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4 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Friends About Your Relationship

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College relationships are so much more grown-up compared to high school relationships, right? Dating in college calls for more mature moves, such as not telling your friends every little detail about your relationship. While spilling some things to your roommates is perfectly okay, there are experiences that should be kept private between you and your SO for the sake of honoring your relationship. Here’s what not to tell your besties (as tough as it may be).

1. The private details of your partner’s life

Your SO tells you something really private and asks you not to tell anyone. This is absolutely a contract you cannot breach. Failing to respect your partner’s wishes could mean the demise of the relationship, especially if word gets out.

“You shouldn't tell your friends any secrets or private things your boyfriend entrusts in you,” says Suzanne Oshima, dating coach at Single in Stilettos. “Don't even think for a moment that it would be okay to just tell your best friend.”

Oshima says the consequences of doing so are dire.

“Why? Because if your boyfriend ever finds out that you shared something that he entrusted in you, he will never trust you again with anything else that he holds near and dear to his heart,” she says. “Men have a hard enough time opening up about their feelings, so don't breach his trust.”

Seriously, don’t. It means a lot that he told you this in the first place!

2. Every single disagreement you have with your partner

Sometimes it’s okay to consult your girls when you’re not sure who’s in the wrong. However, telling them about every single tiny argument you have with your SO can’t end well.

“You shouldn't tell your friends about every single fight you get into with your boyfriend,” Oshima says. “If you do, it will start to taint how they feel about him, and they'll just try to get you to break up with him.”

It’s best to keep some of the smaller arguments to yourselves. Plus, you should be able to work it out with your SO without the aid of your friends.

3. The super intimate stuff

If you’re experimenting with sex for the first time, it’s totally natural to have questions that you want to ask your girls. Remember, though, that divulging every single detail of these intimate happenings between you and your partner can take away from the importance you should be placing on these occurrences. After all, having sex with someone you deeply care about doesn’t happen all the time.

“I know so many like to kiss and tell, but you shouldn’t tell your friends about your sex life,” says Julie Spira, online dating and relationship expert as well as founder of Cyber-Dating Expert.

Spira says if you do tell one of your friends about your sex woes (or intimate details about your partner’s body and abilities) and you happen to get in a fight with said friend, those dirty details you spilled could get back to your SO. Now that would be awkward.

Make sure you have sex discussions with a person you totally and completely trust, because the situation Spira described could be nightmarish — especially if you attend a small college.

4. Exactly how fabulous your relationship is

Things aren’t going well — they’re going amazing. And we’re totally happy for you! However, keep in mind that you don’t want to be excessive when talking about it to your friends.

“You shouldn't gush and brag all the time to your single girlfriends about how great your boyfriend and relationship are,” Oshima says. “Being in love and in a great relationship can be one of the most amazing things. But it's important to be sensitive to your girlfriends who are single and not in a relationship right now.”

Remember when you were single and one of your friends was totally infatuated with her boyfriend? You had to hear about it all the time, and after a while, you were a bit fed up. Chatting about something adorable your SO did is fine from time to time, but don’t go overboard. As Oshima said, you should be considerate of your friends’ feelings.

Relationships are awesome, but with them come some expectation of privacy. After all, would you want your SO sharing every detail with his or her buddies? We didn’t think so. Honor your SO by keeping the intimate aspects of your relationship just that – intimate.


The Disney Store No Longer Puts Gender Labels on Its Halloween Costumes

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Who says girls can’t dress up as Spider-Man for Halloween? Not The Disney Store, apparently—Cosompolitan noticed that the company’s site, which used to sort its Halloween costumes by gender (“Boys” and “Girls”), now groups all costumes under one category: “Kids.” Just last year, the site made clear which types of costumes they felt were meant for whom—all the princess and fairy dresses were “For Girls” and featured pink, while pirates, superheroes, villains and the like were “For Boys” and featured blue. The picture below is from 2013.

Now, the separate Halloween pages are gone. The overall Disney Store site does still have gender-specific pages, but don't worry—the "Girls"page suggests Darth Vader, Buzz Lightyear and Captain Hook in its list of what’s “Popular For Princesses" (though you may have to click beyond the first set to see them).

We’re glad that more major companies are following the example set by Target, who recently removed gender labels from its Toys, Home and Entertainment sections. This is sure to have a trickle-down effect in which other brands both big-name and small will see the importance of allowing children to explore their interests and identities without feeling pressured to look, behave or dress a particular way.

There is one more step to take, though. While the web design is different, the costume photos remain the same—and very much gender-normative. How many more years will it take before we start seeing girls regularly model superhero costumes? For more kids to be comfortable and confident expressing themselves, they need to see themselves and their preferences reflected in others.

19 Signs You're From Pennsylvania

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Being on the East coast, you know that one of the most iconic states is the Keystone State, where some of history’s most celebrated figures resided in some of the US’ most historical cities. A true Pennsylvanian knows about the Quakers, Benjamin Franklin, William Penn and that, of course, Pennsylvania has the best shape out of all the other states with its almost perfect rectangle design. Whether you are from Philly or Harrisburg, here are the 19 signs that show you are an absolute Pennsylvanian.

1. You know how important Punxsutawney Phil is.

Will he or won’t he see his shadow?

2.  We say PA. Never Pennsylvania.

Saying Pennsylvania is a sign you are not from PA.

3. You have tried at least one Philly Cheesesteak.

It’s mandatory (since you live in the same state!)

4. Potholes are EVERYWHERE.

Street work happens every other day and every time at least one pothole appears after. ALWAYS.

5. You have had at least one krimpet, cream-filled chocolate cupcake or mini apple pie.

Tastykake: What else is there to say?

6. Whenever you hear about a city in PA, you get... 

HAPPY! (And do a Carlton dance in your head.)

7. You know the difference between UPenn and Penn State before you even go to high school.

The difference is so real.

8. You know Hershey, PA is the capital of the greatest thing known to man: chocolate.

Hershey chocolate ring-a-bell?

9. The phrase "going to the beach" doesn't ring any bells.

But "going down the shore" does!

10. Going to Wawa to get a hoagie every other day is quite normal.

I mean, where else are you going to get it?

11. You have seen the arts in Philadelphia at least once.

Again, you are in its homestate!

12. When summer vacations come along your family is stuck between going down the shore and up to the Poconos.

It may not be for a lifetime but you can never get that summer week back!

13. You can spell "Schuykill" in your sleep.

Not kidding.

14. You love "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

Especially if you’re from Philly!

15. Whenever you hear "snow day," you know that it usually means...

Two snow days! But it also means less spring break days. Thanks [insert School District here].

16. You know how passionate sports fans can be.

*cough* Eagles fans *cough*

17. Wedding receptions often take place in fire halls.

Only in PA.

18. Alcohol is quite hard to come by.

Don't even think you can get it from a convenience store.

19. Whether you come for summer vacation or to live (for an extremely short time) after school...

PA will always be there to welcome you home (Just like Hogwarts!)

So, PA collegiettes, do you display any of these signs?  

11 Cats in Halloween Costumes

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Halloween is upon us, and that means collegiettes everywhere are looking to strut their stuff in creative costumes! Looking for some inspiration? It may be closer (and more cuddly) than you think. Take a look at these cute cats, all decked out for Halloween!

All this kitty needs is seven dwarves!

Make sure your cat isn’t looking too mainstream this Halloween.

Forget Halloween; this cat and its dog companion look ready for Thanksgiving!

Even cats like to get down on Halloween. Olé!

This cat must feel like a true Cat-lifornia Gurl channeling her inner Katy Perry!

Move over, Jack Sparrow! There’s a new pirate in town.

Looks like Kate Middleton has some royal competition.

Simba, we’ve found your twin!

Who doesn’t love some noms at the end of a long Halloween night?

It’s time to man the sails!

This a great costume if you’re on a super tight budget.

What costume is your cat rocking this year, collegiettes?

