of cyber crime. Unfortunately, we live in a world where we have to take these kinds of precautions. Information sent in confidence has the potential to be spread far and wide via modern technology. Always beware that, even when sending private footage or information to someone you trust, the internet is not a private place.

Mom Goes to Surprise Daughter at College, Ends Up in Stranger's Bed

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Deanna Pilling, mother of McKenna Pilling, flew to surprise her daughter at Utah State University last weekend just in time for Mother’s Day. Part of the surprise was lying down in what she thought was McKenna’s bed, but when Deanna sent her daughter a selfie, she discovered she was in a stranger’s room!


McKenna, being the 18-year-old Millennial that she is, naturally tweeted the screenshot of her mother’s texts, and the tweet went viral. It currently stands at 17,000+ retweets and 36,000+ likes, and will surely be memed into oblivion. The two are now so famous that they appeared on Good Morning America, where they got to explain the exact circumstances of the mishap.

McKenna’s mother said that she was in the correct dorm at Utah State, but somehow landed in the wrong room. McKenna added that, in the midst of sharing the hilarious mix-up with fellow college students, a friend of hers recognized the bedspread in the photo and actually discovered it was her room that Deanna had mistakenly wandered into! Thankfully, Deanna was not exposed to the frightening petri dish of germs that flourish in male dorm rooms.

Luckily, McKenna and Deanna were reunited and able to spend Mother’s Day together. McKenna tweeted another photo of the two, saying, “shout out to momma pilling [sic] for being hilarious and going viral on Twitter. Happy Mother’s Day, love you.” We’re glad they found each other, and that they now have what is probably one of the best surprise-gone-wrong tales that exists!

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