5 Things You Can Get for Free With Your Student ID

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If you haven’t already realized, the “poor college student” isn’t just a stereotype! After shelling out big bucks on dorm supplies, a fabulous back-to-school wardrobe and the infamous load of college textbooks, chances are you probably won’t have a ton of cash left over for the random incidentals of college life, like late-night pizza delivery and the occasional shopping spree.

To ensure that you can afford that doorstopper of a chemistry book as well as a date night on the town, Her Campus is here to show you how your student ID can get you tons of amazing stuff at absolutely no cost to you! A college budget doesn’t have to mean missing out, and if you take advantage of the freebies available to students, you really can have it all. 

1. The Washington Post online

The Washington Post offers free digital access with any college email address (ending in .edu), so you can be up to date on all of the latest news the next time your friends are having a political debate in the dining hall.

2. A free drink at Chipotle

The beloved chain offers a free soft drink with the purchase of any meal when you show your student ID, so you can keep your wallet as well as your stomach happy.

3. A free drink at Qdoba

Qdoba offers the same deal as Chipotle, providing customers with a student ID a free soft drink with any meal purchase. So regardless of which Mexican chain you choose, you’ll be getting some sweet rewards!

4. A free drink at Chick-fil-A

If Chick-fil-A is more your style than Mexican cuisine, you’re in luck! The delicious chain also offers a free drink when you order a meal and flash your student ID at checkout. So many choices!

5. Six months of Amazon Prime

Amazon offers a free six-month subscription to Amazon Prime with a valid college student email address (ending in .edu), and then 50 percent off of your Amazon Prime subscription after that initial six months. This means you’ll receive exclusive discounts for students as well as free two-day shipping your orders, meaning the last-minute Halloween costume you picked out will arrive on campus with plenty of time to spare.

The day-to-day necessities of college can be expensive, but that shouldn’t stop you from making the most of your college experience. With a little help from your handy-dandy student ID (and Her Campus, of course!) you’ll have the best year yet without breaking the bank. Check out our article on 38 stores with student discounts for even more ways to save!

Marc Jacobs is Changing Fashion in the Best Way

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Attention, collegiettes: if you needed any more proof of all of the positive strides that were made this fall at NYFW, this is it—plus-size model Beth Ditto absolutely killed it at the Marc Jacobs Spring/Summer 2016 show on Thursday.

 

Last seen on the catwalk in 2010, Ditto has remained out of the spotlight for the past few years. However, this all changed as she strutted the runway for none other than Marc Jacobs (who just so happened to close NYFW, making this an even bigger statement).

Ditto shut down the haters, stunning everyone in a gorgeous white gown with a low-cut neckline and thigh-high slit. 

Ditto has always been an advocate for discussion about body image. Covering The Advocate in 2012, she was quoted saying, “I think it’s really important that people are talking about your body, because if they don't, then you’ll never be able to break that barrier.”  

The diverse presence of body types at fashion week this year has been a very positive step in the right direction, and we are so excited to see what the future holds!

Lady Gaga's Powerful New Video Highlights the Problem of Campus Sexual Assault

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Whatever you think of Lady Gaga, there's one thing we can all agree on: she is truly a celebrity who uses her fame for good. Whether she's speaking out in support of the LGBTQ+ community or, in this case, shedding light on an important issue across college campuses, she's using her voice to spread messages that everybody needs to hear.

Her latest single, "Til It Happens To You," is no exception. The song was created as a part of the documentary on campus rape, The Hunting Ground, directed by the Academy Award-nominated Kirby Dick.

Gaga's video was released yesterday and doubles as a public service announcement on sexual assault on campus. The video, which is dark and raw, starts with a trigger warning, but adds that what you'll see "reflects the reality of what is happening daily on college campuses."

In an interview with the Huffington Post, composer Diane Warren explains, "I didn't want to sugarcoat it."

A portion of the song's proceeds will be donated to organizations supporting survivors of sexual assault—so be sure to download it on iTunes now.

21 'Gossip Girl' Style Moments We'll NEVER Forget

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The hookups. The on-again, off-again friendships. The excess of money, power and success that could be achieved even after dropping out of college. There are a lot of things we still remember about Gossip Girl, but the one thing we’ll never forget—the fashion! For six seasons, the show’s stars wore ensembles we could only dream of. Now, we’re counting down, in no particular order, our 21 favorite style moments.

1. Every. Uniform. Ever.

Blair and Serena were masters of the Constance uniform. Each putting their own unique spin on the mandatory dress code, they made us all want to be schoolgirls again.

2. Serena’s debut

Ms. van der Woodsen waltzed right back into life on the Upper East Side with an equestrian-inspired outfit that made her the envy of all the friends she had left behind.

3. Jenny, the early years

Let’s just get this out of the way. We still haven’t forgiven Jenny for doing you know what with you know who. Sure, she was cute during the first few seasons, but once grungy Jenny took over all hope was lost for this would-be fashionista.

4. Vanessa (that one time)

Vanessa’s style was admittedly touch-and-go for the majority of her tenure on GG, but this vibrant maxi really popped and left its mark. 

5. Themes aplenty

The UES partied. A lot. So whenever those shindigs had a theme we were in for a treat. This Prohibition-style extravaganza was one of our absolute favorites for its sparkly, flapper-esque sheaths.

6. Catwalking

One of Jenny’s creations, this dress’s shape and color certainly stood out among Eleanor’s drab collection.

7. Love me?

This outfit is not so much memorable for its chic factor (not that it isn't chic!), but for the scene it comes from. To say we vividly recall Chuck’s declaration of love to Blair is a major understatement, making this look one we’ll always cherish.

8. Working woman

Blair is an inspiration for many reasons, but her office wardrobe is tops for us. Who knew shorts could be workwear? Actually, we did because, you know, Blair did it.

9. Sheer perfection

We have no words.

10. Vacay or bust

Blair’s Season 2 Hamptons getaway did wonders for her wardrobe—and ours! Suddenly her girly style was more relatable than ever and made us want to pack our bags immediately.

11. Pearls and panels and prints, oh my!

On anyone else, this dress could’ve been overkill. Put it on Serena van der Woodsen, and you’ve got a look that’s museum-worthy.

12. White clothing not optional

We didn’t realize how sophisticated a party could be if you demanded your guests go completely monochromatic. A sea of white outfits made this end-of-summer bash a smashing success, though Chuck left a sore loser. (Three words... eight letters...)

13. We’ll always have the Met steps

We have to give major props to costume designer Eric Daman, who always found a way to make Blair and Serena’s looks complimentary. No matter what the two were wearing or what type of bestie battle they were in, we never had to fear a wardrobe clash.

14. Paris is for hats

When Gossip Girl shot a portion of Season 4 in Paris, we were thrilled beyond belief. The stunning backdrops were even remarkably upstaged by the ladies’ unbelievable style shakeups. Serena in a hat? We thought we’d never see the day, but man was the wait worth it.

15. What to wear to a wedding

There were perhaps too many weddings to count during GG’s run, but no wedding look can match Blair’s pink floral masterpiece. Consider us prepared to dress without worry for all our friends’ upcoming big days.

16. Cutouts galore

Serena was the queen of cutouts, and she totally pulled them off. Especially this one, which she wore to a Sotheby’s auction. It’s not exactly what we thought one might don to attend an auction, but what do we know about fancy rich people functions?

17. Coming out at Cotillion

Season 1’s Cotillion episode gave us two of the most iconic Serena and Blair fashion moments we would ever see on the show. Now what kind of party do we have to go to if we want to dress like this?

18. Serena takes Cali

Remember when Serena moved to California to become a big time movie something or other? If anything, we loved her take on the Cali-girl look.

19. Red all over

No one has ever looked more beautiful than Blair Waldorf did in this moment. Let’s not forget that this dress provided this incomparable visual as well.

20. Wedding belle

This slightly overwhelming Georges Chakra dress wasn’t exactly what we envisioned Serena getting married in... but really, if anybody was going to wear a gilded wedding dress, it would be Serena, wouldn't it?

21. Mrs. Chuck Bass

Blair’s first wedding didn’t quite end up the way she thought it would, but her do-over with Chuck allowed her to skip the traditional white gown for this gorgeous beaded confection. We’ll just be over here drooling now, okay?

Which of these style moments was your favorite, collegiettes? And which did we forget to include? 


The 21 Sexiest Chuck Bass Moments of All Time

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The anniversary of Gossip Girl is great for so many reasons—we have a reason go back and binge on the entire series. What would Gossip Girl be without that dead sexy billionaire playboy-turned-softy Chuck Bass? We’re reliving Charles’ sexist moments from the series, below... while we try to maintain our composure.

1. All the times he knew just how cool he was

2. When he made you care about his well-being

3. Every time he snuggled with Blair

4. When he was jealous but your feminist self just didn’t care

5. THAT limo hookup

6. When he handsomely clenched his jaw

7. Whenever he was grumpy

8. When he spoke the language of love

9. That time he smugly realized just how adorable he is

10. When he had the guts to grow up and apologize for his actions

11. That time he leaned on Blair for support

12. When he made prom perfect for Blair even though he couldn’t be her date

13. Every time he was vulnerable

14. When he (stupidly!) sacrificed Blair to Prince Louis

15. When he said exactly what we were thinking

16. When he schooled Nate for trying to change Blair

17. This moment...

18. And this one...

19. Oh, and this, too!

20. When he settled down and married the love of his life

21. Every time he stated the obvious

Long live that Mother Chucker! What are some of your favorite Chuck Bass moments, collegiettes?

5 Career Websites Every College Girl Should Bookmark

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We’ve all had those days where we feel weighed down with worries about the future. How do I get an internship? Is my resume good enough? What career path should I choose? There’s no need to panic, because you’re not alone! These are questions all collegiettes find themselves asking from time to time. Before you let the stress of internship applications and finding a job after college take over your life, take a look at these websites that will help guide you toward ultimate career success.  

1. The Muse

On The Muse, you can find tons of articles filled with career advice that will help you find a job that lines up with your passions. You can also find information about grad schools and how to make your job application stand out from the pile. Additionally, you can up for The Daily Muse newsletter to get even more career advice and the latest updates on companies that are hiring.

“The Muse is like a one-stop shop for all things related to your career,” says Lily Herman, a Wesleyan junior who works as an editorial intern for The Muse. “The site features absolutely stunning company profiles, so you can see what working at these organizations is really like. I really believe that The Muse offers some of the best career advice out there. You can never really go wrong reading an article on there.”

2. Levo League

Sometimes websites can be filled with tons of information, but you still can’t find the specific answers you’re searching for. If you’re looking for one-on-one career advising, Levo League is the perfect source for career advice on a more personal level. Levo offers a mentoring program where you can connect with professionals who will help to jump-start your own career.

“I reached out to a mentor who worked in the field I was interested in, and it was the perfect way to gain insight for future jobs,” says Caitlin Avery, a senior at The Ohio State University. “I got to learn about her experiences, and she even helped me engage in networking opportunities with employers.”

You can sign up for free and ask different career experts questions to steer you toward the right path!

3. CareerRookie

Sometimes career fairs can be pretty overwhelming, but that doesn’t always have to be the case. CareerRookie is a student-based organization that links job and internship seekers to different opportunities. One of the unique features this website offers is local career fairs. You can also post your resume and interests to the site and let employers reach out to you.

“CareerRookie led me to a career fair near my school, where I met with companies and actually got a couple interviews!”says Rebecca Kid, a senior at Dartmouth College. “It was a great resource to help me get connected with future employers.”

4. Intern Queen

If you’re looking for internship advice or opportunities, look no further. The Intern Queen Lauren Berger is here to help. Berger started the website in 2009 to share her experiences and help college students find jobs and learn professional skills. She has been featured on The Today Show and Fox & Friends and in The New York Times, the New York Post and Teen Vogue.

“When I was an intern and looking for internships, there were not many helpful websites,” Berger says. “I wanted a website that felt like a community — and I wanted a person to take me by the hand and guide me to great internships. That what I try to do for students.”

Her blog is full of tips and tricks to impress your bosses, use social media in the workplace and boost your resume. Big-name employers and companies can post jobs right on the site for you to browse and apply to. Take advice from Lauren, who has had 15 internships throughout her career. Her website will put you one step ahead of the crowd!

5. Ed2010

Has it always been your dream to work for a magazine, just as our favorite stars do in all those clichéd films? Turns out it might be possible after all. Ed2010 is the perfect website to find advice on getting into the magazine and media business. On the site, you can find job and internship opportunities all over the country. They even have tips for how you give your resume a complete makeover to attract specific brands.

“Ed2010 is awesome for editorial and magazine internships and jobs,” says Avianne Tan, a senior at New York University. “They also have resume reviews and mentorship programs you can apply to.” Check out Ed2010 to kick-start your magazine career!

There’s no need to panic about your future just yet. Take time to do some research and find out what’s right for you! These resources will bring you one step closer toyour dream job.

23 Times Chuck & Blair Were the Best-Dressed Couple EVER

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Prepare to feel really old—it’s been eight years since Gossip Girl premiered, coming into our lives and forever making them better. The show that gave us Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass also provided some of the greatest style moments in TV history, many of which were thanks to the OTP. Though it was hard to narrow down, we’ve picked 23 of our favorite ensembles from the duo to prove Chuck and Blair were by far the best-dressed couple EVER.

1. Masters of the uniform

Nobody quite does uniforms like C and B. They got it right time and time again in their Constance and St. Jude’s duds, which was the first indicator that their style would be on point for years to come.

2. In the trenches

Before these two were even a legit couple, they were taking wardrobe tips from each other.

3. Matching is key

Let us make one thing clear: Chuck and Blair were always at their best when wearing matching outfits. These green ensembles from the show’s season 2 Hamptons tenure set the precedent for what would become GG fashion law.

4. Cotillion

Keeping their as-yet-undefined relationship under wraps at Cotillion, we were elated seeing Chuck and Blair step out at a formal affair together for the first time. It’s really B’s bow-shouldered silver gown that shines here, with Chuck’s attire selflessly playing second fiddle to amp up their overall look.

5. White party

Who could forget the White Party? Certainly not us! These outfits may be etched in our memories because of the all-important three words, eight letters conversation, but that doesn’t make them any less scene-stealing on their own.

6. Always bring peonies

Chuck just told Blair he loves her! Chuck just told Blair he loves her! Okay, we’re getting a bit distracted. But aren’t these looks just as flawless as this moment?

7. Summer lovin’

New coupledom looked swell on Chuck and Blair, are we right? Starting out a love-filled season three on a high note, this moment cemented that the duo’s style is even better together.

8. Power couple

We have basically the same feelings about this as we do about #7. Probably because it’s from the same episode. We just couldn’t choose.

9. Polo match

On any other people, these colors might look completely ridiculous. But not on fashion risk-takers like Bass and Waldorf. Confession: this is indeed from the same episode as #7 and #8. What can we say? They were three for three.

10. College, here she comes

Keep in mind we would never wear pumps on our first day—or really any day—of college, as Blair did. You can take the Queen B out of the UES, but you can’t take the UES out of the Queen B. Chuck seeing her off for her big NYU adventure was just the cherry on top of this look.

11. Speakeasy costumed

Costume parties always lent a nice change of pace to the Gossip Girl fashion norms. Season three’s prohibition-style soiree allowed Chuck and Blair to do the two things they loved most: scheme and look superb doing it.

12. Flashback dreaming

Old Hollywood dream sequences make for outstanding style moments, don’t you think? Dressed to the nines, these two come out on top… even if Vanessa did best Blair in her All About Eve-inspired nightmare.

13. Wintry mix

The coldest months aren’t upon us yet, but winter is coming. That’s why we’ll be taking inspiration from C and B’s bundled up chic layering.

14. Wedding guests

We’ve seen a fair share of UES weddings, but an outdoorsy fall theme allowed for palettes that we weren’t used to seeing on this bunch. Switching up their ordinarily proper ensembles for these more relaxed silhouettes was a welcome change.

15. Cordially invited

At this point, we’ve almost run out of ways to describe their endlessly spot on style. This is just another great example of Blair and Chuck’s fashion expertise. Shall we move on?

16. Business not-so-casual

We loved seeing Blair in a suit after years of watching Chuck slay in the menswear department. This outfit gently pointed to Blair’s inevitable success as a businesswoman, as she reached her career goals so she could be with Chuck once and for all.

17. Monkey business

That cute little mutt that stole Chuck’s heart is a mere distraction. Because bumping into your former beau at the duck pond never looked so good.

18. Adorbs, even apart

Don’t be fooled by the hand holding. Chuck and Blair were not together in this episode. But aren’t they cute together?

19. On a mission

The mixing of prints and colors here should throw us off. But B and C found a way to stand out among a sea of lame dressers, which was kind of their superpower.

20. Party crashers

This episode had a lot of ups and downs, and we’re not just talking about the bar mitzvah chair—all the puns intended—ritual thing. These clothes looked almost as great on as they did getting ripped off in the steamy scene that followed.

21. Meet in the middle

Be still our beating hearts! This was pure magic, from the setting to the wardrobe to the pair’s first chilling encounter after Chuck’s near-death experience. But what we adore about these outfits is the juxtaposition of Blair’s stunning gown and the commoner’s clothing Chuck is wearing. It’s something we never thought we’d see on GG, but we’re oh-so-glad we did.

22. Building their Empire

This has got to be our favorite on the list. The coordinating colors and pure joy here set these ensembles apart from all others, in our opinions.

23. I do times two

Stop the presses. Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Bass in the stunning outfits they wore to—FINALLY—marry each other at Bethesda Fountain. What a perfect way to end the series! Excuse us while we pin this to our “bride-to-be with no engagement ring” Pinterest board.

Which of Chuck and Blair’s looks is your favorite, collegiettes?

The 7 Guys Your Friends Will Date

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Everyone knows that boyfriends come and go, but girl friends are forever. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to deal with the men who enter and exit your BFFs’ lives, whether your friends have had the same boyfriends since high school or are taking advantage of the abundance of guys at school. We’re pretty sure you’ll recognize all of these guys.

1. The High School Boyfriend

Okay, you are done hanging out with these two. For the last time, you don’t care what happened to that guy who was in their homeroom class. He Snapchats her sisters and gives her parents Christmas presents — this guy is your BFF’s #1 at school and at home. Not only does having this guy around ensure a conversation in which you can’t partake, but sometimes they also bring back their other high school friends for a weekend visit. Sounds like a fun night…

2. The Frat Bro

He’s all but got his letters tattooed on his forehead, and you’re pretty confused about how he has any time for her. If it’s time for rush, he disappears faster than Kim Kardashian’s baby fat. He’s got a calendar full of mixers, and he’s more than willing to raid your friend’s (and your) closets for the perfect outfit for his toga party or his ABC swap. Your friend has to learn his fraternity’s colors, and all of the brothers know her by name. She complains about the state of the frat house while her boyfriend works really hard on creating a multi-funnel beer bong.

3. The Bodybuilder

Forget about talking to him unless you’re ready to marvel at how much he can bench. He looks like an Abercrombie ad from the neck down, and your BFF buys him protein powder for every birthday and anniversary. Get ready for her to say, “Oh no, we’re staying in… he has to hit the gym Sunday morning.” You’re happy for her because he’s so attractive, but that kind of beauty comes with a price: listening to how much he bench presses, telling him that yes, his biceps look bigger and that there’s definitely protein in froyo…

4. The One Who’s Basically a Dad

Okay, he’s not a dad… yet. But he sure looks, acts and dresses like one. Wears polos and loafers, loves to grill, will tell corny jokes with no shame whatsoever — you know whom we’re talking about. You’re ready to let him raise your firstborn (and second-born, and third-born) children, but you’re not ready to Mr. Socks-and-Sandals take your BFF to her sorority formal unless he can pull off James Bond’s style (even with Mr. Bean’s jokes).

5. The One With the Perks

Sure, he’s a nice guy. But his SUV is really nice when you’re moving. Or his beach house is really, really nice when you’re trying to get away for the long weekend. And his econ notes are really, really, really nice when you’re trying to ace that midterm. Long story short: You like him, but you really like the other things about him. You just hope that your BFF actually likes him for his personality and not his family’s ski resort in the mountains.

6. The One Who’s One of the Girls

You’re fairly certain he has his own friends, but at this point, you can’t be positive. He’s friends with all the girls in your friend group, and he dresses impeccably. He’s always the one hanging around with you and your girlfriends when you’re trying to GNO, and he’s everything short of painting his nails with you — but your BFF is too nice to let him know that he’s overstaying his welcome. But hey, if he wants to mix the martinis, who’s going to complain?

7. The Nerd

He can be fun to hang out with on Friday night (he totally calculated the curve during beer pong), but you’re also glad to have an ally in your super-tough computer science class this semester. In fact, there are plenty of reasons why nerds make good boyfriends.

He and your friend must talk about homework a lot, but he seems like the sweetest guy, even if sometimes you can’t understand what he’s saying. You’re willing to overlook the chemistry jokes in return for a really nice guy (and help with Python).

There are tons of different types of couples you’ll run into in college; you’re sure to know all of these guys by the time you graduate!

11 Signs Your Friends Are Studying Abroad

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If you're lucky enough to study abroad, hopefully you get to go with some of your best girlfriends. If you don't go together—or if you don't go at all—you might find yourself watching your friends travel the world without you. Sometimes it's a bummer, like when they send you a picture of the "best brunch ever" at a little place in Prague. Other times you might be glad you're not there, like when they're hungover on a class field trip at 8 AM after a night in a Barcelona beach club. Either way, here are the tell-tale signs that your friends are on the other side of the world. 

1. You've perfected the art of texting within a time frame that's reasonable for both of you.

You've got about seven hours during which you're both awake, so you can't waste it.

2. You're used to seeing dozens of drool-worthy Instagrams.

Just another day of scrolling through pictures of French cafes and stunning views from Copenhagen.

3. Waking up to a hundred Snapchats of your friends at some European club is the norm.

Meanwhile, you Snap back a picture of you on the morning train ride to your internship. Cool.

4. You have to listen to them pretend like they can speak French/Spanish/German/whatever language fluently just because they're studying in that country.

¿Cómo se dice "You are not a Spaniard" en Español?

5. You're jealous of the 5th-grade-level worksheets that they call homework.

Let's be real: We all know we can drop the "study" from "study abroad."

6. You look forward to hearing their next crazy story about the mess they got themselves into the night before.

"You did WHAT with a guy from WHERE??"

7. You find yourself begging your parents to help you pay for a plane ticket to visit them.

No, you're not above using puppy eyes.

8. If you had a dollar for every time they complained about the lack of wifi, Netflix and peanut butter, you'd be able to buy that ticket.

On the bright side, at least you've seen season three of Orange is the New Black.

9. You're constantly Googling the types of foods they're eating.

Telling me you ate a croqueta does not mean I know what you ate.

10. You can't help but notice that they're drinking fabulous wines from Tuscany and you're still drinking Franzia.

Ugh. Just ugh.

11. Despite how much you hate them for the amount of fun they're having without you, you're still stoked to see them when they get back.

7 of the Most Legendary Gay Bars in the Country

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It’s not always easy to meet girls who are into girls, and sometimes a collegiette has to get creative! Going to bars is a fun and inexpensive way to meet new people. Here’s a list of amazing gay bars every collegiette should know about!

1. Gossip Grill

Address: 1220 University Ave., San Diego, CA
Nearest school: The University of California, San Diego
Best for: Casual hangouts, special events

Gossip Grill is a tasteful bar located in San Diego, California, filled with fun art and a great menu. Since it opened in 2009, it’s been notorious as a great hangout for girls. What makes Gossip Grill so cool? The place plays nice with the boys, too, so you can drag your guy friends along. Each week they host a boy’s night featuring a hot body contest and cheap drinks.

2. CUBBYHOLE


Address: 281 W. 12th St (West Village) in NYC
Nearest schools: New York University
Best for: Casual hangouts, special events

There are many colleges in New York City, and fortunately, there are also many LGBT bars! That said, CUBBYHOLE is still a favorite among NYC's lesbian bars! Maybe it's because of the $2 margaritas on Tuesdays (and half-price happy hour until 7 p.m. every other day), or maybe it's because of all of the bright, fun piñatas decorating this aptly named cozy (and often packed) space. Either way, if you're in NYC and looking for a place to meet girls, CUBBYHOLE is definitely somewhere that you can consider! 

3. Scarlet


Address: 3320 N. Halsted St., Chicago, IL
Nearest schools: Loyola University Chicago, DePaul University, The University of Chicago, Northwestern University
Best for: Inexpensive drinks, fancy environment

Located in Chicago, Scarlet has an old-school style. It was named after the old tradition of members of the LGBTQ+ community wearing scarlet clothing items to show their affiliation with others. Though filled with fancy-looking décor, Scarlet is by no means an expensive place to get a drink, with each night having a special on different drinks ranging from $3-6. You’ll love the relaxed and ambient feel!

4. Phase 1

Address: 525 Eighth St. SE, Washington, D.C.
Nearest schools: Howard University, The George Washington University
Best for: Live shows, variety of events

Lesbian bar Phase 1 has been open since 1970, making it the oldest operating lesbian bar in the country—and not one to miss out on. You don’t have to be afraid about not meeting a girl here. Whether you want to come and dance the night away to hip-hop, see a drag king show, listen to queer bands, see some Jell-O wrestling (or participate yourself!) or just play pool, The Phase has it! This bar is always teeming with lots of energy, so if you’re in the mood to hang out and party, this is the perfect bar for you!

5. Wildrose

Address: 1021 E. Pike St., Seattle, WA
Nearest school: Seattle University
Best for: Pride events, parties

Women-owned and operated since 1984, Wildrose loves to promote partying and having fun, particularly during Pride events. In 2013, they had a wild beach club called “Bush Gardens,” which hosted events the weekend of Seattle Pride. These events included a wet T-shirt contest, many DJs and dance parties and raffles and contests!

6. Sue Ellens

Address: 3014 Throckmorton St., Dallas, TX
Nearest schools: The University of Texas at Dallas
Best for: Special events, dancing

Everything is bigger in Texas! Sue Ellens holds two floors of fun and several different rooms. Not really feeling loud music or moving? Hang out on the patio! With its huge space, this bar is able to host many different events each night, including classics like karaoke and comedy nights. No matter how you’re feeling or what you want to get up to tonight, this is a bar that’ll have it!

7. Blush and Blu

Address: 1526 E. Colfax Ave., Denver, CO
Nearest school: The University of Denver, The University of Colorado Denver
Best for: Quiet, low-key events

The only bar of its kind in Denver, Blush and Blu is lesbian-owned and run. Though male clientele are welcome, the bar is largely dominated by women. Blush and Blu host many fun events such as karaoke nights, queer poetry readings, poker nights and comedy nights!

Though they may seem difficult to find, there are lesbian and gay bars in virtually any big (and even small!) city, and you should definitely check them out. Who knows whom you’ll meet and what sort of fun you’ll have!

Links We Love 9.20.15

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In defense of Hufflepuff. [The Atlantic]

Men describe their dream wedding. [BuzzFeed]

More colleges are using gender-free pronouns. [The Huffington Post]

How to throw an unforgettable Homecoming tailgate. [USA Today]

Why I had to break up with my best friend. [EliteDaily]

The French manicure might be making a comeback. [Betches Love This]

Proof that everything you see on Instagram is a lie. [Cosmopolitan]

This birthday cake is insane. [YourTango]

19 real things people have broken up over. [Bustle]

The cast of 'Modern Family' recreates scenes from their favorite shows. [TheBerry]

 


Your Favorite TV Workplaces, Ranked from Least to Most Realistic

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When you curl up on the couch to watch your favorite TV show, you probably get a glimpse into the office culture of many workplaces. Television is dead on with mentioning workforce social issues that are experienced in shows like Black-ish and Mad Men but there are some other shows that don't quite reflect real life. Do you think it's always laughter and giggles at an OBGYN office like it is on The Mindy Project? Or that working at a paper company feels like a stand-up comedy routine from The Office? Just in case you can’t separate the real from the fake, Her Campus has got you covered with the TV workspaces ranked from least to most accurate.

The Mindy Project

Let’s face it. We are addicted to the hilarious antics of Mindy and her co-workers at the OBGYN clinic in New York City. While the sitcom accurately depicts the challenges of doctors and nurses struggling to balance a professional and social life, it also gives us unrealistic expectations about the what it's like to work in a doctor's office. For instance, during one episode Mindy shares information with the entire office about her and her SO’s personal life that becomes the butt of office jokes. That would not fly in the real world.

Jane the Virgin

Who would have thought that Jane the Virgin’s depiction of a fictional telenovela would be its own drama? Jane’s father, Rogelio de la Vega, happens to be the star of the telenovela entitled The Passions of Santos. If you know anything about telenovelas, it’s that they are pure drama. During one episode, Rogelio is confronted with a jealous assistant who secretly seeks to take his spot as the leading man. While that could indeed happen on the set of a real show, the screaming fit that Rogelio performs when he finds out his character is being killed off is priceless. The likelihood of this occurring on the set of a real telenovela is slim to none.

Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation put government jobs on the map and does a great job of exaggerating the truth. Leslie, who has been working at P & R for six years as the Deputy Director, deals with the reality of various issues that come with the territory. During one episode, she takes a dramatic stand against a representative from the Mayor’s office when a possum’s life is on the line... probably not what would happen if the mayor came to the Parks and Rec office in real life. Other moments, like when characters encounter intoxicated individuals in the park, or are hit on by members of the community during town hall meetings, are not too far-fetched when it comes to a Parks and Rec position! The characters make every day on the job seem like an adventure.

Black-ish

Black-ish is a hilarious comedy that focuses on a middle-class, African American family growing up in the suburbs. While it’s good for a lot of laughs, underneath lies the honesty about the experiences of people of color in the workplace. During one episode, Andre, who works in the Urban Consumer Division at Stevens and Lido, feels he has to prove that he is “in tune with his culture” in order to impress a client. The experience of code-switching is very true underrepresented individuals in the office.

Mad Men

For Mad Men fans, the show is not only a source of top notch entertainment—it also provides a window into the experiences of women in the work place. It may be set in the 1960s but it's a real depiction of the sexism that women often still confront today. The show’s brutal honesty regarding harassment and low wages sound off on the many challenges women face, but continue to rise above.

The Office


The Office is a show that exaggerates the everyday occurrences in a standard office. Sure, The Office may be saturated with jokes, but this TV show is very honest about the different personalities you’ll meet when you work in an office setting. You may encounter the joking boss, the sarcastic receptionist, the bored employee and the coworkers fighting over their work space. They're all a part of the workplace community and it’s your job to interact and get along with them. At least from 9 to 5…

While mainstays like The Office may prep you for office life, you can’t believe everything you see on television, especially when it comes to the work place. Jane the Virgin and The Mindy Project may not be completely truthful about life in workforce but at least they make for juicy entertainment!

The 7 Best Halloween Episodes to Watch on Netflix

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If you're tired of searching for horror movies on Netflix that are actually scary, consider turning to TV shows to get you in the Halloween spirit instead. Many television shows do unique episodes for Halloween, and they're always fun to watch (and re-watch!). Here are the 7 best Halloween episodes on Netflix—guaranteed to scare!

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Hush"

While this technically isn't a Halloween episode, it's one of the scariest Buffy storylines in the entire show.

2. That '70s Show, "Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too Young to Die"

This hilarious episode spoofs well-known Alfred Hitchcock movies.

3. American Horror Story, "Halloween Part 2"

This is one of the best episodes in what is arguably the best season of AHS.

4. Parks and Recreation, "Greg Pikitis"

If you ever wanted to see Ann Perkins dressed as Raggedy Ann, now's your chance.

5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Halloween"

This Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode is set on Halloween, and it's a great one.

6. Parks and Recreation, "Meet 'N' Greet"

We love Parks and Rec so much that we couldn't pick just one Halloween episode. "Meet 'N' Greet" is laugh-out-loud funny.

7. Friends, "The One with the Halloween Party"

This episode is such a classic. Who could forget Ross's punny costume?

Get ready to laugh, scream... and wish it was Halloween already. These 7 classic Halloween-themed TV episodes are some of the best!

Impostor Syndrome: What it Is & How to Deal

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You just got an exam back, and, whatdyaknow, there's a gorgeous, red A at the op of the page. Instead of feeling proud of yourself for the accomplishment, though, all you can focus on is the negative stream of thoughts running through your head: You got a good grade on the exam, but you were just lucky this time. You obviously did well because the test was way easier than you thought it was going to be. You got through this test, but the next one is the big one you're going to fail.

This may just sound like a typical student being humble or insecure, and it's such a recurring, widespread sentiment on college campuses that most people don't give it a second thought. However, these feelings may actually denote a serious problem that students are especially susceptible to—impostor syndrome.

What is impostor syndrome?

Impostor syndrome—huh? Is it something from a TV crime show? While it sounds extremely dramatic, impostor syndrome isn't some super rare disorder that police squads are always on the lookout for. Instead, it's a psychological phenomenon in which people are not able to internalize personal accomplishments. Although it's not considered a psychological disorder, it involves chronic self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy and intellectual fraudulence, even when there's evidence that the opposite is true.

"It's not a fancy word for low self-esteem," says Dr. Valerie Young, a leading expert on impostor syndrome. "Low self-esteem is more of a global sense we have about ourselves, but impostor feelings are specific to achievement situations like school, work, career, academics."

Basically, students who suffer from impostor syndrome think they're not actually successful, competent or smart and only pretending to be that way (hence the word "impostor"). People who feel like impostors also unconsciously employ different coping and protecting strategies like blaming things on luck to manage the stress of feeling like an impostor and avoid being “found out.” They try to fly under the radar because they fear getting exposed as a fake.  

"Have you ever felt like a fake or fraud in your workplace or academic program, or worry that other people might 'figure you out?'" says licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Lauren Feiner. "Impostor syndrome is that insecure feeling deep down inside that you don’t believe you deserve the job or career you have, despite maintaining high performance.  It is that nagging fear that you will be 'found out' for not being as smart or as experienced as people think."

For example, someone who feels like an impostor might have a great GPA but will find all kinds of explanations for why that's the case. She might get her senior thesis approved but doesn't think her senior advisor even read it (“she just put it on a scale and weighed it”). She might often tell herself, “If I can do it, how hard can it really be?”

Sarah* has struggled with impostor syndrome for longer than she can remember. She recently got an amazing job, but while everyone else was really happy for her, she wasn't all too excited about the accomplishment herself.

"I was thinking things like, 'Oh, I was only selected because no one else with experience applied, because I did horrible in the interview,'" Sarah says. "I never really feel proud of myself, and [I] always downplay my achievements."

Who is susceptible to impostor syndrome?

Unfortunately, it seems like impostor syndrome was made especially for us college students. According to Young, it's prevalent on college campuses and commonly a part of the student experience.

"[Impostor syndrome] is a problem that high-achieving people, students being among them, have internalizing and crediting or owning their accomplishments," Young says.

Feiner recalls meeting many highly qualified, bright, successful women who felt like they managed to "fool everyone." One was a doctoral graduate student at Stanford who worked as an engineer at a big tech company. 

"She would constantly argue that she wasn’t smart enough or competent enough, and others would soon discover this about her," Feiner says. "Examples of success were quickly downplayed as luck, a fluke or the result of deceiving others."  

Race and gender also play into impostor syndrome. Women, people in the STEM fields, first-generation professionals, students of color or people who fall into more than one of these categories are particularly susceptible because they may feel like they don't belong or like they’re taking on the pressure of trying to represent a group, according to both Young and Feiner.

"A sense of belonging fosters confidence, so the fewer people there are in a major who look like you—and that also applies to race—the more likely you'll struggle with confidence," Young says. "Whenever there are assumptions about people's competence, and there aren't many people who look like you, then you're more susceptible."

In other words, if you don't see others like you in your profession or career path, it's easier to attribute your success to luck instead of merit.

Students in creative majors like writing, art, music and acting are also more vulnerable to impostor syndrome because, unlike other majors, they aren't necessarily being judged by objective standards.

"You're being judged by people whose job title is ‘professional critic’ once you get out into the art world or literary world," Young says. "You're only as good as your last performance."

 Stereotypes can also affect your susceptibility to impostor syndrome. Those who fall into certain groups that are prone to stereotypes about intelligence, like blonde women or Asians, face labels about competence and thus are more susceptible to impostor syndrome.

How it affects your work and career

Have you ever gotten a competitive internship or accomplished something huge at work and then kind of just brushed it off as luck or told yourself that it was because no one else was there to compete with you? This is what people with impostor syndrome go through all the time. These impostor feelings also have consequences on their work performance and careers.

For college students, waiting until the last minute to do things is simply a way of life, but there is actually a link between impostor syndrome and procrastination. While not all procrastination is a result of impostor syndrome, the tendency to procrastinate on super important things like applications for internships is connected to the syndrome because it can act as a coping mechanism. Since those with impostor syndrome might be afraid of being discovered as a fraud, they might use procrastination as an excuse or fallback in case things don't actually work out.

"If they don't get the internship, then they can say, 'Well, I'm really disappointed, but I'm hardly surprised because I know it really didn't reflect my best effort,'" Young says. "But the rub is that if they had gotten accepted, they would have felt like they had fooled them. They wouldn't have felt deserving because they knew it really didn't reflect their best effort, but they picked them anyway, so now they feel like a big impostor."

Having impostor syndrome can also turn people into workaholics. Most students have to work hard to do well in school, but self-identified impostors feel like they have to study harder and work harder than everyone else for all the wrong reasons, like believing that they're innately less smart than their peers.

"It's coming from this place of feeling like they have to do that because they're not as intelligent as other students," Young says. "They think, real or imagined, that it's easier, that I have to work harder because other people are inherently more intelligent than I am."

Not only do people with impostor syndrome tend to discount their successes, which can negatively affect their relationship with their work and career, but they may even fear success because of the visibility that comes with it and the strain that it puts between their inner feelings and outside perceptions. This can cause people to hold back and avoid reaching their full potential.

"Although impostor syndrome may drive some people to work harder and achieve more, it can also lead to chronic self-doubt, low self-esteem and burnout," Feiner says.

So while impostor syndrome might have its basis in psychology, its effects on work and life are very much tangible.

How to overcome impostor syndrome

College life can be tough all by itself, but tack on impostor syndrome, and anybody would want out. How can you get rid of that awful feeling of being an impostor? There are certain fundamental steps you need to take to free yourself of the syndrome.

1. Normalize your feelings

Basically, accept that impostor syndrome is a part of the student experience, especially if you're taking advanced classes or you’re in grad school.

"It just goes with the territory," Young says. "Your intellect is being tested over and over and over almost on a daily basis. That doesn't happen outside of school, so just know that it makes sense that, given I'm in college, I'm likely to have these feelings."

The feelings of inadequacy typical of people with impostor syndrome usually come with a lot of shame, but normalizing your feelings and realizing that having these thoughts is a pretty common experience can start to take some of that shame out of the equation.

2. Reframe your failures and your definition of competence

As collegiettes, we’re constantly subjected to this crazy definition of what it means to be competent. Students think that to be truly competent, you have to be absolutely perfect. This leads to the idea that if a student was truly intelligent, she would ace every single thing, which causes people who feel like impostors to feel ashamed when they do fail because they think they shouldn't. They experience the same situations of failure as others do, but they have different automatic thoughts in response.

Failure, of course, is part of all success stories, including those of our favorite celebs. Oprah Winfrey was fired from a TV reporter job, Dr. Seuss had his first book rejected by 27 publishers, Steven Spielberg was rejected by USC's School of Cinematic Arts multiple times and Lucille Ball was considered a failed actress before landing her I Love Lucy role. And look how everything turned out for them!

3. Realize that perfection is unrealistic

Why? Because it is.

"You don’t have to attain perfection to be worthy of the success you’ve achieved," Feiner says. "If you continually set the bar at a level of perfection, you will always feel disappointed. Set the bar at a realistic level so that you don’t always fall short."

It's important to question these automatic impostor thoughts, rethink the standards that are imposed on people and acknowledge that these standards are very much unrealistic. Have you ever met someone who's great at everything? Neither have we. In fact, it's pretty impossible. So focus on the value and unique strengths you bring to the table, not on attaining perfection at everything.

"It's not doing everything perfectly, it's not knowing it all, it's not doing everything by yourself and never getting any help," Young says. "Confidence is … identifying the resources it takes to achieve a goal."

4. Stop comparing yourself to others and own your own successes

Don’t even think about comparing yourself to the girl you know who seems to have it all: the amazing career lined up after graduation, the hot boyfriend, the fancy car and the designer clothes. Trust us, she’s definitely not perfect—nobody is! Instead, focus your energy on your own achievements.

"Most people have an easier time focusing on their failures and mistakes rather than on their accomplishments," Feiner says. "It is important to have a balance. Write down a list of things that you have achieved or succeeded at in the last year, [because] these deserve space as well."

By focusing on yourself rather than others, you can more easily avoid comparisons that are often unfair, biased and rarely helpful. There's often the idea that "everyone else seems to be doing fine," when in fact, that’s far from the truth.

"We often compare our internal insecurities to others’ external appearance of confidence," Feiner says. "You only have access to your own self-doubt, so you mistakenly conclude that your self-doubt is more accurate. We are aware of how much we’re struggling and falsely assume that others are getting by more effortlessly."

According to Feiner, we also tend to compare our weaknesses to other people’s strengths, leaving us feeling inferior. We say things like, “But I’m not as creative as Jessica,” or, “I’m not as efficient as Kayla.” Meanwhile, Jessica and Kayla may be wishing they were as detail-oriented as you are.

So go ahead: Take more risks and don't be afraid of falling down, because even the best of us fall short sometimes.

"If you can accept your failures, you can succeed much quicker," Feiner says.

5. Don’t give up

Keep going no matter how you're feeling, what grade you got on your last exam or what kind of day you're having.

"People want to feel confident 24/7, but that's not how confidence works," Young says. "We have moments of confidence, it ebbs and flows, and to realize that if you're in a tough major or that you're really challenging yourself, you're going to have these ‘oh my god’ moments, and that's okay—it's what you do with it [that counts]."

If something didn't go well, try to accept it and then focus on what you can do differently next time. Maybe seek out some tutoring or have someone look at your paper before handing it in. No matter what you do, don't give up.

6. Remember that this is a gradual process

There are no magic pills you can consume that will take all of these feelings of inadequacy away. However, there are steps you can take.

"You have to change how you think," Young says. "You have to change your thinking and then change your behaviors, challenge yourself, do the things that scare you, realize you can do it—or you fall down, you get up and you try again, and then, after a while, your feelings will start to change."

Be courageous, take on challenges, own your achievements, learn from your failures and don't let your doubts hold you back. After all, the only thing being an impostor here is the impostor syndrome itself!

*Name has been changed.

Gigi Hadid Stole the Show at New York Fashion Week

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If you’ve been keeping up with New York Fashion Week, you know Gigi Hadid is a model to look out for. This 20-year-old blonde beauty has been modeling since the age of two, so she knows a thing or two about rocking the runway. She’s also BFFs with Kendall Jenner and currently dates Joe Jonas. You can’t get much cooler than that.

We compiled all her New York Fashion Week looks, so you can see for yourselves why everyone's buzzing about this fashion it-girl!

1. Diane von Furstenberg

Gigi closed Diane von Furstenberg in this stunning gown. This look is one of our favorites! Her makeup and bright hair acessory give this elegant piece an edgy flair. 

2. Tommy Hilfiger

This printed halter maxi makes Gigi look like a beach princess as the struts her stuff in Tommy Hilfiger. We’re loving the crochet detail at the top!

3. Tommy Hilfiger

This look has been Gigi’s most talked about. She closed Tommy Hilfiger in this one-of-a-kind bikini, complete with espadrilles and a hat. The show ended with Gigi leading a pack of models, including her sister, through a beach-inspired water scene. 

4. Jeremy Scott

Bright colors were a staple at Jeremy Scott, and Gigi rocks them in this retro-inspired look. 

5. Jeremy Scott

She rocks the neon again in her sexy and playful second look in the Jeremy Scott show.

6. Anna Sui

We love this sequined top-and-shorts set, especially with the matching heels! The long fringe on the top gives this look a playful edge. 

7. Anna Sui

Sheer meets sophistication with the collar and knee-length hem of this Anna Sui dress. Gigi's lip color provides a bold contrast to the colors on the dress. 

8. Anna Sui

Gigi ended Anna Sui with this stunning patterned wrap dress. Her heels and lace socks effortlessly tie the look together.

Her Story: I Had An Abortion in College

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It was my junior year of college. I was completely in love and actually living with my (then) boyfriend, Chris. We had officially moved away from the seemingly typical shacking-it-up college couple and were actually playing house. We split the bills and every night I made us dinner. We had made the decision that down the line a sparkly ring, white dress and penguin suit were in our future. A baby fit perfectly into that little dream—later.

pregnancy test positive

Never in a million years did I think going to the doctor over Christmas break for a stomachache would mean finding out I was pregnant. Until reality came into play.

We were poor.
Unmarried.
Still in college.
Jobless.

Not exactly how I pictured my life—especially not with a baby. But I had a decision to make.

I was a practicing Catholic—I had been raised Catholic and had attended Catholic school for most of my life. The “a” word was not something we did. The “a” word was not something that was even a part of the conversation. But could I really be a mother before I turned 21? I was already playing house, so how much harder could adding a baby be? I was able to keep our puppy happy and healthy; I babysat a ton in high school and college, so I wasn’t scared of children. I loved kids, in fact! I knew I could do it. But there was that small voice in the pit of my gut, the one that always seems to say, “What should you really be doing?” My pre-“a”-word mind was constantly saying,“No, don’t even log onto Rue La La, you’re broke.” But things had changed: this time it was saying, “Yes, you’d make it work and be an excellent mother. But are you really, really sure you want to do this? Are you really, really, sure you are prepared?” At this point, I knew I was going to struggle; I felt so selfish. I wasn’t worried about what my sorority sisters would say, or my friends back home, or even my professors. I struggled with what I would tell my baby, if I kept it, about how it came into this world. This was such a charged situation for both Chris and me. We both struggled. We wanted to be independent, but at the same time we wanted to be kids. We wanted to be grown-ups, but I wanted to fully celebrate turning 21 and drinking 21 shots and trying to not puke all over my best friend.

Having a baby at our age would have meant taking a lot of help from others. I think Chris was too proud to let that happen. I knew my parents would help me raise the baby; they would offer emotional and financial support. I knew Chris and I could really do it, if we had to. Chris and I would get married and his parents would help out as well. He was about to graduate from college, so he could get a job quickly, and we could make it work. But, the question became, did we really have to? I, myself, always said I'd never have an abortion, yet there I was, discussing the possibility of one with Chris, every single day.

Since he was raised in a good Catholic family like me, we decided to give ourselves a month before we told our families. Give ourselves time to process. To fight. Freak out. Be happy. Be sad. Make a decision.

During that month, my thoughts drowned me. I couldn't focus on my sister, married, age 30, desperately trying to get pregnant. I couldn't focus on the lessons that the Church had beaten into me for years. I couldn't focus on any of that. So instead I ate chicken queso burritos and thought irrationally. I looked at baby clothes online. I read abortion support group forums.

Chris dealt with it privately. He never really shared his thoughts with me. He simply said,“I support you 100 percent either way. It’s not my body, it’s not fully my choice.” I knew he was a solid man. I knew, from watching him with our dog and the children we knew, that he would be a good father. His father had taught him well. But I also knew he wasn’t ready; he, too, wanted to simply be 22, wild and free.

One of the biggest questions that plagued both Chris and me was how this had happened. I have been on birth control pills since shortly after starting my period at age 15. I would have menstrual pain so bad that I have a prescription for muscle relaxers. I would not be able to get out of bed on rough days during my flow. So I went on birth control at a young age to regulate those issues. But, somehow, I got pregnant. According to my gynecologist, when my family’s insurance starting only covering the generic brand of pills, my hormones fluctuated too much. Generic medication, for some women, doesn’t work. He informed me that I wasn’t the first he’d seen get pregnant while on a generic. Since then I demand, and pay extra, for name brand pills.

My best friend's parents were one year younger than I was when they got pregnant. That always seemed to make its way into my mind. “What if I abort someone's best friend?” Every time I saw, texted or called her when I was pregnant, I thought about that. I know that sounds ridiculous because I was pregnant with my baby. But for some reason, I was able to separate that part out. I was able to think of the baby as not yet my baby, or on some days, not even a baby at all. Except when I was around my best friend. Around my best friend, the baby was someone's best friend. The baby was just like her: a “mistake." Except my best friend was no mistake. She is a wonderful girl, college graduate and gainfully employed. I would think about her mother a lot. I thought about seeking out her advice on the situation, but never did. How would I feel if she wasn't my best friend because 20 years ago, her parents, ages 18 and 19, did what I was considering? To this day, I’ve yet to tell her. I don’t think I ever will. In the end, the way I rationalized it, it was my business, and it would stay my business.

At almost nine weeks, I made my decision. It wasn’t some big dramatic fight between Chris and I. We didn’t even really talk about it. I woke up one morning, very early. I woke him up and just looked at him. He knew, without me saying a word. I don’t think I ever actually said to him the sentence. I think it was just understood. We were going to have a termination. I made a promise to myself that I would not cry after it happened. I would let my life go on, keep my head on straight. I chose to have the in-clinic procedure, as it was less expensive and supposed to be less painful, than using the pills. The in-clinic procedure was also faster. Once Chris and I made the choice, I wanted it over as fast as possible. (I was also starting to have a lot of first trimester symptoms, like wicked morning sickness and cravings, specifically for Lay's potato chips, in the yellow bag.)

holding hands couple love relationship support

I went in on a Friday morning and was released later that day. Chris was silent throughout the entire weekend. It took two to tango, as they say, and it was going to take two to turn off the music. And so he drove me there, as I had been drugged and couldn’t do it alone. There were no protestors outside. No scary crackheads in the lobby. Just a few other women, some with men, some not; some there for the same procedure as mine, some not, but we were all at a women's clinic that specialized in terminations. Yet despite that solidarity, we were all quiet, minding our own business. I vividly remember one girl, flanked by an older woman and a girl around her age, sitting in the corner, sobbing. Everyone let her be, because on the inside, we all knew the exact pain she was feeling. I know I did. It’s the feeling that this is the best thing for you personally, but the nagging fear, that some might not understand, the fear that speaking out means getting called a name or ostracized. Having an abortion isn’t easy, it takes a strong person to survive it, and sometimes people don’t understand that.

I cried during the procedure, not because of what I was doing, but because it hurt so badly. I will spare the details, but let's just say that was one of the most physically painful things I have ever endured. I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and spent most of the weekend sick. I avoided talking to my parents for the duration of my pregnancy, and didn’t speak to them at all that weekend. Since it was obvious I was still having stomachaches, they were fine letting me be. Chris spoke with them and told them I was violently ill again, but he was taking good care of me. They didn’t question it. Keeping this from them killed me.

As every good Southern girl knows, your parents are some of your best friends. Not sharing this with my Momma still eats at me. I know she would have not judged and would have done everything I needed her to, pre- and post-op. But this was my mess, my situation, my issue, and I was going to handle it on my own. Chris paid for our termination in full. I tried to brush it off and get him to laugh by saying, “At least this is cheaper than 18 years of private schools!” (He didn’t find it funny. I went in the bathroom after and cried.) He didn’t really talk to me much that Friday. Saturday he only kept repeating, “I love you,” over and over. Looking back, I wonder if it was to reassure himself or me. Monday morning, I showered, dressed, and went to class.

Life went on, slowly, but surely. Three weeks later, I turned 21.

To this day, I can count on one hand the number of people that know I was once pregnant. I don't stay silent because I am afraid to tell my story, afraid of what people might think. Instead, I stay silent because it was a tough, personal decision I made. No one made the decision for me; I cannot go back and change it. Even if I could, I would make the same choice. Having an abortion only defined me for a short amount of time.

couple in bed

Never in a million years did I think I would ever want to have sex again. But I got over it. I kept my promise to myself; I let my life go on. It took Chris and me a long while before we were back to “normal,” and it took us both even longer to desire sex again. In fact, the first time he tried after the procedure, I burst into tears. I don't think Chris ever really recovered from it. Not because he was personally against it, but because, he, as I, was raised to be a good Catholic Southerner. Good Catholic Southerners don’t have abortions. I know our relationship never recovered; I also don’t think he ever looked at me the same. He moved out of our apartment that summer when we ended our relationship. I haven't spoken to him in over two years.

I wish him all the best in life. I will forever remember him, not just as my college boyfriend, but as the man that stood behind me during one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made in my life. Maybe one day I will tell my parents what I did. Maybe one day. The biggest question I have unanswered is whether I will tell the man I marry. I have dated since the abortion and the breakup, just as I have had sex since the abortion. I have not told any of the men I've dated. A three-month relationship just doesn't seem like it's substantive enough. Maybe, just maybe, Prince Charming will come, and I'll find myself telling him. For now, I just smile and always remember January 15, 2010 as a day I forever changed. If it weren’t for my abortion that cold January day, I wouldn’t have the inner strength I do now. I smile not because I don’t have a toddler right now; I smile because it taught me a lot about my inner strength and myself. I am a lot of things; this is just a small piece of the whole pie.

On dark days, I think about what my child would be like today. I imagine a precocious little girl with my hair and his smile, playing with her cousins. I can’t think about that too much because what’s done is done. I have made a great life for myself and wouldn’t change a thing. I think the baby would be proud of the things I’ve accomplished.

The day my child would have been born, I took myself out to the nicest restaurant in our town, drank way too much and had dessert. I said a rosary before bed, and I thanked my little experience for turning me off Lay’s potato chips in the yellow bag, forever. My outlook on pregnancy hasn’t changed, not because of what I went through, or what my sisters have gone through during their experiences with my nieces and nephews. I’m still hopeful that Prince Charming and I will have a family, one day. When the time is right.

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